First thing: your thoughts are not you
Part of your mind got addicted and is now yelling at you for not giving the daily dose
Maybe try meditation to calm the mind, I especially recommend the 8 week mindfulness course. It teaches you how to observe, acknowledge and ignore the thoughts (also the screaming ones). They won't go away instantly but you will lessen their control over you. Remember: A smooth sea never made a skilful sailor
A course of mindful meditation. I don't mean just the meditation itself, but actually a proper course to try to instil the fundamental concepts of breaking ties and living in the now. If you have no other resources, this book is a good start.
I do the same thing. It helps me a ton at my job, but I have to actively do something to switch it off when I am not working. Exercise helps a lot, especially when I take n-actetyl selank before (slows endorphin degradation). Overall, it can be quite the cognitive hurdle.
When I was reading this wonderful book, I saw a few exercises on habit releasing, and am tempted to try them to see how it helps.
one last question: can you advise what would be the best way for me to really learn how to meditate? I like mindfulness meditation (I think that's called Vipassana?).
I started with Headspace maybe two years ago and it introduced me to it, and that's the routine I kind of stuck with when I do it on my own. and Ive read a book called Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, and I kind of dabbled in "The Mind Illuminated".....but what would you recommend for proper training?
Somewhat. Less about "not thinking" and more about experiencing what is happening in the moment, which may or may not include thoughts in words. I like practicing mindfulness in the shower, personally, as there's plenty of sensations to be with as I complete the task at hand.
Find yourself a book on meditation that appeals to your sensibilities and dive in. I started four years ago with Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World.
I second the idea of instruction.
As simple as meditation is, it's not easy. The lessening of suffering by observing and accepting suffering was and is a hard concept for me to internalize, too. It must be experienced, in my experience. Part of it is non-identification with suffering. What started to happen as I continued to practice is my sense of self separated from my experience of suffering. I deal with both mental and physical illnesses, including chronic pain, so this is no small thing. Words can't really nail the difference, but peace is something I experience and I didn't used to experience it.
I started with this book. Currently, I use Headspace, but have also dabbled with 10% Happier and read Sharon Salzberg.
I personally enjoy mindfulness. A nice, simple book for beginning it can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G
I would agree with another of the comments (SoldierOnce). You don't necessarily need to learn to relax (Although that can be good too, especially during breaks and after work!). Mindfulness is about tolerating the stress you have. You're starting a new job, likely new to the work-force in that setting, and so on - that's a lot of legitimate stress! Accepting that, and being okay with that, is the most important thing. Then it becomes less daunting and scary. To my perception, mindfulness is about saying to yourself "Oh, yep, I'm stressed right now, aren't I? I feel all sorts of ways about that meeting in an hour. And that's okay." Once you can make that shift to acceptance, it takes so much of the pressure off.
What I feel is, you need some guided meditation . Guided meditations where the narrator tells you "it's okay if you get lost in thoughts" . this book helped me. The authors cite almost all the situations that you have mentioned. Have some patience, read the book , practice as instructed.
Again, this worked in my case . What worked for me was, I believed in the book and the process and accepted that it will take for myself to heal . It certainly helped me deal with specific hardships in life. I hope whatever it is , you are facing , if you try enough you will come out of it
Thanks for your comment. Yeah your right I should take the plunge and hopefully I can find some help whilst I am out there I hear Hong Kong has public healthcare options. I use this book here
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G
It really helps me alot but I still have to deal with it from time to time. But the techniques in this book help me get out of it alot. Exercise also helps ALOT
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I have been dealing with depression for decades and have never had a year as bad as this one. Mindfulness has helped with getting away from the negative / repetitive thoughts:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005NJ2T1G/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_30y9Fb64JBDG9
And this one helped me get out of my head and focus on small changes:
I hope this helps. Sending you good thoughts and hopes for a better year.
> 这种心理类的一年一人200-400限额大概 或者按次给你报销40-80
要是每年只能有400块的限额那确实是太少了...
如果各种限制太多,可以试试我在这个post里介绍的一种mindfulness的方法... https://www.reddit.com/r/China_irl/comments/u8pc0q/comment/i5o9fwz
(比较长,我就直接给链接了...)
我以前压力大的时候试过的, 8周坚持下来还是蛮有效果的...(如果你倾向于读英文版的话,这里有kindle版本... https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G/ )
mindfulness的另一个关键的问题思考方式...就是避免自己陷进负面的思绪(rumination)当中去...rumination是depression的一个重要的风险因素...
另一个和加拿大相关的因素可能是加拿大城市普遍维度比较高,这样在一年中某些季节的阳光会少很多(阳光中的蓝光谱段会对人的情绪警醒度以及活跃度都会有比较强的积极影响 -- 当然最好是自然的蓝光, 这里有些介绍 https://eyezonenevada.com/what-are-the-benefits-of-blue-light-2/ )...另外有规律的睡眠也会有一定的影响(这个不仅仅是对光的感应)...人体的很多生理机制非常非常复杂...
This book changed my life and I highly recommend it:
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G
I think the anxiety about Zoom will get better. (And probably about the time it gets better, it'll be time to get back on campus.) We went online in March and our program did not require us to have our cameras on so out of 60+ people, only about 20% of the class has their camera on at any given time, meaning most of the class probably feels like you do and hates it. But these are strange times we are living in and also temporary...
Also, remember people often participate when they understand something. So your classmates that are answering questions probably do have a good handle on the content they are asking questions about. But remember, there are a lot of things they are probably still just being exposed to and trying to learn just like you.
Figure out your "learning" style early. If you don't just learn from lectures, do practice questions, watch YouTube videos (even before a content is presented the first time so it doesn't feel brand new when the lecture happens), take 15-20 minutes to read something from the textbook or UpToDate.
Your time to shine with derm knowledge will come during the derm section. And when you all start having standardized patients and definitely when you get to rotations, your experience helping with ADL's, interacting with nurses, not getting overwhelmed by being on a busy unit, etc. will all be useful.
Lastly, like everyone has said, stop comparing yourself to others. People settle in to PA school at their own pace so certainly some of your classmates are already in their groove. Find yours and just get through this! I highly recommended meditation and really like this book ( https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G ). I know you're probably thinking "I don't have time to read anything except PA stuff" but I was able to sub out 10-20 minutes of mindless social media time to listen to the meditations and read the chapter for the week ahead on Saturday/Sunday. Well worth it.
Best of luck!
At first I thought, maybe he’s in shock & hasn’t snapped out of it yet, but the more I read he just sounds like an asshole.
You need to put together a support system & stay organized. Reach out to anyone & everyone for help. Do not be shy about it, now isn’t the time to tip-toe or hesitate.
1) Get organized. Buy a giant calendar & dedicate it to only your stuff. Aside from appointments, use it to track your medications & symptoms. Keep a notebook to jot down questions to ask your doctors & also to summarize what was discussed in your appt.
Some cancer planners I got: + Cancer101 The best bang for your buck at $25 & they send an extra section regarding the type of cancer you have. It also includes an accordion folder to help keep track of paperwork which is great. + ReadyForRecovery Much pricier at $50, but it looks nicer & I like the way they organized it. + CanPlan Cancer Planner I bought the inserts for $18.95, but there’s a printable PDF option for $9.95. There was a lot of depressing information at the beginning of this pack which turned me off, but there’s a daily tracker section that is nicely organized & a positivity section that was cool to include.
2) Audio record your appointments! A lot of information can get tossed around when speaking with a doctor & you might find things going in one ear & out the other. Use a voice memo app just in case.
3) Get a therapist. I don’t know what kind of insurance you have, but ask if they will cover sessions. If not, ask if they know of any free options.
4) Find a local cancer resource center. The one I’ve been to offers support groups, social workers, reiki therapy, nutrition classes, art classes, wigs, books, etc... all FREE. Plus they can help you access other resources like financial assistance, rideshare programs, etc.
5) Find drivers. Who do you know that would be willing? There are also free ride services for cancer patients. Usually it’s for within a certain distance, but it’s better than nothing.
6) Meal prep. Make a few soups/stews/etc & freeze them for the days when you have zero energy to cook. We probably had 20 adult servings to start & it was a lifesaver. Ask someone to help you cook (or if they can do it) so you’ll never run out.
7) Stay hydrated. Drink a LOT of water all day long, especially on chemo days. It could help reduce symptoms from the meds. Find a pharmacy that sells Drip Drop & add a pack to your water on treatment/follow-up days.
8) Food. Tell your doctor you’d like to see a nutritionist. Avoid processed sugar as much as you can & try to incorporate the following: +cruciferous vegetables +dark purple food +orange food +zinc (?). I can’t remember that last one but I feel like it was zinc. Get the good stuff too, now’s your chance to hit up the farmer’s markets, etc. If you have a sweet tooth stock up on healthier alternatives. I found a company called ‘Modern Popsicle’ that has zero added sugar. They were the only ones in my store that actually were only made with “real fruit” as advertised.
9) Aim for ‘okay’ days. On occasion you’re going to feel pretty damn good & find yourself cleaning the whole house, chasing your kids around, meeting up with friends, or whatever. DON’T give in to this momentary burst of energy! It will absolutely kick you in the ass afterwards & it will take you so much longer to recover. It doesn’t mean you can’t do anything, just keep it reasonable. You don’t want low days or high days, you want ‘okay’ days.
10) Meditate. Mind over matter dude. I still struggle with this one, but I’ve seen it be really helpful in this situation. I recommend “Mindfulness” by Mark Williams & Danny Penman & “Search Inside Yourself” by Chade-Meng Tan.
11) Fuck cancer.
12) Fuck your husband’s shitty attitude.
Sure.
Just the process of being able to sit still and let your mind take a step back from the day-to-day can help put it into perspective.
I got into it by reading Mindfulness: An Eight Week Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World. In it, the authors talk about how we have two modes of thinking - thinking (planning, deciding, analyzing, acting) and thinking ABOUT thinking (stepping back and realizing that you are more than the thoughts you have at the moment.) The first mode leads to what is happening to OP. We experience some relatively minor negative emotion (I don't have enough, my peers have more, etc). The thinking brain, trying to solve the problem, first observes the gap between where we are and where we want to be. This highlights the gap even more. Then, the thinking brain, just trying to be helpful, looks back to similar situations searching for a solution...but the result is that we relive every moment we've felt like we didn't have enough, or that our peers had more, or that we failed in some way. This only widens the gap. Then the thinking brain searches for reasons why we are unhappy, and observing others in a similar situation who are happy leads our brain to believe the problem is with ourselves.
The goal of meditation is to deliberately think ABOUT thinking. To realize that not every negative feeling or emotion is a problem to be solved. To parse each of these thoughts individually, without letting them snowball. By interrupting the thinking brain's spiral of searching for a root cause, then searching for a solution, we can prevent ourselves from reliving every similar bad experience and recognize the single down moment for what it is - a single moment in time.
BTW, the book isn't written by some mystical yogi in a far-off land. It's written by a clinical psychologist who uses meditation as part of his Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with his clients.
This was my intro to mindfulness, and I can’t recommend it enough!
Oh god yes. I confessed all the time. I went on my mission without a whole lot of conviction but during it did my best to obey so I could be worthy of the spirit and a testimony. Boy, was this a perfect recipe for psychological distress. I constantly wondered whether my thoughts were prompting from the spirit or not and I always wondered why I wasn't getting the testimony and burning conviction I'd been promised. "Well, better step it up," I'd think. Probably because I spent 45 minutes instead of 30 minutes writing email. Probably because I thought sexual thoughts. Probably because I had Josh Groban on my iPod. And later, probably because I have an iPod. I kept stepping it up. I wanted so bad to be worthy of god's prompting and dod everything I could to merit it. When I didn't measure up to these unrealistically high expectations, I would step it up. I was ALWAYS confessing and whenever I felt a huge wave of relief, I would think it was the spirit. Nope. Just OCD. I would "sin" like maybe seeing something scandalous on late-nite TV that was sexually arousing. But I wouldn't feel guilty about it, true contrition. So I took seriously D&C " 42 Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. 43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them." So I would confess in order to create embarrassment, shame and guilt so that I could feel godly sorry and truly repent of my seems because after all "...our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence." (Alma 12:14)
OCD/Scrupulosity can be a real bitch but it is possible to overcome.of this, I testify (without hesitation). : ) It will take work. Expect to do a lot of reading. In addition to these books below, I recommend finding a therapist.
Learning about mindfulness really helped. I recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G.
I also recommend this: http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-Go-There-Are/dp/1401307787.
This: http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Your-Brain/dp/1583334831
This: http://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Fold-Marlene-Winell/dp/1933993235
And this one:http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-Binds-Recovery-Classics/dp/0757303234
That Mormon Stories podcast really helped me. I think there's a few of them. It put a name to something I'd just thought was normal. I just remember thinking "That's me!" If only someone had had the wherewithal to say "Young man, all this confessing isn't ok. Let's get you some help." I was consumed by guilt and shame all the time, never measuring up. So I'd step it up. The idea of "worthiness" was incredibly harmful to me. We are all worthy of love, of respect, and acceptance.
I also struggled with assertiveness so for what it's worth here's a discussion and some book recommendations and a discussion from last week.
Recovery is possible. I have completely gotten over all that guilt. I learned o get over that nagging guilty feeling or even that feeling like "oh shit! I left the stove on". I've had so many of those. But now I don't. I just started ignoring them. "Fuck it. Let my house burn down." What I once thought was the spirit, I now know was just my brain. Now I don't feel that. My brain has rewires so that those feelings don't come up anymore. And now I have done everything I always feared and "far worse"--I've had sex outside marriage (I was never married) and so broke my "covenants" from the temple, I've smoked weed, drank (though I don't anymore). No guilt, no shame. I'm not saying you need to do those things to get better, I'm just saying that if you'd known me a decade ago, you'd have not believed I would have ever done anything so "wicked".
My point is there's nothing objective about that guilt and shame we felt. It's only because it was instilled in us from an early age. It's a learned response and can be unlearned. We just took the Church and its truth claims and hell and punishment seriously.
Best to you. Feel free to PM me any time. Know that there's hope.
Have you tried CBD? It has helped me immensely when I've been horribly anxious but undesiring of actually being high.
Though if you can make some headway actually getting to the root of your issue that will ultimately be healthier than constantly medicating. Easier said than done, I know, but never lose hope for yourself. The human mind is an incredibly versatile thing. You mention you've tried various therapy methods - just because you haven't had success with these doesn't mean that therapy can't help you. One that has helped me a lot is mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT), a combination of mindfulness practices with CBT. It addresses certain methods for taming intruding thoughts/emotions in the moment. I suggest you read this article to help understand the biological underpinnings of anxiety and what you can do to combat them.
http://www.mindfulnessmd.com/2014/06/21/the-neuroscience-of-mindfulness-anxiety/
I recommend the book "Mindfulness: an Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World" by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. It's basically a self-administered MBCT regiment that you can do on your own with a minimal time commitment. Don't lose hope for yourself, anxiety is a vicious cycle than can easily consume you, but just know that careful mental effort on your part CAN begin to break that cycle.
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G
This answer is the best for OP's context.
I used to work a job where I was grossly over stressed, which led to extremely negative thought loops that I couldn't break free from. With Mindful Meditation, I could take 5-10 minutes and completely turn off and 'flush out' my brain, as needed. It may sound like some silly hippie crap, but it's like rebooting a computer bogged down by a ton of open applications that you aren't using so it's now in a fresh, clean state.
I highly recommend this book, it's a great, scientific (i.e. non-'guru'), introduction to Mindfulness that asks for no more than 10-20 minutes of your day.
Sam Harris: Mindfulness is Powerful, But Keep Religion Out of It is also a great little video.
Media type: Book
Title: Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World
Author: Mark Williams, Danny Penman
Notes: In my opinion a great Introduction if you never meditated before and want to start experimenting on your own.
http://www.amazon.de/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G
Website: http://franticworld.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G
Thats almost verbatim from this book. Not to knock this guy but much of this isn't terribly original.