Situationships, fuck buddies, flings and hookups are a dime a dozen when you're a nomad. On top of being exotic because you're a foreigner remember that you have a lifestyle that few have and most find exotic and attractive, even if they don't want it themselves. Humbly talk up your lifestyle, the places you've been recently, your location independent income streams and travel stories when you're on dates and it'll work in your favor.
Long term relationships on the other hand are very hard with this lifestyle. You really need to stay in the same place for months at a time. Just to find someone you're ready to commit to in a LTR takes 3+ months optimistically for most: a month of searching and two months of dating someone long enough to know you want to stay with them longer, let's say. On top of that finding someone who can and wants to be a nomad with you is a big filter on the dating search.
I've had one partner I nomaded with for 2 years. Since breaking up almost a year ago I've been steady on the hunt for another partner to travel with but haven't found one. I've had a few good situationships at the last couple of places I was living but they couldn't or wouldn't uproot their lives to hit the road with me. The hunt continues.
For CIS males I highly recommend reading Models by Mark Manson. It's the most effective ethical dating guide I've ever read. Models: Attract Women Through Honesty https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C93Q5KK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_B7M5AJ3AC32MWKB20HDK
Ignore this bitter person, they're almost completely wrong about everything and they've shown they don't understand people if they're going to talk about "flirting" the way they do. The only point I agree with them on is that the pick up artist community treats women like objects and that there are cheat codes.
There are plenty of bad books in this space, one I found to be helpful and not so misogynistic was
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C93Q5KK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_84V7Z8TH6BGFTMMND1M7
As with everything, but moreso given this space and how flagrantly misogynistic it is, take it with a grain of salt. I read lots of those kinds of books in my younger years and none of them felt right to me because of how misogynistic they were, but this one clicked with me.
If you are constantly finding abusive women to date, there is something wrong with you. This book might help you get an idea what you can do about yourself.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C93Q5KK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_Y45QTYVB1CDDMFTFQQWA
I'm glad I was able to help a bit. And thank you for the compliment lol.
I'll leave the link to the book here: Models: Attract Women Through Honesty https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C93Q5KK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_3NP85753F7T77MPSBH5X
Hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as I did. It's really eye-opening.
Yes, I'd recommend.
But don't get sucked into the belief that you have to read 10 books on dating first to get out there and start. Just be doing your thing, approaching, talking and other stuff.
Been at this over a year.
37 yo, 6’0, 162lbs, 9.5% BF, married 4, together 7, kids 3 & 13
Gym:
4x this week, again. I invited my 13yo son to go with me and he jumped at the opportunity. That’s a big change of pace, and I’m enjoying time in there with him. I helped him learn to benchpress (the bar) and he started to get defeated. We kept at it and he was doing 5 reps at the end after learning to balance the bar. It’s was awesome.
Work:
I have a 2nd interview with one of the big 5 tech companies this Friday. I got a lot of solid advice on salary/worth last week in my OYS, so thanks everyone. I also have two more interviews this week at smaller companies and I expect the salary expectations will be much lower. Both VP level positions, and one of them is with a main competitor to my previous company that I’ve run into over the years and hired or lost people to/from that company. They’re aggressively pursuing me – I didn’t apply and they reached out to me on Linkedin.
I’ve been pounding the pavement sending out 10-15 applications a day, all VP level or above, all remote. If I’m unable to get an offer in the next 30 days, I plan on changing my search to more local companies rather than a global role.
I also hooked up with a fraternity brother of mine that’s local, and met for lunch. He owns two recruiting companies that have been named the best place to work. One of his companies is Executive recruiting only. He is putting together a campaign for me to target VC’s looking for talent. Additionally, he got me in touch with the boss of the person I’m interviewing with Friday, and she was really impressed. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before.
Reading:
Not too much this week, but I did some writing which helps me put sidebar material to work. I took notes again on Models by Mark Manson.
Social:
This seems to be turning the corner. I got 3 invites this weekend but unfortunately already had plans with the family that I didn’t want to break.
Also, /u/RedRanger207 has shitty OPSEC and his wife contacted me. She told me I could (and I quote): “Take your horns of apathy and shove them up your ass”. Feisty and cool as shit. I kind of like her.
Relationship / Mental:
Despite me being unemployed, I would say this week was mentally pretty good. I sometimes slip into the fear of the unknown with the employment scenario, start questioning my value to my family and fear I won’t be able to provide. I think that’s pretty natural given my circumstance so I will just soldier on.
I finally fucked up for once in a long time. The combination of job searching, not getting great hits, and the extra responsibilities I picked up around the house really got to me one day. I was feeling like I couldn’t go out and get shit done like I needed to – specifically having time to find a new job. Last week was my first full week at home, this was the second, and despite my best efforts to “spend more time with my family” I found them a hindrance. It was all my fault though. I fucked up by telling my wife I needed to leave for a few days, and that my place was not with the family right now while I figure out how to best position us for long term happiness. This slight victim puke upset my wife to tears because she was worried about me and would miss me. It was a weak fucking move, the first one in probably 6 months, and I regretted it the next morning.
So what to do? I went to my wife the next day and told her I had made a mistake for trying to run away - and that's not what a good captain does. He weathers the storm. I would find a way to get time to make it work. I was sorry that I said that, and it was weak. It would not happen again. Everything returned to normal.
I’ve also been teaching my wife to game me, and she’s chose to pursue living entirely in her feminine to do so. That makes me very happy. Actions? She has asked me for audiobook recommendations, and I gave her Fascinating Womanhood. Each night I watch her retreat to the bath for an hour to listen. I can already see her actions making a difference in the relationship. Monday night she was vocal, sexy, and begged me to let her cum. It was a huge fucking turn-on. There was so much immersion because we were both into it. So much so, that she came multiple times in just a few minutes which is extremely rare. Wife is also back to holding my cock in bed every single night, and initiating every single night. It’s been really good and I have no complaints about the progress that is being made here now after last week’s revelation that I needed to lead here more.
I am planning on taking the kids for a few days next week while my wife goes off on a retreat by herself ‘reconnecting with her feminine’ at a cabin alone in the woods. I am excited about that – both for the kids and my wife.
Mentally this is a time where I really need to be strong and keep moving forward. It would be easy to take a few more weeks off, but that’s complacency and it’s one of my biggest fears. That’s how I got here in the first place, and I will not do it again. Ever.
Strength, motherfuckers.
Basically be vulnerable and honest, not narcissistic nor needy.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C93Q5KK/
Better, read this book(s)...
If you don't like books, there are clips on YouTube about content of these books...
> in my mind I'm still the average, awkward, insecure guy I've always been
Boom! you already know the answer, bro. Confidence and social interactions are like a muscle. If you don't use it, you lose it. You've worked out your body but not your mind. I think part of it is because you intitial reason for working out was reactionary to your ex letting herself go; deep down, you din't want to end up like her and you didn't want her to be like that so you took up the iron.
Learning confidence is tricky, tho because there are going to be many people trying to show you how but ultimately it's about your beliefs. simply acting confident may land you a few dates, but, ultimately, you want to strive to truly BE confident.
Try reading about self-improvement. I think books like [this](https://www.amazon.com/Models-Mark-Manson-audiobook/dp/B00C93Q5KK/ref=sr_1_3?crid=35BGZV0HSUWKZ&keywords=attracting+women+through+honesty&qid=1645193484&sprefix=attracting+women+through+honesty%2Caps%2C64&sr=8-3) are great. they focus specifically on attracting women but there are tons of material in there that you can (and should) apply to life in general. Let you curiosity grow. Wacth out tho, because just like there are communities of men who genuinely want grwoth, there are a lot of toxic communties as well that hate women and try to pose as legitimate grow communities.
Guide: How to actually use money to attract women:
Background:
I always used to think before I had money that women like rich guys and that all I had to do was get money and women would magically flock to me.
This was incorrect. Women do prefer rich men but it isn't some magical attractor that makes women appear out of nowhere.
I've made over $1M/year since I was 21 years old and never dated anyone before that. I remember going to a bar when I was like 22 or 23 years old and flirting with girls and mentioning how much money I made. This never went well. I didn't really have exceptional social skills or anything so never realized why this didn't work.
I then started watching some online pickup videos/strategy that really didn't work well for me either.
Then, finally, I started getting some pretty consistent success with women. Some of this information may not be novel, but it probably took me literally hundreds of hours of thinking to understand and embarrassing myself talking to a decent number of girls.
Strategy:
Realize that attraction is something that is primarily social/emotional and not a logical process.
Money can be used to put you in advantaged social positions that do actually attract women, but the money is not what is attracting them.
One way women are attracted to men is via visual social context. If they see you speaking at events, they'll be more attracted to you. If they see you as the leader of a group, they'll be more attracted to you. If other people are giving you a lot of attention, they'll be more attracted to you.
The simplest example of this is that bartenders are consistently hit on by women and are notorious for sleeping with a ton of women. It is because from a social context, everyone in the bar wants the bartenders attention and the girl has to fight for their attention too. This is all while the rest of the guys in the bar are trying to fight for the girls attention.
At $25 million net worth, you have considerable resources at your disposal to put you in advantage social settings.
Behavioral optimizations
What has worked for me:
Never pre-plan what you will say to a girl. Don't even care how she responds to what you will say. Never talk about anything impressive about yourself unless asked about it.
Tease them. Ask them less questions. Make more statements.
Women like guys that aren't that into them that don't seek their approval.
You have to be willing to allow girls to compete for you by having numerous girls around. It seems kind of mean to the girls at first, but the girls will actually like you better in the end because they feel like they won you and they know you're attractive because other girls like you.
The only good dating book I've seen.
Results:
The other week, I had like 4 girls texting me after hosting a party. All 4 of them were suggesting hanging out/going on date in the coming weeks after attending. Before, they probably would've been on the fence.
Read, or listen to this book
Also suggested, get a hair trimmer, and use YouTube videos and stuff to learn how to use it
I'd also highly suggest finding an Improv training class. Since most conversations are tangential. And being able to be fun/funny with good delivery, reading, responding, and eliciting emotions from others is a solid skill for friends and dating. (And there's not really a good way to practice this normally unless you already have the friends to experience it with)