I believe these are what you’re looking for. It’s what I use and use almost daily. Seem to be a good quality product.
I relate very much!
Something you need to accept about yourself [if you haven't already] is that you have a low-energy personality type. Once you accept this, coping becomes much easier. May I offer some advice?
Get one of these and start writing in it. My old mentor recommended this, and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. It is a wonderful way to release the overwhelming internal conflict--the good, the bad, the ugly, the wonderful--whatever! At first, I found that my high expectations were a barrier to self expression via writing, so created only one rule for myself to follow: There was nothing I shouldn't or couldn't write in my little black book. If you still experience writers' block, maybe try free writing to loosen yourself up a bit. I tend to write down the big goals/desires I have for myself and my life, and I always include the date I write it. Occasionally, I look back at what I wrote, and it's amazing how just writing something down is the first step to achieving it... I'll stop there. Give it a try!
Try physical exercise. I'm nowhere near as fit as I would like to be, but I do exercise on and off again when I'm feeling extra stressed out. I just hate how I feel while I'm doing it, but the physical, spiritual, and mental relief I have afterwards makes it so worth it. I don't exercise with others and I don't go to a fitness center or gym--too much pressure and subsequent negative energy for me. I just do about 10 minutes of jogging to get my blood flowing, and then do simple body weight exercises and dumbbell exercises.
Find/Create your "happy place." You state that your living situation isn't ideal. I am in the same boat right now... I live in a dingy, very small apartment. I can never relax there so I am currently looking for somewhere else to live that's bigger, cleaner, higher quality, etc. If you can afford it, spend the extra money for a place you can relax in. You won't regret it. This is essential for myself as an INFJ. In the meantime, you might try going to a small, hole-in-the-wall coffee shop where you can read, write, think, surf the web, people-watch, or...just stare off into the void... :)
You have so much potential, but you'll never know just how much until you attempt to find out. Create the context in which success is possible.
Cheers!
Looks like Moleskine large size cahiers on the left, and possibly Picadilly or Paperblanks on the right.
The cahiers are available a lot of places as well.
Square/graph rule
Lined
Or you can go right to the source at the Moleskine store to see all the size and color combinations.
EDIT: One of these days I'll remember Reddit markdown.