Mr. Pen- Spiky Sensory Rings, 10 Pack, Stress Relief Fidget Sensory Toys, Fidget Rings, Fidget Ring for Anxiety, Stress Relief Rings, Massager for Fidget ADHD Autism, Silent Stress Reducer Ring https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_C946XKQMDNZTNTCH9GRG
Highly recommend!
Shit, I may have put waaaay too much thought into planning my office but I have a lot of "essentials."
Objects to fidget with. A friend actually gave me some of these and I even use them myself: Mr. Pen- Spiky Sensory Rings,
I have a lot of therapy art from Etsy, all artsy looking images of the theories and techniques I am into: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, images breaking down the parts in IFS, CBT diagram. I can easily refer to these images if I am using the concepts
Mini fridge for myself but I keep bottled water in there for clients. I have a printer, too.
Plants-- bunch of plants. Totally my aesthetic and I think chills out the office. I think it helps the space feel homey, instead of sterile.
On top of fidget stuff, I have some items for grounding: play-doh, smooth stones, a weighted blanket, pillows on the couch.
Of course a sound machine.
I have tons of books that can be lent to clients.
I was really deliberate in choosing my office furniture, too. I have a pillow that says "It's okay to see a therapist" and my couch has a chaise attached. My own chair is massive--the saleswoman told me it's the best kind of chair to fit a parents and their kid for snuggling.
I am starting to see clients in person again, so need to get my office together again, or else I would show you pictures!
They always pop up when I search for autism fidget toys but these specifically are called Mr. Pen- Spiky Sensory Rings, 10 Pack, Stress Relief Fidget Sensory Toys, Fidget Rings, Fidget Ring for Anxiety, Stress Relief Rings, Massager for Fidget ADHD Autism, Silent Stress Reducer Ring https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_XAM2GDBF1WFTKHZ4TAER?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I second all of this especially the clothing part. If you pick at a place you can't cover like your face, I agree, fidget toys are great. I personally like these sensory rings a lot. My boyfriend got then for me for xmas and I thought they were weird at first but they're actually perfect. I also like tangles!
I really struggle with cuticle picking. Only thing that has helped me is buying those little wire fidget rings from Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Mr-Sensory-Anxiety-Massager-Reducer/dp/B08D3VSRFV/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=1410XYMFNDXER&keywords=wire+fidget+ring&qid=1669845193&sprefix=wire+fidget%2Caps%2C114&sr=8-3 ) and I am just constantly moving that during my triggering times (bored or anxious) to avoid picking
These rings are making a big difference for me. The difference seems to be that I can fiddle with them on my fingers, which is a little uncomfortable and seems to take the place of picking. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV?psc=1&ref=ppx\_yo2ov\_dt\_b\_product\_details
I'm new to this community thought not new to the problems we face. I just ordered these because I saw them on a blog. In the past fidget toys have done nothing for me. But these spiky rings are different. They are a little bit uncomfortable to run your fingers through, which is good, and they kind of flatten your cuticle down if puffy damaged cuticles are an issue. This is the first time I've felt like I have any hope. If I'm at the computer or watching tv, I'm running one of these up and down my fingers.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV?psc=1&ref=ppx\_yo2ov\_dt\_b\_product\_details
I just got these little wire rings, they’re sorta spiky and you can roll them down your fingers. I actually have avoided picking for three whole weeks with them!! And they’re small and subtle. Good luck!
Mr. Pen- Spiky Sensory Rings, 10... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Mr. Pen- Spiky Sensory Rings, 10 Pack, Stress Relief Fidget Sensory Toys, Fidget Rings, Fidget Ring for Anxiety, Stress Relief Rings, Massager for Fidget ADHD Autism, Silent Stress Reducer Ring https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_DH6P8S2GGJYWT8HTM6DX
Oof I do that too.. (the lip biting) for me I’m constantly drinking water and applying chapstick to try and combat the damage I do to myself lol. They make tons of fidget stuff online lemme see if I can find some, if you tend to chew at yourself a lot chew jewelry might help! Also your hair pulling habit might be trichotillomania! If you’re seeing a therapist/psych maybe talk to them about it and see if they can help? (Also found a link to some cheap fidget rings :> https://www.amazon.com/Mr-Sensory-Anxiety-Massager-Reducer/dp/B08D3VSRFV/ref=dp_fod_1?pd_rd_i=B08D3VSRFV&psc=1)
These might help a lot now that I think about it! They are metal rings that are spiky and might give a similar sensation? They are also really discreet so they would be good for school. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_ZV9MG9Q53945TM85VY1E A foot massage ball (like the muscle pain ones) might help and you could roll both your feet and hands on it. And a classic stress ball always helps, if you look up “tear resistant stress ball” that’s something you can dig your nails into. You could also dig your nails into those foam squishy toys but they might tear up.
There’s a lot of options and you’d have to kinda experiment! I have the exact same intrusive thoughts and do the same thing, so you def aren’t alone
Idk if this will help but a friend used something like these for skin picking/biting & they worked great!!
:)
These spiky sensory rings are my favorite right now: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08D3VSRFV/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I bought this for my 8 year old and I. Great ideas for fidget toys on Amazon
https://www.target.com/p/chuckle-38-roar-sensory-fidget-box-10pk/-/A-84821344
These are great as well. I fling them everywhere accidentally, but they’re still quiet Mr. Pen- Spiky Sensory Rings, 10... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I recommend these springy ‘rings’ as a place to start: they’re small, quiet, and are very tactile so they keep my fingers “entertained”!
I just posted these to another thread. These are very scratchy. I just got them and that's just how I would describe them....kind of painful but harmless.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV?psc=1&ref=ppx\_yo2ov\_dt\_b\_product\_details
These are my favorite. It helps more than anything I’ve tried.
Mr. Pen- Spiky Sensory Rings, 10... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I just got these and so far so good. My biggest issue is the skin on my thumbs.
Mr. Pen- Spiky Sensory Rings, 10... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D3VSRFV?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I just bought these funky metal rings on Amazon and they're AWESOME I bring one everywhere with me now
Hoooo boy, I will TRY to avoid my soapbox that, in the states, mental health care has financial barriers and insurance has frankly fucked it all up.
I think it will be important to develop some top notch grounding techniques for yourself. I actually use a sensory ring to discreetly play with to keep me focused at work (I have ADHD) but I also use it in class, since the program is meant to challenge you and some sexual imagery or discussions can be triggering: https://www.amazon.com/Mr-Sensory-Anxiety-Massager-Reducer/dp/B08D3VSRFV/ref=pd_lpo_1?pd_rd_i=B08D3VSRFV&psc=1
Also a great list of grounding techniques here: https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/blog/grounding101
I think it would be valuable to work your way up to full blown cuddling and determing your boundaries before. Going from nothing to arms all around a woman may overwhelming, as you stated. Have you ever heard of gradual exposure? I am not always a fan of it for trauma stuff but it can still have its value. Basically, you look at your ultimate goal and break it down into little steps. If your ultimate goal is to, say, spoon with a woman, you could start with sitting next to her on the couch. You engage in that step until you can do so without feeling overwhelmed, triggered, panicked, etc, and move to the next step. Let's say the next step is holding hand while sitting together on the couch. Work until you can tolerate that without discomfort and go to the next step.
It's wise to start with a tiny goal, that you can accomplish, because it's so important to succeed and gain momentum, as opposed to jumping right to a very distressful activity, panicking and being unable to continue, and feeling discouraged or have the fears exacerbated.
> no one's ever wanted me to feel like this before but now they do except I don't deserve this
This sounds like what cognitive behavioral therapy calls an automatic thought/cognitive distortion. I will swing back around to here, too, and add a little more to this for you, if you're interested.
>fidgeting during sessions (mine are usually playing with my hair/earrings, picking at my nails, jiggling my leg/feet)
I use discreet fidget toys for this, like these rings: https://smile.amazon.com/Mr-Sensory-Anxiety-Massager-Reducer/dp/B08D3VSRFV/ref=sr_1_6?crid=2ZROQZQLRH6E1&keywords=grounding+rings&qid=1645106776&sprefix=grounding+rings%2Caps%2C195&sr=8-6
>Disclosing ADHD up front to explain that any of the above behaviours don’t mean I’m not listening, they’re just symptoms and whether this is appropriate/necessary
I don't do this up front but if I a having a bad ADHD day, I tell my clients. Something like "I have not disclosed before that I have somewhat severe ADHD. I feel a bit more restless today so if I am fidgeting or seem more hyper, please know it is my own stuff and not any reflection on my interest in what you are exploring in session today."
I know our clients watch us closely, too, so I don't want anyone to ever misinterpret my behaviors. I give a similar spiel if I am really tired and may be less energetic.
Something like this maybe?
https://www.amazon.com/Mr-Sensory-Anxiety-Massager-Reducer/dp/B08D3VSRFV
I just got these and I love the feel of them.