I may not be in their shoes, but it's well known that people with disabilities don't want to be pitied. Here are some sources for you:
> People with disabilities also do not want to be referred to as a victim or object of pity
http://www.aucd.org/template/page.cfm?id=605
> Disability doesn't mean inability We don't need any pity
http://www.jp.onkyo.com/braille_essay/2011/as01.htm
> Adults with disabilities want to be treated as independent people
http://www.unitedspinal.org/pdf/DisabilityEtiquette.pdf
> Do not see my disability as the problem. Do not see my disability as a deficit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wunHDfZFxXw
> Experts say kids with disabilities want to be treated like other kids
And here's a book for you to read: http://www.amazon.com/No-Pity-Disabilities-Forging-Movement/dp/0812924126