Old Charlie Farquharson's Testament: Jennysez to Jobe, and After Words. It's not quite what you want, but pretty close - basically the first couple of books of the Bible put through the filter of a stereotypical Newfie. Couple of verses from Jobe, concerning the monsters mentioned above:
So you wanta put Me in the rong, jist so you can justyfie yerself. Lookit that monster, Bee-Hee-Moth. (FOOTNOTE: This is God's name fer a HyppyOptimus) Fackt is, I made him before I made you. What about Lee Vye-athan. (FOOTNOTE: Pet name for a crockydial.) I wuden advize you to try enny-thing with this feller!