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Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse?
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Give your boyfriend the book <strong>Out of the Fog</strong> as a good buy present when you break up.
His normal meter is broken. He needs to get it calibrated, which is often accomplished in therapy (or by going at least temporarily NC and surrounding himself with healthy relationships). I really recommend him checking out a book for adult children of narcissists. Out of the Fog is a good one.
There’s one called Children of the Self-Absorbed, and one called Trapped in the Mirror and Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward that are specifically for adult children of narcissists. Heres a list of others that are recommended for dealing with narcs. Some of the ones I mentioned are also on the list!
Really, he won’t be able to confidently set boundaries until he realized that their behavior is fucking inappropriate and unacceptable.
I find it interesting that you were pushed here from JustNoMIL, since my first stop was the JustNoMIL wiki, reading list.
I've also heard good things about Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse by Dana Morningstar (Author)
Just bouncing around their website might be helpful.
> DD is in therapy and we don’t tell her BM because of the freak out.
Her therapist might also have some good suggestions.
Die anderen Kommentatoren haben alles schon gesagt, wollte dir noch ein Buch ans Herz legen: https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Dana-Morningstar-ebook/dp/B077SFQWZ2/ref=nodl_
Out of the FOG. FOG steht hier für Fear, Obligation & Guilt und du beschreibst alle diese Punkte, also hilft es dir vllt.
Gibt auch eine gute Webseite wenn du nicht gleich das ganze Buch kaufen willst: https://outofthefog.website/
Yes, you can post here. You can also contact your local DV org. Part of their job is to help people answer this question.
By the by, the fog you're describing sounds like the effects of gaslighting, a form of emotional abuse.
Sounds like she is still in the F.O.G
Ugh.
That POMI feelings of shame and guilt are unfortunately rather common among JWs who've been disfellowshipped for "immorality".
The shitload of shame that the disfellowshipping discipline dumps upon "imperfect sinners" is sometimes impossible for THEM to rise above.
But that will not be your fate.
Start reading about how cults use shame to control their members. Knowledge of their techniques of manipulation will give you greater power to overcome those techniques.
By the way, almost everything that your father regurgitated in that conversation was WT indoctrination designed to crush one's spirit with feelings of shame and guilt.
https://outofthefog.website/toolbox-1/2015/11/17/fog-fear-obligation-guilt
https://www.decision-making-confidence.com/cult-tactics.html
This site, item number 6: https://michaelbluejay.com/x/how-cults-recruit.html
I haven't read this site (yet) but this article looks useful: https://www.spiritualabuseresources.com/articles/traumatic-abuse-in-cults-a-psychoanalytic-perspective
https://www.amazon.com/Out-Fog-Confusion-Clarity-Narcissistic-ebook/dp/B077SFQWZ2
Sounds like you need this book.
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