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Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts?
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Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LWA5RQU/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_11HGVSJETE2C35XD8WRV
I think this may help. Let the thoughts go. The more you try to fight or fixate, the worse the loop gets. They happen to a lot of people so please don't feel alone.
As long as you can put away the thoughts and fears, you have no problems and no disorder. If you want to learn how to handle intrusive thoughts, this book is very helpful: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU
It's just $6 for the online/Kindle version, in case you want to buy it.
Yes, I go through these phases - which also make the whole "I guess I don't really have this" shit worse.
Do you have a mental health professional? Please contact them and talk to them about this.
There are things you can do.
Alternatively - a heavily recommended book (by my mental health professional and others): https://smile.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3U7UGPLKYJF5&dchild=1&keywords=overcoming+intrusive+unwanted+thoughts&qid=1626438413&sprefix=overcoming+in%2Caps%2C183&...
So if you can't necessarily get to a medical professional because of your circumstances, this book may at least be helpful.
Maybe you have a couple more variants of anxiety in some small amounts (not sure if a psychologist would diagnose these, so take it with a pinch of salt)
> I can get compulsive thoughts randomly that scare me(a more rare occurrence but sucks when it happens)
Intrusive nagging thoughts ( This book is awesome )
> or get sleep issues where when I start to get into a relaxed state my thoughts go into a weird process where my thoughts go all over the place almost making like these weird random stories best way I try to explain it is like a dream in thought form expect I can become aware of how weird it is then it freaks me out.
Maladaptive day dreaming? ( /r/MaladaptiveDreaming/ )
> Other times I get hyper focused on something I'm worried about and freak out.
Anxiety
Do read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU
It explains OCD and intrusive thoughts really well.
Scrupulosity is a guilt disorder with a thin layer of religious clothing. I was exposed to religious judgement for a good bit of my youth. The day I realised the guilt is not true guilt but only fear of being punished, I realised what a dishonourable and disgusting disorder it really was. Essentially gaslighting and guilt-tripping me for over a decade. Pretty liberating realisation.
Dont use medicine. You dont want stuff messing with ur brain. What u need is CBT as that is the permanent solution. Read this book: its amazing
I've recommended this book a few times in this sub: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU/
What you seem to have is intrusive thoughts. I really strongly recommend that you buy this book or get a copy from somewhere:
> Myth 4: The Unconscious Mind Can Affect Actions
Myth 5: Thinking Something Makes It Likely to Happen
Myth 6: Thinking Something Makes It Unlikely to Happen
Myth 8: Every Thought Is Worth Thinking
Myth 9: Thoughts That Repeat Are Important
Weird intrusive thoughts randomly pop into everyone's head and everyone thinks crazy stuff in the background of their mind. It's a common, accepted, proven scientific fact.
This function is necessary because the brain is a computer that is tasked with saving you, looking after your interests, and helping you navigate a complex world and a social network with complex relations, rules and varying adverse results if you break the rules.
For example, if you really like a rich man's dog, you cannot go pet it immediately because the rich man doesn't like ordinary people messing around him and he could involve the cops because he is a prick, whereas a regular guy would be happy to let you pet his dog.
This set of thoughts needs to be thought out by your brain when you think about petting dogs randomly on the street. Or else you could end up hauled around by the cops because you "attempted to steal a pet" from a rich prick.
So also, the brain needs to work out what is good, what is bad, what is dangerous, what is safe and so on. It does this all the time, whether or not you are looking.
But, due to anxiety, when you are looking (idle, thinking about what you are thinking, etc) some of these background processes pop up into the visible mind and then due to fear (anxiety is a neurological disorder of excess fear), or due to your character - you being a good person - it distresses you that you could think about such crazy thoughts.
The fact that you are distressed about intrusive thoughts proves 2 things:
- that you have anxiety
- that you are a good person.
Only good people get worried about bad thoughts. Bad people enjoy and continue fantasizing bad thoughts and never worry about them, they enjoy them.
As I said, all of this is explained very well in the book. If intrusive thoughts bother you, buy the book and read it. It will help. The online version is just $10 which you can read in Firefox or Chrome or whichever browser you are using right now, or if on a mobile, there is a mobile app.
Remember you are a good person, due to which you are distressed about bad thoughts.
Good luck!
For a proper wholesome discussion of how you should handle intrusive thoughts read this book: Overcoming OCD and intrusive thoughts - book
It's really enlightening and comforting.
This therapist is amazing at explaining anxiety: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpuqYFKLkcEryEieomiAv3Q
And this therapist is also good, but her methods may sound blunt, even frightening, but they work just as well as they sound blunt: https://www.youtube.com/c/23katied/featured
I also have OCD and anxiety. I was diagnosed with OCD as a child (around 8 years old) and it “went away” but ultimately came back as an adult. Something that really helped before pregnancy was seeing a therapist. I started working with one I before I was pregnant. I continue to see my therapist every other week via Skype during my pregnancy.
I don’t know if you like to read, but there is a book called Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally Winston and Martin Sief. I’ll post the link down below (on Amazon). That book was literally life changing for me. I had intrusive thoughts constantly, and I would have to think about the thoughts a certain amount of times before I could “let it go.” There are many different types of OCD and this book helps you identify what they are, then give you ways to shut down the thoughts. It did take some work for me, but it really turned things around. I won’t say that I don’t have intrusive thoughts at all anymore, I do. With pregnancy hormones, it feels like it waxes and wanes. But I would say I’m doing a lot better 90% of the time. For me when the thoughts creep in, it’s going back to the skills I learned in the book to help remove them.
I really like those authors and their writing style/way of explaining things. They have another book, I think it’s slightly newer than the first one I linked. I purchased but haven’t worked through yet. It’s called Needing to Know for Sure. Here is the link for that one. https://www.amazon.com/Needing-Know-Sure-Overcoming-Reassurance-ebook/dp/B07MMQ7HRK
Another thing I did sometimes was listed to the OCD Stories podcast. I have an iPhone (and I’m in the US) so I found it on the Apple podcast app. There was an episode specifically on my type of OCD, and it was reassuring to hear that I wasn’t alone in this.
Asking for support/ideas is a great first step. I know that step can be hard to make.
>thank you so much for taking so much time out of your day to write a response for me, i really appreciate it. i feel like i didn’t use the phrase tingly right. i have had plenty of panic attacks that do end in a tingly feeling, but this feeling is so hard to describe. it’s like a heightened sense of awareness. so like my crush in seventh grade (he was also in seventh grade) was a real crush. like i thought about him even when i wasn’t with him and i really really liked him. but this feeling is like when i’m around a boy who looks my age i feel that i need to make myself known or catch their attention somehow. anyway it’s always been with people my age but now i’m scared that they’re been younger and i just assumed they were my age and what scares me about today was that i saw this person person who was probably was like 13 and i just walked really fast past them and tried to get my mind off of it. i keep checking back to see if i got the feeling but i’m not sure and i’m scared that if i did it makes me a creep and i feel so disgusting. i always try my hardest to be the best person and i want people to think i’m a good person and i’m so scared that i’m not and everyone in the world hates me and i’m so scared. i try so hard to be good and now i feel like i’m having an identity crisis and i want this to stop but what if it’s really me? like what if i’m disgusting and i didn’t know till last week? i’m also so scared some of these thoughts are really mine and i’m in control. some thoughts i can easily label as intrusive because they come out of nowhere. but there are others that are more quiet and i don’t catch them until a few seconds after they happen. my therapist said the latter are intrusive as well but she doesn’t specialize in ocd so what if she’s wrong? i told her in vague detail about the first thought i got about the child and she set up a safety plan. the paper i got says it’s either for when i’m thinking about hurting myself or someone else. i got really nervous here because what if she’s worried that these thoughts are really mine. i know i would never act on ANY of these thoughts but what if she thinks i does? i mean she’s the therapist. the theme i’ve been struggling for almost a year tortured me every second of the day. it attacked one of the things i care about the most in this world and i didn’t know what ocd was for like four months into it so i thought i was a monster and the relief i got when i found out was ocd was was so amazing but i don’t have that relief here so i’m so scared that it’s not really ocd. what if i’m a monster? i hate living like this i just want it to go away. i’m so sorry about this venting you don’t even have to answer this i planned on making this really short but i got carried away i’m sorry. i hope you have an amazing day
That "heightened sense of awareness" feeling you're describing is an aspect of OCD. When you have an obsessive theme, you increase your brain's alertness to anything and everything assoicated with that theme. Your brain thinks it's protecting you from danger, so it makes you hyper-alert to boys your age or younger in an effort to "protect" you - which of course - causes anxiety. The feeling of "awareness" you are describing, which may feel like attraction because it's obsessive, is not attraction. Don't try to decipher whether you are being attracted or not. In this state, OCD makes it impossible, and the "checking" you are describing only refuels OCD.
I'm so sorry that OCD has taken so much from you. No one deserves to go through what you are going through, but believe me, it will get better. I really, really think you should read the book I recommended. There's only so much therapy can do - if you're sick and tired of living like this - you have to feel it within your bones that this is enough and that you won't let OCD take any more time away from you. You have to make that decision that you've had enough, that you're fucking done living like this, even if your mind tries to convince you that you aren't worthy of love. At my lowest point, I wanted to die. For two years, everyday was torture. But I am living proof that you can get through it, heal, and emerge stronger than you ever were before. That reality may seem so far away now, but there will come a time where the suffering you went through will have served its purpose to awaken you to enjoy every life's moment now.
Please, read the book. It's the first step to healing. Also, make sure you're seeing an OCD-specialized therapist. I've attached the book below, as well as another book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, that I found extremely transformative on a deep, spiritual level. Another resource is Ali Greymond / You have OCD on youtube. She makes really amazing videos that helped me understand my mind and offer hope to the path in recovery.
https://www.youtube.com/user/YOUHAVEOCD
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LWA5RQU/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Hi there! I'm a 44 year old man, single, I have had panic disorder and OCD for over 20 years. I have a specific variant of interest to you - scrupulosity, a guilt disorder consisting of mind games based on right and wrong, moral and immoral, guilt shame and punishment. Almost as if a rogue and criminal Catholic priest was inside my mind 24x7 scaring, tempting and guilting me at the same time.
The anxiety that I have got as a result of this OCD had for a couple of years destroyed my life as a human being - depression, extreme social anxiety, did not even smile for a year straight, no job, no friends, the whole works. This was at the prime of my youth (24-25).
Then you factor in the fact that I had panic disorder too, which means every OCD trigger would lead to a panic attack.
I'm describing all these frightening details to you to establish my credentials for what I'm going to say next:
You can get out of this eventually, with a little good therapy and some medicine. You can reduce the intensity of suffering rather quickly, a matter of months. It is possible.
First, you have to understand anxiety and OCD.
Second, you have to apply therapy techniques.
Third, you have to make a support structure in your life that pulls you out of the daily minor relapses and the major relapses every few years.
Once you understand anxiety and OCD, solving them both is not complex - it is hard work, but not complex. OCD is 2x more complicated than anxiety. But there is a logical sequence (of poor logic) in both and once you identify the sequence, you can side-step it.
The very first immediate step I would advise is to buy 2 books and watch a few videos. Please buy the books ASAP. (or get them from the internet if you cannot afford them right now).
Therapy is absolutely essential to start recovery, so please see a therapist ASAP
Books:
Videos: 1. Understand anxiety
Finally:
Stay in touch, I can help to a limited extent.
Good luck!
This is a standard signature, like in web forums.
Superfast therapy for anxiety and panic:
Fear is meant to be your friend and to protect you, so if it starts hurting, it defeats its own purpose. Don't let it be like that. Make friends with your cautioning brain. Magic words to constantly repeat: Stop / wait / hold / no / safe / slow; slow down, then slow down some more; look around; there are always options; it's OK, I'm OK; discomfort is not danger, what you think is danger is actually only discomfort; symptoms of nerve defect not really danger; there is no danger; you are safe; there is safety; don't bully yourself, don't threaten yourself, don't caution yourself; bullying yourself does not solve anything, it creates more problems; excitement is bad, peaceful is good; why hurt yourself; inanimate objects don't have mind of their own; things cannot be predators; situations don't have mind or purpose; shit happens with everyone; nobody's plans work out; life happens; people are not always wise; repeat trauma is stupid; play stupid games, win stupid prizes; support yourself, love yourself, be gentle with yourself; don't be a predator, be peaceful; don't turn everything into combat; take a step back and pause; imaginary is virtual, not real, and does not exist outside your head; breathe deep and breathe slowly, relax your body; go with the flow; thoughts come, let them pass; you're allowed to say "pass, next" to your thoughts; thoughts are not special or great; absolutely everyone thinks weird stuff without exceptions; your brain needs to think weird stuff to identify it as weird; repeat trauma is self-harm, so why?; if the danger is inanimate, it is harmless; anxiety is all lies, repeated, convoluted, thorough and convincing lies. Slow is safe, fast is danger. Think slow, act slow; the right amount of fear is Eustress, anything more is waste; Fear is not safety; The ultimate truth is benign; The universe is not against you, it just is; Humans are evolved animals, so keep the bar low and forgive others and yourself often.
Everything needed (apart from medication) to reduce anxiety by 80-90% is in here (it's quite a bit and it takes time, but it is worth it):
Symptoms, not danger | Repeat these Magic Words | Happiness is a biological obligation | Repetition Compulsion | Understand anxiety | Understand OCD | Triune brain = human+mammal+reptile | Triune Brain, Dissocation, Neural Pathways | Handle panic | anxiety is sneaky | example of recovery | Identify bad beliefs | Trauma and freezing | Structure of Anxiety | Anxiety Game | love yourself | change the narrative | stop self-hate | emotional hygiene | Dr. Claire Weekes' book | Overcoming OCD and intrusive thoughts - book | Healthy vs anxious | Essential self-care in anxiety, depression, isolation, loneliness | mental version of Jacobson PMR | Flagging anxiety and panic - Dr. Harry Barry | Depression is a severe malfunction of a useful mechanism
Just started reading https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LWA5RQU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_TdU3FbNHEP6A7 which is the first place I have seen the "wise mind" term. Only thru the first two chapters but has been a good grounding book for me so far.
Here’s the book read the product description but there’s help for different type of intrusive thoughts and how to help yourself :)
There are 9 myths listed in the book Overcoming Intrusive thoughts and a couple of them deal with how certain uncomfortable thoughts are as natural as breathing, but people with anxiety focus on those and tend to give them importance.
It's a great book, very friendly, comforting and enlightening.
Free will is an illusion. All our thoughts can be traced back to external sources and processing picked from external observations.
Decisions you take today are based on preferences you chose idly some time way in the past, often randomly on a whim, or by being influenced by a person, book or movie/show.
Very few of our decisions are logical and objective. Most of our thoughts are the brain's way of processing our surroundings.
We are not at all in control, might as well flow and let thoughts be, while we live happily in their company, but believing them or being affected by them.
The Flow philosophy is very enlightening:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtGtqmC5wU4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-F319b5SuQ
In fact that whole channel is amazing: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCybBViio_TH_uiFFDJuz5tg
Beyond the obvious of med issues...
What is your sleep quality like? Do you have bright lights on during late night hours do you stare into a screen late at night a lot? Sleep Light, Darkness and Mood - PsychEducation CBT-IB: a sleep focused therapy - PsychEducation Dark therapy - Wikipedia Dark Therapy - PsychEducation
Secondly have you practiced mindfulness and distress tolerance skills before? Sometimes we create an anxiety disorder and racing thoughts because we are disturbed by our thoughts, which sends a signal to our brain that these are indeed important things to worry about, and then you have several running parallel loops. It can help to just sit and observe them and not react to them and just watch them go, and they lose power. Like this
Look inside and read the first parts and see that resonates.
Can find that book here.
Also this guy explains things well
Have you tried breathing exercises? To calm yourself, simply try breathing out about twice as much as you breathe in. So breathe out and hold for roughly 4 count breathe in for roughly 2 count, not forcing it or being exact just listen to your body.
Do short segments of study and then break and do some breathing exercises or yoga for a short segment and go back
Check this article to see if there are any hints you could use to structure your day or lifestyle.
Interpersonal and social rhythm therapy - Wikipedia
Maybe with change of routine with weird new reality of how schooling is done you can see from that article how it is adding extra biological rhythm stressors, and find a way to influence yourself towards stability.
Hope you feel better soon and find something that works!
Of course, it's quite logical.
Follow the inner monologue of your inner mind:
Panic is dangerous. Panic can come at any time. Panic is a danger that cannot be slept upon, it is sneaky predator that can attack at any time. Therefore the only logical way is to face it now and solve it permanently! So, bringing back panic in 3..2..1 .. BOOM! Now solve it, so that we can relax later.
(2 minutes later)
How the heck did I get into a panic attack, again ??!
Oh yes, I decided to think about it! What an idiot I am!
Next time I will make sure to never think about panic attacks because if I do, I will get another panic attack.
Isn't this what we all do?
There's one major major logic flaw in the above sequence that makes the whole mountain of panic collapse quickly -
panic attacks are neither fatal nor dangerous. They are just frightening. Nothing more.
They are a misfiring, overtuned, fear response full of excess overflowing combat juices and adrenaline.
The simple question to ask your about-to-panic mind is this: How many times before have I died in a panic attack?
Did I see the next day after the previous panic attack?
If yes, then by all schools of logic and all of human thought and wisdom in all of the planet's existence, panic is not a fatal thing. Clearly. Demonstrated not once, but many many times over. If panic were fatal, I would be dead long ago. But here I am, alive and breathing, and not too shy of admitting, having even enjoyed good meals and youtube videos in the past few days. See? Panic is not dangerous it is merely frightening, because it is all the fear juices combined in a massive torrent. So, then how does one go about preventing the burning black fear deluge?
(Note that you just changed the entire narrative from not dying to not being extremely uncomfortable. This is the biggest step.)
Videos from an expert:
How to find first relief : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Un_Ykh9y9Q
How to repeat the exercise and train to dial down the panic permanently, over time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ze9mfIBn62E
An important milestone in recovery is when you stop solving the immediate fake-dangerous problem today and postpone it to tomorrow.
Postpone, ignore, give up, observe. Postpone some more. Promise yourself to fix the panic problem tomorrow . Repeat this promise every day. Neat little kindergarten level trick, works like a charm on the animal mind. Try it.
You will be amazed how powerful an ally procrastination-at-will can be in fighting panic and anxiety.
But do not engage, fight or flee (avoidance is the bulk of the generalized anxiety disorder).
If other intrusive thoughts trouble you, buy this book, it's a life-saver: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU
It will be the best $10 you've ever spent in your life
This is a standard signature, like in web forums.
Superfast therapy for anxiety and panic:
Fear is meant to be your friend and to protect you, so if it starts hurting, it defeats its own purpose. Don't let it be like that. Make friends with your cautioning brain. Magic words to constantly repeat: Stop / wait / hold / no / safe / slow; slow down, then slow down some more; look around; there are always options; it's OK, I'm OK; discomfort is not danger, what you think is danger is actually only discomfort; symptoms of nerve defect not really danger; there is no danger; you are safe; there is safety; don't bully yourself, don't threaten yourself, don't caution yourself; bullying yourself does not solve anything, it creates more problems; excitement is bad, peaceful is good; why hurt yourself; inanimate objects don't have mind of their own; things cannot be predators; situations don't have mind or purpose; shit happens with everyone; nobody's plans work out; life happens; people are not always wise; repeat trauma is stupid; play stupid games, win stupid prizes; support yourself, love yourself, be gentle with yourself; don't be a predator, be peaceful; don't turn everything into combat; take a step back and pause; imaginary is virtual, not real, and does not exist outside your head; breathe deep and breathe slowly, relax your body; go with the flow; thoughts come, let them pass; you're allowed to say "pass, next" to your thoughts; thoughts are not special or great; absolutely everyone thinks weird stuff without exceptions; your brain needs to think weird stuff to identify it as weird; repeat trauma is self-harm, so why?; if the danger is inanimate, it is harmless; anxiety is all lies, repeated, convoluted, thorough and convincing lies.
Everything needed (apart from medication) to reduce anxiety by 80-90% is in here (it's quite a bit and it takes time, but it is worth it):
Symptoms, not danger | Repeat these Magic Words | Happiness is a biological obligation | Repetition Compulsion | Understand anxiety | Understand OCD | Triune brain = human+mammal+reptile | Triune Brain, Dissocation, Neural Pathways | Handle panic | anxiety is sneaky | example of recovery | Identify bad beliefs | Trauma and freezing | Structure of Anxiety | Anxiety Game | love yourself | change the narrative | stop self-hate | emotional hygiene | Dr. Claire Weekes' book | Overcoming OCD and intrusive thoughts - book | Healthy vs anxious | Essential self-care in anxiety, depression, isolation, loneliness | mental version of Jacobson PMR | Flagging anxiety and panic - Dr. Harry Barry | Depression is a severe malfunction of a useful mechanism
I've had scrupulosity, which religious OCD for over 2 decades. I'm 44. Church-type crap. Sin and guilt. The entire spectrum of gaslighting. And I have recovered, gotten relapses and now finally recovered almost completely. So I have definite authority to tell you how to fix this.
OCD is an anxiety disorder. Anxiety is the fear of grave danger in imaginary circumstances. There is bullying voice in the back of his mind warning him or deathly danger if he does not do a particular thing. In short he has an internal manipulator who constantly bullies him, lies to him, frightens him and threatens him with all kinds of deadly consequences. None of those threats ever materialise because they are imaginary. But the fear is so much and the bully process is so vivid and strong that he is forced to believe that it might be real danger. Constant fear, constantly being blackmailed and extorted in the form of needing to perform a particular action in order to satisfy the inner bully and to get himself off the hook and be forgiven by the bully process.
There are excellent videos about how to recover from OCD, but it takes time and application. It is important that the sufferer be given unconditional love and obvious affection by caregivers.
First, he must be taught to speak to the bully, talk back, rebel, ignore and then ultimately win over the bully by forgiveness and love. But first he has to come into a position of strength in order to love and forgive the bullying mind. For that ignoring, rebelling and disobeying the bully is important.
Basically it's like dealing with any other bully, except this bully knows exactly what you are deeply secretly scared of and will ruthlessly pounce on exactly that set of fears. So you have to call the bully's bluff repeatedly. Then you have to challenge the bully to come up with a real believable threat and learn to laugh at the bully.
This entire process is the first half of recovery - getting into a strong position where you know the bully is nutcase and a broken record and you can ignore it.
The second half is realising that the bully is part of your own mind and therefore, it is inevitable that you have to negotiate, understand and finally forgive the bully out of compassion.
In all this, the power that drives the whole cycle is anxiety, pure fear.
It is important to understand both Anxiety and OCD and see how they are linked and the psychological structure of disorder in order to slowly get it to fade out and be replaced with sunshine instead of darkness, and hope instead of fear and love instead of evil.
The following are some resources I have gathered over the past year in recovering from a severe relapse. They might seem too much to take in at once. Given that you are probably a teenager yourself, this may or may not all make sense, but try to get him to read through all this.
Please get him to invest at least several hours every week in the following.
These are the things he simply must do to recover from OCD:
Buy these books. Mandatory:
Overcoming OCD and intrusive thoughts - book
Flagging anxiety and panic - Dr. Harry Barry
Watch these videos at least Mandatory :
Visit a therapist or psychologist Mandatory :
While there are countless exceptional resources online, it is mandatory to present yourself to a therapist and get a real world perspective on recovery.
Some personal observations (optional, as I'm not an expert, but several people tell me it clicks with them):
Triune Brain, Dissocation, Neural Pathways
Happiness is a biological obligation
Here is a really good therapist on youtube, who really understands mental disorders and has very insightful and useful content: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpuqYFKLkcEryEieomiAv3Q
Above all else, I want to assure you that living with OCD is very much manageable, depending on the particular obsession / compulsion. And if you put in the effort to understand the disorder, recovery within a few months is also common.
We now understand OCD like never before, and more importantly, this knowledge is moving out into the open from closed therapist offices and psychology books. Recovery is common. And there is no reason to deprive yourself of recovery and sanity in this age of open access to mental health information.
Good luck!
This is a standard signature, like in web forums.
Superfast therapy for anxiety and panic:
Fear is meant to be your friend and to protect you, so if it starts hurting, it defeats its own purpose. Don't let it be like that. Make friends with your cautioning brain. Magic words to constantly repeat: Stop / wait / hold / no / safe / slow; slow down, then slow down some more; look around; there are always options; it's OK, I'm OK; discomfort is not danger, what you think is danger is actually only discomfort; symptoms of nerve defect not really danger; there is no danger; you are safe; there is safety; don't bully yourself, don't threaten yourself, don't caution yourself; bullying yourself does not solve anything, it creates more problems; excitement is bad, peaceful is good; why hurt yourself; inanimate objects don't have mind of their own; things cannot be predators; situations don't have mind or purpose; shit happens with everyone; nobody's plans work out; life happens; people are not always wise; repeat trauma is stupid; play stupid games, win stupid prizes; support yourself, love yourself, be gentle with yourself; don't be a predator, be peaceful; don't turn everything into combat; take a step back and pause; imaginary is virtual, not real, and does not exist outside your head; breathe deep and breathe slowly, relax your body; go with the flow; thoughts come, let them pass; you're allowed to say "pass, next" to your thoughts; thoughts are not special or great; absolutely everyone thinks weird stuff without exceptions; your brain needs to think weird stuff to identify it as weird; repeat trauma is self-harm, so why?; if the danger is inanimate, it is harmless; anxiety is all lies, repeated, convoluted, thorough and convincing lies.
Everything needed (apart from medication) to reduce anxiety by 80-90% is in here (it's quite a bit and it takes time, but it is worth it):
Symptoms, not danger | Repeat these Magic Words | Happiness is a biological obligation | Repetition Compulsion | Understand anxiety | Understand OCD | Triune brain = human+mammal+reptile | Triune Brain, Dissocation, Neural Pathways | Handle panic | anxiety is sneaky | example of recovery | Identify bad beliefs | Trauma and freezing | Structure of Anxiety | Anxiety Game | love yourself | change the narrative | stop self-hate | emotional hygiene | Dr. Claire Weekes' book | Overcoming OCD and intrusive thoughts - book | Healthy vs anxious | Essential self-care in anxiety, depression, isolation, loneliness | mental version of Jacobson PMR | Flagging anxiety and panic - Dr. Harry Barry | Depression is a severe malfunction of a useful mechanism
Hey! I struggle with the exact same thing. I'm in my late 20s and have been dealing with this since high school; it really sucks, I know. I agree with a lot of the comments here, but I also wanted to suggest that you check out the book <em>Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts</em>. This book has helped me so much in regards to these sorts of thoughts, and I highly recommend it. I know the thoughts can be embarrassing and that is exactly what I dealt with, and is exactly why we can wind up feeling so alone with our thoughts: "Man, that was such a crazy thought! Surely no one else has thoughts like these! I must be a crazy/bad/evil person just for even having such a thought pop into my head." This is why I spent years just thinking I was totally awful, and not having a clue just how common this actually is. When we obsess over these thoughts, we allow them to define us.
What you need to realize (and what this book will help you with) is that everyone gets random weird/bad thoughts. The difference between a normal response to it and an OCD response, is that your average person thinks "Wow, that was a wild one, lol" and shrugs it off & goes about their day. Whereas someone like us (me anyways) thinks "Oh my gosh! I can't believe I had that thought! What does it mean? What does it say about me as a person???"
Basically, we let the thoughts get "stuck," and play them over and over again in our minds, which certainly doesn't help us. If it's a weird "urge" or fear that you might doing something bad—even if it would be totally out of character for you to do so—you start wondering if it's maybe more than that, and if it's actually a deep-down desire of yours. I am here to tell you that it is not. What you must remind yourself of is that the fact that you are so disturbed by these thoughts, means you know they are bad, and if anything it actually shows that you have a good conscience and good morals. Because if you really wanted these things and were just a terribly evil person across the board, you wouldn't feel guilt about them; you wouldn't feel troubled by them. You would relish them and the chance to live them out, whatever they are.
Obviously, from a spiritual perspective I would not be at all surprised if these thoughts are tied to demonic attacks. Not necessarily the thoughts themselves, per se, but more so the reaction that we have to them: the endless doubting and questioning of ourselves, feeling like we're beyond God's reach. Feel free to PM me anytime if you ever want to chat more about this or have any questions about my own experience (or even the exact thoughts I've had) over the years! I'll pray for you, though. God bless!
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