Judgments are pretty much in, but I'm going to point out interpersonal and tech solutions. You let everything build up for way too long until you felt justified doing what you did. Honestly, absent a tech solution, I would've gone with a three-strikes system: Three strikes and he's "out": You'll do it to him at some point. Three "out"s and it's game over: The dishwasher gets replaced with more cabinet space or broken-washer-as-drying-rack. with washing dishes becoming his chore to do.
If you don't want to do any of that, you can hold the keys to the devices in question: https://www.amazon.com/Remote-PDU-Power-Switch-Controlled/dp/B01LYXSB5A (no benefit to me, so buy wherever you want; it's just the first thing that shows in a web search). Another solution would be one of those cheap power-switch-on-during certain hours things. Just program the two devices to be unpowered from 5 to 7 am daily.
This box will give you the phone control you want:
https://www.amazon.com/Remote-PDU-Power-Switch-Controlled/dp/B01LYXSB5A
But it can't handle the amperage of an engine heater.
So if you used its output to drive a pair of 20A relays :
https://www.amazon.com/Functional-Devices-RIB2401B-Enclosed-Relay/dp/B000LEUJU6
you'd be good to go.