Happy birthday! I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. I love getting lost in coloring books. It's very therapeutic to color. Have a podcast, audiobook, or music in the background. Light some candles and have a glass of wine (or whatever your preferred vice is 😊).
For anyone who needs this as badly as I do, here it is
Pop Manga Cute and Creepy Coloring Book https://www.amazon.com/dp/1984858491/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_MWmcGb0XB6206?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Camilla d'errico is absolutely amazing. She has the best coloring books link
You can get it on Amazon.