Very well said. I highly, highly recommend this book. It is through conversations with sex offenders. It is hard to read at parts but it is such an important read. It’s a little dated (I read it back in 2008 I believe), but still incredibly relevant.
>He was with his wife since she was 17 and he was 25.
That's not a sign of anything. 17 is legal in a lot of places, and he married the girl. There's nothing to indicate that relationship was predatory in any way, especially if he didn't try to isolate her from friends and family.
That doesn't mean darker things didn't lurk there, but the wife saying in the aftermath she didn't know who she was married to after their last conversation leads me to think he was - or at least tried to maintain the appearance of being - a decent person to her throughout most of their relationship.
>His catgirl army.
There's no reason that couldn't have just been a fun thing. Lots of companies and content creators do that kind of thing. When it's all consensual fun with people 18 or older, it's not a problem. You wouldn't know, without taking a close look at it, whether all the catgirls were 18 and above or not.
It's worth noting, to, a lot of great people have a pervy side. Again, I don't see the problem, if they're indulging consensually with adults. A tertiary issue is whether his wife knew about the catgirl army and what she thought, but how much could any of us learn about that sitting on the sidelines when it was happening? You'd have had to have been in the thick of it to see anything that could have tipped you off.
>The one time he posted lolicon on his tumblr.
Eh, lolicon is cringey, but it's drawn pornography of underage girls. It doesn't involve real people, and you can't tell anything about what someone might actually do based on whether they like it.
If you talk to hentai viewers in general, you'll find a lot of them either aren't attracted to real women, or things that appeal to them in hentai would disgust them in real life.
If there were evidence he was sending inappropriate material to young girls, that's another story entirely. Then his "personal preference" becomes grooming material, and indicates that he wants the stuff he looks at to be more than just a fantasy.
Him being a pedophile is probably the shakiest part of the accusations leveled at him. At the very least, it doesn't look like he went after anyone who was prepubescent. He might've been into younger teens, but without other people coming forward, it's impossible to say.
It's not unlikely there's a treasure trove of sins we'd find if we somehow had absolute knowledge of his actions, but even assuming the very worst about him, it seems he was either cowardly or discerning enough to avoid situations that would easily land him in prison or get him added to the sex offender registry if they were uncovered. Even the stuff we know about would've been hard to prosecute, even if it came out when something could've been done.
Either he destroyed the evidence of his worst deeds before he pulled the trigger, or there isn't much to be known outside of what we've got. Either way, it's not our business past this point, and that knowledge wouldn't help the living in any discernible way.
>The speech one of the girls gave at his funeral that came off like he was grooming her as well under the pretense of being her friend.
That has to be the strongest piece of evidence right there. (Which, it's unfortunate it wasn't widely known until he died.)
He had a cutesy nickname for her. He made her feel like she was the center of the universe whenever he had the chance. He knew how to make her fall in love with him, and she did. It looks like he died right around the point she'd have done anything for him, anything he asked.
What you have there is someone who had inappropriate contact with a minor (or at least, an immature individual) that skirted just far enough over the line of being friendly to raise red flags but was restrained enough that people who wanted to think better of him could easily rationalize it, and he'd left himself plenty of room to pull back if anyone got too nosy.
That's exactly how predators operate. When trying to sniff one out, you don't look at just one or two things. The dumb ones do just one or two things, and they're easily caught and hauled away. The most dangerous ones know how to not just win a target's trust, but the trust of everyone surrounding them. They know how to make themselves appear like the kind of person who would never do the horrible thing their victim is accusing them of, assuming their efforts to silence the victim fails.
Grooming, contrary to popular belief, has nothing to do with pedophilia. It's simply the process wherein you wear down a person's defenses by being a purely positive influence in their lives. Once they trust you, you get them to tell you something shameful they wouldn't tell anyone else, or you get them to do something with you that they regret doing.
It's called trauma bonding, and once you've lured someone into a situation like that, they're going to feel like you're the only one they can share their secret with, and it drastically reduces the odds a victim is going to report what happened to family members or to law enforcement.
I can absolutely believe JewWario groomed people, and that he put his focus on teenage girls and emotionally immature adults because they'd be most susceptible to an older man's charms.
If what you're looking for is knowledge that will help you spot predators in the future, I'd say pay close attention to the people around them.
Is the suspected predator inappropriately friendly with people much younger than them, or are they too intimate with people who aren't their spouse?
Does anyone seem head-over-heels in love with the suspected predator, and if so, is the suspected predator responding appropriately? (IE, creating distance between him/herself and teenager who has a crush on them.)
If you think someone is a victim, does said victim go through a sudden mood change that seems related to the suspected predator?
If you think someone is a victim, do they still have healthy ties to their friends and family, or have they been focusing increasingly on the suspected predator at the expense of their other relationships?
Does the suspected predator lavish gifts on potential targets, say, buying obscure (and expensive) nerdy merchandise, new computers, etc.?
In Marie's case, if Justin had just greeted her with "Happy Birthday!" when she entered his stream, I'd think nothing of it. Stopping the whole shebang to sing it to her... It makes me shiver.
See, somebody failed to groom me when I was 15-16. Funny enough, it was a dude on a porn recovery forum. I went there because I'd started watching porn at a very young age and, being the good Christian boy I was, it tore me apart.
He was incredibly encouraging to me at the start. He praised my intelligence, my talents. Saw a lot of good in me. He's not the only one who did, but I came from an abusive home, so the attention and approval of an older male figure who knew my shameful secrets, man, that's the best I'd ever felt up to that point.
He started sending me gifts. Money in an envelope. That new Christian Rock CD I was talking about getting. Said he was gonna start a new website, new ministry, and he wanted me to be a part of it.
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, he pivoted toward saying things that made me feel terrible. He presented himself as a great person, and me, I bought it hook, line and sinker. So when he expressed disappointment, valid or not, it struck me right through the heart.
He wanted me to get on the phone with him. I was deeply uneasy about it. He wore me down. I caved, and gave him my number.
Then the next day I got word from someone else in his "ministry" that he'd been arrested for soliciting sex from an underage boy.
When I watch that clip of "Kitty" Marie, I see somebody who dodged a bullet more or less the same way I did, except she got to hold onto her illusions about Justin for a while. Hate to think how the truth hit her after all this time.
There's no surefire way to tell who's a predator and who isn't short of catching them in the act, but your best chance is to look for people who seem like saints and have a lot of quiet, broken, and/or naive people closely connected to them.
I'd also highly recommend reading Predators by Anna C. Salter, one of the best books on sexual predators ever released.
It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users. I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click!
Here is link number 1 - Previous text "one"
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You want me to Google search for you? Fine.
https://www.amazon.com/Predators-Pedophiles-Rapists-Other-Offenders/dp/0465071732
https://www.ualberta.ca/folio/2020/08/researchers-reveal-patterns-of-sexual-abuse-in-religious-settings.html This is Canadian, but their religious nuts arent too different from their neighbors to the south.
Also, Republicans block all legislation to further protect child from sex crimes.
You might wish to take a look at this book.