Read this book https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SA4ZTWM/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
I was involved with one of these women and it took me 2 years to recover from the emotional abuse. And it is abuse. All the red flags we're there from the beginning, but somehow I allowed myself to get sucked in and even got engaged to her. Now she's claiming we were never engaged or even in a relationship at all upon other lies so she can not return my ring to me, which is a family heirloom.
> Someone please help. Has anyone been in this situation? I feel like I’m going to throw up.
Your ex sounds like a narcissist. I recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SA4ZTWM/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
We often feel conflicting emotions after breaking up with a narcissistic ex, and watch them sail off into the sunset, almost as if none of it happened. How could they get away with this? how can they go off and find happiness?
He's not happy. It's all an illusion. It's all fake. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can find peace and move on.
>Could I really just be that stupid despite being intelligent?
This is something I struggled with, leaving an abusive relationship. I always thought of myself as smart, but here I was somehow in this situation. I was a teacher at the time and had a crisis wondering if I was too stupid to be responsible for children if apparently I could let this happen to myself. What helped me a lot was reading books specifically about healing from narcissistic abuse. It helped me see how my own good qualities and intelligence had been used against me, and that being abused isn't about being stupid. Usually, it happens because you're very kind and empathetic, and try to find the best in people, and try to admit your own flaws, and try to work on yourself. These are great qualities to have, and it's not your fault if someone figures out how to use them against you.
I also wonder how often he calls you dumb or makes you feel dumb. You quoted him talking about your mental capacities.
This is one book that helped me - it is not particularly kind about people with personality disorders, but if your kindness is how he is trapping you, perhaps some unkindness may be helpful. https://www.amazon.com/Psychopath-Free-Expanded-Emotionally-Relationships-ebook/dp/B00SA4ZTWM/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?dchild=1&keywords=Narcissist&qid=1599308217&sr=8-12