I've (42HLM) been seeing a counselor for about 8 months to work on communication, particularly around sex. I had really high hopes that the counselor would allow for a back-and-forth dialog. It did not really go as planned. My wife (42LLF) just shut down like she normally does. I tried, as before, to bring up topics as gently as possible. Even with professional help to raise concerns, wants, desires, needs in the best way possible she was frequently unable to listen. Counselor told me in an individual session that wife was emotionally immature and needed a lot of work. I think she has a lot of fears about various things, including some trauma as a young child.
I've since given up, at least for the time being, in trying to suggest new things. I offered to stop couples counseling because I thought I got what I needed, i.e., an opportunity to do everything I can to better our communication. I told wife that I'll keep going if she wants to. We've kept going for about a month, but I bite my tongue to not raise sex issues or other concerns. Doing so over and over again brought me to an emotional low. I wish I realized sooner that she was not going to change any time soon. Maybe the same is true for your wife.
I'd recommend against repeating the same requests week after week and achieving little other than anxiety about why things aren't changing. Everyone's situation is different, but if your wife does not want to change you can't make her. I've found out that my wife does not want to change. I've accepted that but am hopeful that things may change in the future, though I'm not counting on that.
I read this book recently, but wish I did so earlier: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Acceptance-Secret-Happy-Lasting-ebook/dp/B01HMXRY74/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=radical+acceptance&qid=1624466256&s=digital-text&sr=1-3
Besides accepting my wife, this book helped me realize that I can be a better husband. That pays dividends by itself. The book is not about being a doormat, but about being the best person you can. That, in turn, will help your spouse be the best person they can be, accepting that no one is perfect.
>... I just want to accept what I have and where I’m at and just be okay with it. My therapist did not give me any tools on how to get to radical acceptance.
I haven't read this book, but it looks good from the reviews and blurb.
https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Acceptance-Secret-Happy-Lasting-ebook/dp/B01HMXRY74/
Did your therapist do CBT or one of the newer therapies such as ACT or mindfulness? The techniques from any of these could be adapted for radical acceptance.