no problem man, not having a dad can leave you really confused with a lot of questions. But it makes you stronger. You're at an age where a boy really needs a father. I would suggest reading the book Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William Pollack.
My mom read it to help raise me because my dad wouldn't step up. It covers many if not all the questions you have regarding the topic.
Good luck man, you're still young, don't let your father issues plague you later in life. Deal with it now, come to terms with it, and enjoy life.
Please don't feel like you have to stop with hugs and cuddles, that can be more harmful. But you don't have to take my word for it, read this book: Real Boys, here is a link: https://www.amazon.com/Real-Boys-Rescuing-Myths-Boyhood/dp/0805061835