What is Reddit's opinion of Reclaim Your Life: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in 7 Weeks?

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

I don't really have the energy for anger. I feel disappointment and shame, though.

I am practicing putting that disappointment and shame were it belongs: on my abuser for making the decision to abuse me, again and again. He is the one who failed us. ACT has been really useful to me.

Tips on breaking a trauma bond

Tips on unlearning his gaslighting

ACT with a therapist or workbook

Trauma-informed therapy

DV support group

Talk to a DV advocate

Journal

Write a list of every mean, hurtful, upsetting, cruel, manipulative, or otherwise abuse thing he's said and done to you and refer back to it as necessary

Foster healthy relationships (including platonic ones)

Foster your own life, such as making time for hobbies, adding exercise to your day, and/or focusing on career goals

Sounds like it's important to work on filling your life with joy again. What can you do?

• Attend trauma-informed therapy
• Sign up for a class through your local library or community college to learn a new skill
• Take up old hobbies
• Try new hobbies
• Join a hobby group (see meetup.com or facebook)
• Go to local events in the city (check facebook or your local radio station websites)
• Talk to your friends
• Volunteer
• Get a job/change jobs
• Join a physical exercise commitment (ninja gym, martial arts, spin, dance, etc.)

Isolation is a maladaptive coping mechanism. Rumination is an unhealthy technique. ACT can help rumination.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!

Do you have any safe friends/family you can talk to and lean on?

Do you have a DV support group you can attend to get support in navigating this exhausting time?

Do you have a trauma-informed therapist you're processing with? Are you learning ACT or DBT with them?

Court can feel so all-consuming. Are you building up other parts of your life? Have you re-invested in hobbies, picked new skills to learn, fostered new experiences (going to museums, traveling, taking a surfing lesson, gone bungee jumping, etc.), taken up volunteering, exercise/move your body regularly, or anything like that? How about your self-care? Do you do anything dedicated just to self-care (therapy, spa days, self-massage, long baths, meditation, stretching)?

You've got this. <3

I'm interested in this sentence "I should get more therapy but I know what I'm doing". What is it that you know you're doing? Sounds like you've resigned yourself to never escaping, but I promise you, there are dozens and dozens and dozens of us on here who are proof that you can. It's okay to need help. I would suggest you get back in trauma-informed therapy, attend a DV support group, work on breaking the trauma bond, learn ACT/DBT to deal with the trauma bond and gaslighting if your therapist doesn't help you with these (for example, here's a list of things to do as a part of DBT instead of calling him), and make a safety plan for escaping.

Just because we (think we) know what we're doing doesn't mean we can't benefit from help! I spent 10 years thinking I knew what I was doing when I was really hurting myself by denying and suppressing my feelings instead of facing them. I knew what I had to do, but that didn't actually help me overcome my suicidal ideation or depression or process my trauma. I needed help and guidance to get there.

Thinking of you. Best of luck.

Yep, this is exactly what abuse/gaslighting does.

Unlearning that gaslighting tips can help.

There are tons of "Gaslighting Recovery Workbooks" you can try.

Trauma-informed therapy is an excellent step. If not therapy, then ACT or DBT skills will be extremely useful.

A DV support group wouldn't be bad (community is usually helpful!).

You got this. You deserve to love yourself and be happy with yourself.

In the meantime while you wait for a therapy appointment/your next therapy appointment (which I definitely think you need), anxiety management includes:

• Grounding exercises
• Acceptance &amp; Commitment Therapy
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy
• EFT/Tapping
• Attend a DV support group, as your anxiety is brought on by abuse trauma

There are SO many healthy food subscription options right now, including prep-your-own, ready-to-cook, and re-heat only. I used a lot of these options to help out my friends (who are both neurodivergent) after they had their baby and had even less time to learn how to cook, and they worked really well. GreenChef, Freshly, Fresh'n'Lean, Hungry Root, SnapKitchen, HelloFresh, Trifecta Nutrition, etc. And they're very customizable with regards to dietary restrictions. There's even things like Daily Harvest for smoothies, breakfasts, and snacks and UrthBox for snacks and drinks. I suggest signing up for one of them and just letting them take care of meals for you for the most part. For myself, I also like to keep easy fruits around (apples, grapes, bananas, raisins, dried mango - you can also buy a lot of things like melon in precut packages) to snack on for a healthier snack. I tried to keep some veggies (carrots, broccoli, tomatoes) and hummus on hand, too, but I don't like the taste of many raw veggies, so I do this less often.

I also suggest setting recurring alarms on your phone as reminders to eat. Start getting into a routine where you save energy so that you can eat on a more consistent basis. Weight is like 80 - 90% diet and portion control, so this is gonna be the most important thing for you to tackle. And keep in mind that the body will cling to and store fat when you're starving, as that's going to keep you alive longer than saving muscle. So not eating when you don't have the energy, while totally logical, is mostly resulting in wrecking havoc with your metabolism and ability to lose weight.

I see in your comments, you also do some emotional eating (honestly, is there anybody that doesn't do this?), so working on developing other adaptive ways to deal with those bad feelings is also a great idea. Can you journal about your feelings instead? Implement ACT or DBT techniques to confront your feelings? Listen to a song you love? Cuddle with a pet or stuffed animal? Indulge in a favorite book? Light a great smelling candle? Sit in the bath and fill it with warm water?

For exercising, can you focus on ways of moving your body that are less strenuous so that you're not immediately overwhelmed when you do have the energy to do a workout and end up sore? A walk around the block every other day. Yoga (Big &amp; Bold or Every Body). The Fitness Marshall is hilarious and he uploads every dance workout as just the single song. Could you tackle just one song a day? Maybe tai chi would be good for you. Scheduling helps me do things more reliably, so maybe that's worth a shot for you? Start small and work your way up. Maybe start with a goal of walking around your block every Sunday at 2 pm for 4 weeks. After 4 weeks, that goes up to every Sunday at 2 pm and every Wednesday at 5 pm for 6 weeks. Etc. Make a plan. Give yourself recovery time and time to ease into your final goal.

But honestly (speaking as someone with depression as well), focusing on managing your depression first and foremost will help the other things come into line. If the reason your depression is untreated is due to accessibility/affordability, here's tips on accessing free or low-cost therapy and mental health resources. What you're doing right now is basically fighting a straight 90 degree gradient trying to overcome your depression by... just overcoming your depression. :<

As for the clothes, I know it can be costly if you don't know how to sew yourself... but getting some things sent to the tailor to fit your actual, specific measurements might really help you out here. Clothes look best on us when they are actually fitted (which can be a bigger fit! but I just mean meant for our exact size). It's expensive, but if StitchFix carries your size, it might be worth the investment to get some new clothes you actually like. (Also, for the binder, I recommend using Shapeshifters, as they do a lot of custom sizing and are very inclusive of plus sized folk.)

Another way to go for clothes is to focus on accent pieces that draw attention away from the areas you don't like there being attention on. Hats, artistic shoes, big or colorful glasses, chunky bracelets, etc.