Hey girl, this really sucks. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. I just wanted to let you know that I've been having issues in my life with the way I act/react to situations and what you said about your dad, attracting the wrong people and having "bad" boundaries really reminded me of stuff I've been learning about in therapy.
I know and completely understand that some people cannot afford therapy (I only can because of work health insurance for a limited amount of time) but my therapist suggested a book and so far I find it VERY useful and interesting and think you could greatly benefit from it.
Reinventing my life (this is a link to amazon Kindle store). The book is 14$, so not a big expense and could help you making the changes you want . It's a book about cognitive and behavioral therapy.
If you do go through with reading this book, I suggest doing ALL the exercices. Do not dismiss as being "dumb" or doing it later (made that mistake in the begining lol).
What I like about it is that it offers concrete actions and resolutions instead of being vague about loving yourself and being happy. For example, it helps you reconize patterns and then in turn what you should do when you see this pattern and what making this small change will affect. The book is full of people's experiences, which even though I'm not going through the same thing as you, I reconized as something being discussed a lot in this book.
Hope you feel better soon, sending lots of love your way
This is the book I read
https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Your-Life-Breakthough-Negative-ebook/dp/B0776JJ6L8/
Glad I helped you become aware of this.
If you want to look into it deeper, this is the book I read on schema therapy:
https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Your-Life-Breakthough-Negative-ebook/dp/B0776JJ6L8/