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Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect?
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18 reviews of this product found across Reddit:
If he doesn't want to work towards fixing his issues there's not much you can do. He has to want to change before it's possible.
I recommend he give this book a read
https://smile.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C/
I'm not OP, but if the reason you have a hard time processing your emotions is at all linked to your upbringing, I've found this book quite helpful: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009VJ4B4C/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Basically, the book is about how your parents can inadvertently teach you that emotional expression is bad, which can screw you up, because expressing emotions and by extension, your needs, are a fundamental human drive. The book will give you techniques on recognizing your emotions, and a lot of useful support on encouraging you to be more comfortable expressing them.
Read book. Forgive, forget.
Parents suck a being parents. Maybe one day we all can be a little less shitty to the next generation.
If you strongly suspect experiences as a child influencing your present, read Running On Empty. It's a fantastic book and quick read that focuses on childhood emotional neglect, the causes, and possible paths forward.
I can relate a lot to an unstable upbringing: fear of a violent explosion from care figures fostered a need to read the slightest cues in body language and inflection to gauge what they were actually thinking and feeling.
The good news? After learning about CEN and pursuing therapy, I've made tremendous progress towards moderating my own emotional reactions, and can still read people pretty well.
There's hope. Trust me on this. :)
Haven't been doing very well lately. I've been in a bit of a funk, so I haven't been doing my healthy habits and have instead have been engaging in my unhealthy ones, including MADD. I know I need to work harder on my resiliency and sticking to doing the good things, even when I don't feel like it. I just keep reminding myself it is one of the many mental/spiritual 'muscles' that I am trying to build.
Picked up a book on childhood emotional neglect and it resonated with me. It's funny - I think for a lot of us, we spend our childhoods trying to just survive, then as adults go through periods where we try to do our best in spite of our childhood wounds and keep messing it up, and then eventually come to a place where we look back at our childhoods and go 'OK, what the hell was that about?'
I read a lot of self-help books in general, and I find when I read something I really resonate with I've started talking to my characters about it, my past life experiences, why I am the way I am now, etc. Which I think is a healthier way of daydreaming rather than saving the world and having adoring fans. Probably what would be healthiest is to actually talk to someone IRL about it, but I have this fear of not being taken seriously/being seen as a whiner, yada yada. But maybe one day I can bridge that gap.
Sorry you're having a tough time. My partner has had issues with identifying his feeling and we've been reading this book, might be worth checking out.
Helps us deal. With that "empty" feeling or. With not knowing how you feel.
https://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C
https://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C
My partner and I (I'm female, he's male) have been having some vulnerability issues and reading this it really is helping us become more Aware of each other's emotional needs it's obviously targeted between parent child relationships but the book also talks about how lacking in connection in our adult relationships can be a result of emotional neglect as children, who knows maybe she never learned how to connect emotionally. The most important thing is that she's willing to even work on it cause if she's not then there's the problem
I would read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1430970106&sr=1-1&keywords=running+on+empty
Your Nephew has suffered multiple types of emotional neglect: drug-addled parent, dead parent, checked-out parent, etc. Also experimenting with drugs at such a young age can also lead to development problems.
Basically the laize-fraie attitude and drugs are his way of suppression his emotions because he never knew how to handle them.
Get him to a therapist right away and so should you and your husband, you can't ignore the stress this situation is causing you and your husband.
You might also want to look into Sex and Love Addict Anonymous for him, it sounds like all the texting and unprotected sex with girls is.
https://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C
Go enrol in new hobbies, group classes, etc. so you can build a group of friends around you. It's hard work and takes years but is so worth it.
A few books for you so you can heal (it's up to you): https://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C
For your husband to read: https://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009VJ4B4C/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_M2KN43KZ02F6XRBAVRZS
I'm sorry that you need to go through this. No one should be exposed to this kind of behavior. Obviously it's affecting you physically and psychologically now, but I would be concerned how it affecting your long term development. This sounds like an authoritarian parenting style (it's an actual psychological concept) and it sounds like you are being exposed to a fair amount of emotional neglect.
I went through something similar when I was living with my father but I wasn't able to do anything about it at the time. I'm presuming that you are younger and still dependent on your parents so its not a situation thats easily escapable. And of course some people are ignorant, stubborn, and resistant to change. Recognizing that it's affecting you and that it's a problem is a good first step though.
There are books that I read that helped me understand what I went through, and maybe it would help you as well. Maybe it would offer you some help in how to proceed:
https://www.amazon.ca/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional-ebook/dp/B009VJ4B4C
This is a series of 2-3 books on the subject. It’s eye opening to say the least. You will understand while you feel the way you do.
I'm glad to read that your relationships have improved.
And the reason you're alive is because you're spiritually strong enough to realize that suicide is the coward's way out. I know that there is life after death, so whatever hell you're in when you die, that's where you'll go after you leave the body. I know Earth is the perfect place to resolve it here and now.
There is one book I read that was truly excellent in regards to emotional neglect... Running on empty (Amazon link below)
What I learned from this book was f***ing mindblowing (excuse the language).
the one powerful thing I learned was the w*e are more affected by the things we DIDN'T get than the things we did get!*
So, technically, being constantly abused by your parents is "better" for the child than the parents "not being there" or "not being around". In other words, the critical factor is attention. I know that sounds amazing, but this was the case for most of the author's clients.
There is the old English saying "the sins of Omission are greater than the sins of Commission" which means the same as the bold sentence I mentioned above.
I think you would love this book, and it may even make you cry with sheer joy of finally being able to relate and see what was missing, like I did.
I would whole-heatedly recommend it.
Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.
And as estrangedjane suggested, please get at least some form of professional help for therapy. Please!
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