get a stripey onesie and moustache and go as an olde-timey strongman.
edit: here ya go! https://www.amazon.com/Forever-Striped-Jockstrap-Leotard-Wrestling/dp/B01MRGIA5F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1508254822&sr=8-1&keywords=spandex+striped+men+unitard