I thought Scattered was a great read. Particularly since it approaches the topic in a way that focuses more on relationships (with parents AND partners) and emotional impact, rather than genetics and testing.
I think it was probably this one by Dr. mate: http://www.amazon.com/Scattered-Attention-Deficit-Disorder-Originates/dp/0452279631. I didn't really agree with everything Dr. Mate said, but it was still very interesting. His theory is that we're all victims of stress or something like that. I think stress is relevant, but I'm not sure it's the root cause really the way he thinks. I'm pretty sure though that he is the one who really emphasized how sensitive we are. I also watched some videos by him. Another very short, interesting read is an article about "orchid children" I read somewhere .... it's based on some studies that suggest that we have genes that make us unusually vulnerable to our environment, which in a way is kind of similar to what Dr. Mate is saying (but is much more scientific). I've also read some stuff by Ned Hallowell and Russell Barkley. I am fairly certain Dr. Barkley does NOT emphasize the "sensitive" nature thing, but Dr. Hallowell might have.
Don't forget that www.yourbrainonporn.com is very popular because it shows WHAT, but not why. We know "what" as far as the interaction of a superstimulous, but not why people medicate. The addiction part. The trauma part. That's what's important,
The origin is trauma.
Check out this amazing theme...on attention defecit disorder:
http://www.amazon.com/Scattered-Attention-Deficit-Disorder-Originates/dp/0452279631
I just read an awesome book by a Doctor who is an ADHD father with ADHD kids. It is <em>Scattered:How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It</em> by Gabor Mate He talks a lot about the various ways to help beyond just "get them organized" and medication (which he discusses briefly at the end of the book). The main point is to be there for them and love them unconditionally. But you may want to read the book to see what he means by that. I found it in my local library.
I am coming to this thread really late - but everything you describe matches ADD closer than you think. I highly recommend this book (not self-help, dont worry ;)
http://www.amazon.com/Scattered-Attention-Deficit-Disorder-Originates/dp/0452279631
Anyone reading this who relates will be floored by reading this.
Buy yourselves a copy of Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
It was a game changer for me.
Scattered by Gabor Mate Scattered by Gabor Mate was really insightful for me in tying my childhood to my ADHD.