If you want a good example of someone who firmly believed in the doctrines of grace and yet was kind and loving towards those who didn't, check out some of John Newton's letters. Here's a book with a handful of his letters HERE, or quite a few more letters are found in his Works. It really has to do with humility and love kindled in us by the graciousness of the gospel!
Hey, so your post included an Amazon affiliate link, which is why it was removed. If you link to the John Newton letters via a normal link (like so) that will be just fine.