{"product":{"product_id":"0143038702","title":"Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man","price":"14.4","image_url":"https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51hqyaxOmpL._SL500_.jpg","url":"https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143038702"},"comments":[{"body":"\u0026gt; I understand a frustration with rigid, societal gender roles. \r\n\r\nOK, but please understand that that's not what gender identity is about.\r\n\r\nSuppose we tell you, \"We're going to transform your body to female, and that's how everybody is going to see and relate to you for the rest of your life.  But don't worry!  We're not saying you have to be feminine!  You can be as masculine as a woman as you like!  But you have to be a woman.\"\r\n\r\nI don't think you'd be cool with that.  Possibly a few people have a lot of built-in gender flexibility and could roll with that punch.  A lot more people *think* they could handle it, but in reality probably could not - [Nora Vincent](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702) thought she could, for example, and almost lost her mind, even though her change was only outward/social and not bodily.","subreddit_name":"asktransgender","author":"gnurdette"},{"body":"Hummm...não tenho ideia, mas vou chutar do meio do campo.\r\n\r\nTem o [caso de uma mulher lésbica que se disfarçou como homem e viveu 18 meses assim](https://www.amazon.com.br/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702). Ela tem uns insights bem interessantes e inclusive teve uns dates com mulheres. Para ela, em termos de relacionamentos e sedução, o papel do homem é MUITO mais difícil que o da mulher. O homem precisa se provar e há todo um tipo de pressão para seduzir, enquanto que para a mulher o papel é muito mais simples.\r\n\r\nEu concordo em boa parte com isso. Atravessar uma sala e abordar uma mulher que você acha extremamente sexy e que tem um sorriso bonito e tal é extremamente difícil e aprender isso é um caminho longo e repleto de frustração. Por isso, por exemplo, que você vê muito nerd masculino virjão, e muito menos mulher na mesma situação, e por isso que pipocam tópicos do tipo \"como chegar na crush\" partindo de homens, e não de mulheres. \r\n\r\nTer sexo com frequência é muito mais fácil pra mulher, no final das contas, e acredito que um cara que é bi mas que é socialmente morto pode acabar \"migrando\" pro outro lado, talvez por ser mais fácil e se sentir mais realizado sendo desejado, seja da forma que for.\r\n\r\nComo eu falei no início, é um chute do meio do campo e nada impede que eu tenha isolado a bola do estádio.","subreddit_name":"brasil","author":"AlexCristian69"},{"body":"regarding the non-penis portion of your post.  there was a book by norah vincent called [Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1528366226\u0026amp;sr=8-2\u0026amp;keywords=self+made+man\u0026amp;dpID=51TpP%252BZgE%252BL\u0026amp;preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_\u0026amp;dpSrc=srch).  i haven't read the book, just norahs explanation of it.  basically, she spent a year dressing and acting like a man.  but, she had to quit because she became suicidal as a result of it.  so, this isn't a thing for cis women.  some may say they want to do it, but they really don't because they don't do it.  and if they were to try it, they would wind up like norah.\r\n\r\nthe difference here is that you are expressing your desire that you are or might be a man for many reasons, and part of it is not feeling female.  that's very different than saying you want to be a man for male privilege.  i guess the point i am trying to say is, is that your feelings aren't equally comparable to cis women.  try asking that question and ignoring the privilege part.  would you arrive at the same conclusion?","subreddit_name":"asktransgender","author":"Khatinc"},{"body":"[Here's the Amazon link](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8).  It is illuminating reading.  I'm not saying I agree with everything she had to say, but I will say that as a man, it was stunningly refreshing to see someone else acknowledging that male life has entire classes of difficulties that aren't even on most women's radar.   ","subreddit_name":"AskWomenOver30","author":"Baeocystin"},{"body":"Everyone has issues in their lives on multiple fronts.  Trans men have issues around being biologically female, being trans, AND being men. Since they experience discrimination because they are men, they need to be included in men's rights.  Not only that, but since they have lived experiences as both female and male they can be powerful allies in the quest for gender equality. Norah Vincent's book about going undercover as a man for 18 months is a great read.  I've read similar much shorter stories from trans men that give a unique perspective on male/female experience that most people never get.\r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702","subreddit_name":"MensRights","author":"duhhhh"},{"body":"\u0026gt; Which opportunities does she have specifically because she is a woman\r\n\r\n* Waitress- it is much easier to get a waiting job as a female than a male.  There are many restaurants that only hire women for this position. \r\n* Clerical work- most front desks in offices want a non-threatening looking woman. \r\n* Women's clothing and beauty stores- the majority of clothing and beauty retail space is for female clothing.  They make it very clear that only women need apply for those positions. \r\n* Stripping\r\n* Marrying a man and living off of him. \r\n* Patreon, Twitch, OnlyFans, Youtube other websites. \r\n\r\nOP really does have a lot of opportunities as a 23 year old woman, even if she's only a 5/10, she has opportunities. She really just has to omit her law degree from her applications, and I'm pretty sure she'll get something.\r\n\r\n\u0026gt; I would swap my life as a woman anytime against that of a man. I would not have been raped, I would not have people shoving me their biases in the face everywhere I go online, \r\n\r\nThe grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. If you really want to know what life is like as a man from a woman's perspective, then read this book. \"Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man.\"  She finds out pretty quickly that being a man sucks. \r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702/","subreddit_name":"NEET","author":"TropicalKing"},{"body":"When I am around men? Almost never. When there are no men [1] around? Plenty of times. \r\n\r\n\u0026gt; *what is the best way for me to respond to his tears? how can i best comfort and support him without making him feel emasculated or weak?*\r\n\r\nHold him when he cries. Don't say anything [2]. \r\n\r\nWhat can cause me to cry? There are movies and passages in books (an example of a book that can reduce me to tears is \"[Self Made Man](http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702)\").\r\n\r\nI don't know about your guy [3], but as I was growing up, crying was a total failure of masculinity. Even my girlfriends would beat the shit out of me. \r\n\r\nNotes:   \r\n1 - Other than myself, and I don't always consider myself one despite chromosomes, hormones and genitals.    \r\n2 - Other than something like \"I love you\" or \"it is OK, I love you.\"   \r\n3 - I am probably your dad's age, if not older than your dad.  Fuck you, my beard is grayer than his. ","subreddit_name":"AskMen","author":"Tangurena"},{"body":"\r\nPeople will treat you how you expect to be treated. The first thing to do is to make the decision that NO MATTER WHAT you will treat yourself well and expect others to treat you well because as a human being you have inherent worth\r\n\r\nGet a copy of the book 'why men marry some women and not others' by Molloy, it's GENIUS. As  guy I can say his research is 100% solid, spot on, take it to the bank.\r\n\r\nSo what if you can't rely on looks as much as other girls, that's not disqualifying by any means. Do what you can with what you have - waist to hip ratio of .7, a bit of makeup,  long hairstyle, clothes. MAkeover book. Any girlfriends who are true friends? If none, find some by BEING a friend and do for them what you wish one would do for you - coach you through the makeover process to  do what you can with what you have.\r\n\r\nyoga is fabulous for improving body confidence; if you can move well and inhabit your body it does something makeup can't.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nread this book to understand men:\r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702\r\n\r\nthen... Go where the guys are - learn a hobby that's male dominated and get active in it. Just do it to socialize without expectations. There are shy lonely guys everywhere but you have to know where to look. once you're there, just be pleasant and interesting and interested. Guys are gunshy about marriage because they see how entitled and manipulative women can be and the deck is stacked against men in some ways. MGTOWs exist for some strong reasons. Be different from the women who have influenced that trend.\r\n\r\n80% of long term compatibility is personality, capitalize on your personality strengths. Get the book _Fascinating Womanhood_  if you want to know how to stay married.","subreddit_name":"selfhelp","author":"McLuhanSaidItFirst"},{"body":"Familiar with Norah Vincent's \"[Self Made Man?](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702)\"\r\n\r\nIt's exactly that. \r\n\r\nShe's a lesbian and was a feminist who thought men have it great and that rednecks are awful, insular bigots. So she dressed as a man (quite convincingly, she's a tall, broad-shouldered woman and *really* put the effort into it, taking vocal lessons to speak in a masculine manner, using finely-shaved wool applied by a makeup artist to give herself stubble, and getting custom-tailored clothing to hide her already modest feminine features) and joined a bowling club in a small town for a year. She set up and went on first dates with something like 30 women in the same time frame, too.\r\n\r\nTurned out that dating as a man sucked, the rednecks that she held in such low regard welcomed her in and mentored her, *even though they thought she was a gay guy the whole time,* and that pretty much all of her stock-photo opinions were exactly opposite reality.","subreddit_name":"PoliticalCompassMemes","author":"Missing_Links"},{"body":"It's frustrating, because it's hard to explain to somebody who hasn't experienced it.\r\n\r\nI mean, if somebody transitioned her to male against her will, I doubt she'd say \"well, this doesn't bother me, I'll just be a feminine male\".  Yet she might *imagine* she could do that.  \r\n\r\nThere was a book by a butch lesbian who attempted it as an experiment, and needed therapy afterward: [Self-Made Man](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702).","subreddit_name":"asktransgender","author":"gnurdette"},{"body":"It's not a biological thing (also why feminists have been trying to replace that particular slogan. Well except TERFs, they *really* believe in that one). It's a life experience thing.\r\n\r\nFor example, if I, as a man, said \"Well catcalling ain't all that bad! They're just complimenting you!\" I, of course, would have no *fucking* idea what I'm talking about, because it never happened to me. And even if it did, I wouldn't be in as much danger as a woman would, because if a 5'5'' tiny man came out of that car to beat my ass after I told him to go fuck himself, I could probably defend myself, a woman can't. So that's the baseline.\r\n\r\nSo when a woman says \"Life as a man isn't so tough, we have it way worse!\" while men get murdered at triple their rate and kill themselves at double, maybe they have no fucking idea how hard it is. So if they don't have a dick, maybe they shouldn't comment or advocate for me, I can do it myself thank you very much.\r\n\r\nPlus every feminist (that I know) that said \"pffft men have it easy, I'll prove it!\" changed their minds. From the girl who produced \"The Red Pill\" to the one who lived her life as a man for a year and a half just to \"try it out\". (https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702)\r\n\r\nBecause, it turns out, life as a man isn't as easy as it seems! It's not like we didn't have years of data to prove it, but ya know...","subreddit_name":"CanadaPolitics","author":"kebeckistan"},{"body":"Honestly the only way to do this is people who have either transitioned or done a long term impersonation.\r\n\r\nAnd both of those things *have* been done. There was the butch lesbian who pretended to be a man for like a year, joined a bowling team, tried to pick up women etc. Very illuminating: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702\r\n\r\nThe other that stuck out for me was an ftm person who said that on testosterone he suddenly gained the ability to compartmentalize. Like, even when a close family member died, he could put those feelings in a box and play basketball with his mates for an hour and then come back to it. As a woman he couldn't do that at all. I found this utterly fascinating too.","subreddit_name":"PurplePillDebate","author":"NameGiver0"},{"body":"There is an interesting book called Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent in which she lives a year as a man socially.  She did ask those things described above.  6 months into it, she has a nervous breakdown and was admitted into an inpatient psych unit.  She concluded her experiment.  Her conclusion was that she was in fact a woman irregardless off how society viewed her.  \r\n\r\nSelf-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143038702/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_SV8S6X25AYD3HM579W7A","subreddit_name":"asktransgender","author":"Khatinc"},{"body":"Women and men both have their own challenges. But Norah Vincent [spent 18 months disguised as a man](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702). By the end she was suicidal and checked herself into a hospital. \"It was hard being a guy. Really hard. And there were a lot of reasons for this.\"","subreddit_name":"AskMenAdvice","author":"HeftyAdministration8"},{"body":"\u0026gt;To the ladies out there who is so tired of getting heart broken by useless and immature boys, have you ever wished that you were born a guy, instead of a girl? I have. Million of times. 😔 \r\n\r\nPerhaps you would be interested in this book, \"[Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702)\" by Norah Vincent?","subreddit_name":"Brunei","author":"MysteriousSanguine"}]}