{"product":{"product_id":"0593192095","title":"Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself","price":"16.33","image_url":"https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41lH3qMYclL._SL500_.jpg","url":"https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593192095"},"comments":[{"body":"I think black and white thinking is not the same thing as having black and white boundaries. You clearly still love your boyfriend, so I wouldn’t say your thinking about him and this situation is black or white at all.\r\n\r\nYou can both still love your boyfriend and not be willing to offer forgiveness for a clear boundary violation and choose to discontinue the intimate relationship. That kind of choice shows a *mastery* of working in the “grey area”, not an unfamiliarity with it.\r\n\r\nI’ll also recommend the book [*Set Boundaries, Find Peace* by Nedra Glover Tawwab](https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095). It’s legit a boundary bible.","subreddit_name":"aspergirls","author":"chilenizada"},{"body":"My therapist once said: You're going to be upset no matter what you do. Would you rather feel shitty because you let them violate your boundaries, or would you rather feel shitty about \"letting them down\" while you do what you want? It's easier said than done, but honestly the more you stand firm in your boundaries and just power through the discomfort, the easier it gets. I promise! \r\n\r\nShe also recommended [this book](https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095), which I'm actually about to start reading this week.","subreddit_name":"raisedbynarcissists","author":"cda0194"},{"body":"For my sobriety and mental health, I use a mix of AA along with other things outside of AA to keep my mental health well rounded. I am lucky enough to have my health insurance cover therapy, and I have been reading books about interpersonal relationships and how to navigate them ([this book](https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095) is literally changing my life right now).  I do think going to meetings is important. Staying connected with fellow AA members who are working steps is a great way to build a support system of friends who align with your sobriety goals . But, I think there is more to life than completely putting all of my eggs in one basket. AA is helpful for my sobriety and connection and reminding me that I am indeed an alcoholic, but therapy has helped me deal with trauma I've faced in the past, and reading books has help me navigate more specific things like habit building, interpersonal relationships, etc. Find a well rounded balance for the life you want to live. That might mean looking outside of AA for other kinds of help :) Also, if you don't click with your sponsor, it might be time to find a new one. I look forward to seeing and speaking with my sponsor, and I don't think I could've made it through the steps if I didn't like my sponsor.","subreddit_name":"alcoholicsanonymous","author":"Fine_Cause_1713"},{"body":"Not sure if this is the one OP is reading, but I have several friends who rave about this:\r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095/ref=asc_df_0593192095_nodl?tag=hyprod-20\u0026amp;linkCode=df0\u0026amp;hvadid=509236552787\u0026amp;hvpos=\u0026amp;hvnetw=g\u0026amp;hvrand=16267445649525744012\u0026amp;hvpone=\u0026amp;hvptwo=\u0026amp;hvqmt=\u0026amp;hvdev=m\u0026amp;hvdvcmdl=\u0026amp;hvlocint=\u0026amp;hvlocphy=9014908\u0026amp;hvtargid=pla-1068557972861\u0026amp;psc=1\u0026amp;dplnkId=461f7c23-7c15-4ad8-bd0e-0b11be7b4990","subreddit_name":"stepparents","author":"Environmental-Cod839"},{"body":"Focus on things you can control. Where is your part in the resentment? Do you someone for their behavior? Your part here would be making sure you clearly communicate how their behavior makes you feel. If their behavior doesn’t change, set a boundary with them and uphold it. Decide what you want for yourself and what you’re willing to tolerate from others.\r\n\r\nReading recommendation: [Set Boundaries, Find Peace](https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095)","subreddit_name":"LifeProTips","author":"Fine_Cause_1713"},{"body":"I’m not a therapist, but from what I learnt.. setting boundaries is never easy. I’m sorry you’re feeling unheard. It might not be all you, others also contribute to how you feel. \r\n\r\nDon’t feel that not setting boundaries is a problem you have to fix. Here’s a really good book if you’re interested: Set Boundaries, Find Peace\r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.ca/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095\r\n\r\nPersonally I prefer to read, but my partner loves audio books. Give it a try!","subreddit_name":"askTO","author":"Ambitious_everg"},{"body":"You're an adult and she's an adult.  You are choosing to sever whatever legal/emotional ties you had to each other.  Talk to you lawyer about how to make sure your child support payments actually go to supporting your child, but beyond making sure your child is safe, let it all go.\r\n\r\nSeriously - get really good at [boundaries](https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095).  It's not your job to control how she spends her money or how she lives her life.  It's not your job to rescue or help her when she screws up.  Let it go.","subreddit_name":"personalfinance","author":"AfraidtoDraw2021"},{"body":"If you DM me an address you can receive packages, I will buy a copy of the book linked below for you.\r\n\r\nRegardless of your situation, your wife chronically disrespects your boundaries. This book is a fabulous blueprint to communicating and setting boundaries that you and your wife will really benefit from.\r\n\r\nGood luck!\r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095/ref=asc_df_0593192095/?tag=hyprod-20\u0026amp;linkCode=df0\u0026amp;hvadid=509236552787\u0026amp;hvpos=\u0026amp;hvnetw=g\u0026amp;hvrand=13911010360900271400\u0026amp;hvpone=\u0026amp;hvptwo=\u0026amp;hvqmt=\u0026amp;hvdev=m\u0026amp;hvdvcmdl=\u0026amp;hvlocint=\u0026amp;hvlocphy=9028320\u0026amp;hvtargid=pla-1068557972861\u0026amp;psc=1","subreddit_name":"BestofRedditorUpdates","author":"Traditional-Web-1926"},{"body":"I am currently listening to [Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself](https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095) on Audible and it is an amazing guide. I kind of wish I was reading the actual book instead of the audio as I think I would have gained more. Definitely recommend as someone who has always struggled with this!","subreddit_name":"mentalhealth","author":"americanblondie3"},{"body":"\u0026gt; her abuse of me is turning me into who she claims I’ve always been (manipulative and controlling) since I’m reacting to DH in a controlling way out of my sheer fear and stress she’s caused me and PTSD from how she treated me when I was postpartum and suffering from  PPA. I’m self aware and working to fix the issues.\r\n\r\n👏👏👏\r\n\r\nThis shows some real work and maturity on your part! I see so many OPs and commenters here who seem to believe that doubling down and dramatically escalating power and control issues with their in-laws will help, but the reality is that the more you grip, tug and pull on that rope the stronger the resistance will get. It sounds like you understand that there are much more elegant, less disruptive and “quieter” ways of healthily ending or curtailing interpersonal tug-of-war matches without just continuing to yank your end of the rope harder and harder hoping your “opponent” will fall. That’s more than half the battle, and you’ve got this! \r\n\r\nBook recommendation: \r\nSet Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab \r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095/","subreddit_name":"JUSTNOMIL","author":"BoozeAndHotpants"},{"body":"This isn't an issue of your family not supporting your marriage. This is an issue of a narcisstic mother and no boundaries and her family enabling her to continue to act this way. She needs a major paradigm shift. But we can't control others, so all you can do is make it very clear how you feel and what you will put up with. She sounds toxic.\r\n\r\nPlease look into this book and the author's Instagram page! Very helpful stuff for this topic.  \r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095","subreddit_name":"latterdaysaints","author":"gladiolas"},{"body":"Oh HUGS! No no don’t be mad at yourself at all. He’s the one who failed the baby. And colds are very common for kids. If they didn’t get it from this douche they’d get it from someone else’ \r\n\r\n Like I said this isn’t easy and or did what you had the ability to do. It takes time to develop the boundary setting ability. Read this book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593192095/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_8VR32CT4RC8XY19F46PV","subreddit_name":"workingmoms","author":"Moissyfan"},{"body":"It's interesting that you and your sis have such a different sense of what is and isn't appropriate to expect from the people around you. I had to do so much reading to develop that sense as I was raised by authoritarians. [Here's the best guidebook](https://smile.amazon.com/dp/0593192095/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_ARDN92226N82AW9J0YQE) in case anyone is interested! (Pls buy one for your nephew when he's older, cuz he is screwed!)","subreddit_name":"AskaManagerSnark","author":"more_like_asworstos"},{"body":"If ur into reading at all, there is this book [book](https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095) and it has helped me SO MUCH. it’s modern, helpful af, and so far no religious-ness tied in.","subreddit_name":"CPTSDmemes","author":"BlazinFlowerGirl"},{"body":"It sounds like your partner is getting uncomfotably close to, if not has already crossed the boundary into, [infantilizing](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infantilization) territory. \r\n\r\nWhen I have communication issues like this with my partner, it helps to have a third, qualified party (like a therapist) to be there. It helps because the therapist:\r\n- acts as an “objective” participant/referee who can enforce boundaries (so things stay respectful, which can be hard to do for both parties on an especially sensitive topic);\r\n- is a qualified healthcare professional that can explain selective mutism as a legitimate medical condition (also, the therapist shouldn’t require that you have an autism diagnosis to understand your description of selective mutism);\r\n- can help assist in constructive communication methods, such as providing structure and reframing techniques support for expressing yourself assertively and guiding the conversation towards a “communicate to understand me” purpose instead of a “communicate to get help problem-solving for me” purpose.\r\n\r\nIf a therapist is not accessible to you (I just use my regular therapist and make it a joint therapy session as needed), I’d look up [assertive communication techniques](https://www.verywellmind.com/learn-assertive-communication-in-five-simple-steps-3144969). If you think the root cause could be issues with expressing boundaries generally, I’d recommend [*Set Boundaries, Find Peace* by Nedra Glover Tawwab](https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095/ref=asc_df_0593192095/?tag=hyprod-20\u0026amp;linkCode=df0\u0026amp;hvadid=509236552787\u0026amp;hvpos=\u0026amp;hvnetw=g\u0026amp;hvrand=18258580451103293626\u0026amp;hvpone=\u0026amp;hvptwo=\u0026amp;hvqmt=\u0026amp;hvdev=m\u0026amp;hvdvcmdl=\u0026amp;hvlocint=\u0026amp;hvlocphy=9012317\u0026amp;hvtargid=pla-1068557972861\u0026amp;psc=1). If you can’t find a copy of the book, her [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/?hl=en) is full of wonderful little nuggets of wisdom that can get you started. \r\n\r\nGood luck!","subreddit_name":"autism","author":"chilenizada"}]}