This might be a helpful book: <em>Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy</em>
The purity culture in the church that went into overdrive the last 20 or so years has done a lot of damage.
There's a website where people are trying to learn to unlearn all that mess: http://thankgodforsex.org
Also keep in mind that the concept of virginity being the greatest gift you could give your husband is garbage. It all goes back to women being property.
Now I'm not advocating that you go out and fuck everyone in sight. But, you need to let some of the pressure off of yourself. Find someone you love and who loves you and go for it.
Here's some food for thought: Premarital Sex: Is It A Sin Or Not?