Hey I know what you're going through. I've been there.
The main problem is to actually get yourself to stop making excuses and admit HE was the one with problems and they HE was a narcissist.
I read this book when I was in the relationship trying to find reasons to make myself admit the reality. This Should I stay? Or should I go? audio book helped me. It's on Audible. I guess amazon as a paperback too!
Please have a look at it. It's worth knowing you are so much better than what he had you believing all along. I hope you good luck.
Clearly, he needs time to figure out what will work for him. In the meantime, his treatment of his family is unacceptable, and you shouldn't have to tolerate it. Take your son and go. Don't return until he's proved he's gotten his act together. You and your son need not be collateral damage to his "healing".
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/building-your-case-how-to-document-abuse/
https://lundybancroft.com/articles/checklist-for-assessing-change-in-men-who-abuse-women/
https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf