Has she considered alternatives? Are you in a legal state? Are edibles an option, or capsules?
Vapes are a good option to switch to. They are very concentrated and last a long time. If you get a smoke buddy it filters almost all of the waste so the scent is nearly nil. Then, if she does feel the need to take a toke or two in another room, she can do so away from you with no scent to trigger you.
This is a difficult place to be in, because you have a rare disorder and most individuals can use marijuana for medical or stress relief usage in moderation without issue. The alternatives for them are not as safe or side-effect free, so it’s not just that you are asking her to quit. You are asking her to find a less-desirable and perhaps more dangerous for her stress reduction method. The best outcome would be if you can tolerate her using in moderation, and she can tolerate not using in your presence. If the two of you can begin from there, you can move forward.
Are you allowed to smoke inside? If not pick up some smoke buddy's (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00II8FXNA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_PK3H25ZASACAZF43YNPP) and then they can't complain about that.
Are people allowed to grill on the patio? Then fuck your neighbor because an Ooni is no different. Check your lease rules.
Buy a smoke buddy it'll cost about 25 on amazon, you exhale your vape/smoke into it and no smell comes out the other end. You can now vape with your windows closed. Enjoy!
With this little guy right here. You exhale through it and it captures all the smoke. They work pretty good.
Smoke Buddy 0159-RD Personal Air Filter, Red https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00II8FXNA/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_5IyuFbDHFCQAF
You can also wad up a bunch of dryer sheets and stuff them into a empty toilet paper tube and exhale through that. It won't work as well as the smoke buddy but it would be enough if you're outside.
seriously, order a smoke buddy on amazon. They're like magic, and if you ever notice it not working as well as it should just run it through the clothes dryer and it will start working like new again.
As per my other comment: Here is the product I recommend and use, I've gone through half a dozen. (the filter eventually gets saturated and they don't filter 100%... but thats after like blowing a quarter pound or half pound worth of product through it. (months and months of use))
This would help even with a joint, to reduce the smoke your exhaling from your drags, although the burning jay will still be producing smoke that will linger to your neighbors.
This product works best when combined with a pipe, bubbler, bong or similar apparatus that you can load up with single tokes. Take a huge toke, blow it out through the smoke buddy. virtually no smell/smoke leftover. Most smoke shops will carry them or a variation of them... People use these smoking indoors in apartment complexes unbeknownst to their neighbors in the same complex.
Your neighbor would probably appreciate it, and you can keep on smoking. He's happy, you're baked.
Edit: To answer your last question OP: You're not wrong to smoke on your own property, but after your neighbor brought up his concerns, you'd be kind of a dick to just give him the middle finger and ignore him. There are better methods out there to find some sort of middle ground with your neighbor aside from "blowing smoke in the other direction" :P
I don't know much about law-enforcement's feelings toward trees over there, but I do know that here they'd need to know who's door to direct the police to, (If you're just outside and you smell weed and complain to the police they'll probably tell you there's nothing they can do unless you can tell where it's coming from) and if they did choose to show up, they'd have to smell it themselves and suspect it's coming from your specific domicile, and then they'd have to also suspect that you have enough that you could be selling it, because they'll need a warrant if they want to search your residence.
The next thing is to get yourself something like a Smoke Buddy to exhale through to mitigate the smell, and be mindful of how you smoke. Bowls you can kill off in one hit produce a lot less smell than say a joint.
I used to use that old jank shit but it's nothing compared to a smoke buddy. These things have carbon filters in them that catch the smoke and nothing comes out the other side. If you have the money and need to cover your dank stank i would invest.
$12.00 with free shipping https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00II8FXNA/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_DHw5wbKGSTFB2
Nothing a Smoke Buddy on Amazon can’t fix
Real grown-up hours:
Smoke Buddy 0159-RD Personal Air Filter, Red https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00II8FXNA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_yYo6DbD2SHB5N
Get a smoke buddy. I never had an issue since.
Smoke Buddy 0159-RD Personal Air Filter, Red https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00II8FXNA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_90Q5DbJGT9ZFN
Hotel's smoking policy would be the same with cigarettes. I suggest a charcoal filter like the smoke buddy.
https://www.amazon.com/Smoke-Buddy-0159-RD-Personal-Filter/dp/B00II8FXNA
Mate, buy SmokeBuddy and forget about your problem!
Link to the smoke buddy on amazon for anyone interested.
Smoke Buddy 0159-RD Personal Air Filter, Red https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00II8FXNA/