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So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives?
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Maybe kissing and touching works sometimes, but not all the time, is what I mean. Definitely have a conversation about fantasies and things you want to explore in the bedroom that are different than "vanilla" sex. There could potentially be a side to both of your sexualities that you aren't aware you are into if you haven't had that discussion yet.
This is a very good book I'd recommend reading as a couple that addresses a lot of the issues you mentioned in your post: https://www.amazon.com/Tell-About-Last-Time-You-ebook/dp/B08F51RY43
Sex is a skill and you shouldn't view it so male oriented. There is a very big problem the way our society views sex because it is so focused around the man (see: sex is usually over when a man ejaculates.) It's a team sport and you need to make sure you are both educated about your individual sexualities and what works for you both.
I strongly recommend you educate yourselves. Here's a great book you can both read together as a starting point that I read with my partner a few years ago. It will give you some great places to talk and explore sex and ensure you are strengthening your relationship through this process:
https://www.amazon.com/Tell-About-Last-Time-You-ebook/dp/B08F51RY43
His book So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex is pretty good. It deals with libido mismatches and other sexual problems within couples. I think it's way too kink-focused for most people in this sub, though.
https://www.amazon.com/Tell-About-Last-Time-You-ebook/dp/B08F51RY43/
My suggestion is So, Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, by Ian Kermer. It is friendly to all genders, kinks, and sexualities.
Ok, you two need to rework your sex script now that you are returning to intimacy. There is an amazing book you both need to read called "So Tell me about the last time you had sex" from Ian Kerner.
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