Games and mojoupgrade. Both are excellent facilitators of open and honest communication about what each partner wants from the other in regards to sex.
And most games really help to eliminate the awkwardness of asking for a specific act to be performed on you or by you. You just do what the game tells you, and as you play you really start to learn what your partner reacts to.
This one in particular is awesome: http://www.amazon.com/Little-Genie-Poker-Lovers-Game/dp/B000QU99RY
For one, everyone knows how to play poker pretty much so there's not much to learn. Reading instructions isn't very sexy. For two, the game is structured in a way that really enables giving as opposed to taking. The chips all describe sexual acts, and you bet what you're willing to perform. As opposed to a game where winning means your partner has to do what you told them, winning means your partner only has to do what they offered as a bet, so nobody has to do anything they didn't already want to do in the first place. My SO and I generally each throw out 4 or 5 chips at the beginning if they are for things we don't really want to do (ie, she can get rid of any anal-related chips if she isn't feeling as adventurous that night, or I can get rid of ones involving feet since feet kind of weird me out). On top of all that, if you're playing right it can take a really long time to finish a game, which just makes things even hotter as the night goes on. We came home from a night out at the bars one weekend at like midnight and played this game until close to sunrise without either of us cumming until the very end.