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My partner and I use this one: [link]
The cuffs are decent, and he's not a weak puller, the most he's been able to do when hooked up is pull the edges of the mattress a little off the frame. No need to tie to the headboard, and if you pull the straps to all four corners you can get a nice starfish effect. Though, I do suggest you replace the given clips with ordinary clips or carabineers, since the provided lobster clasps are.....flimsy. But that's also true of most restraint kits I've seen online.
As for advice- if the cuffs are too loose, they'll slip off, if they're too tight, it'll be dangerous. I suggest having the cuffs on ahead of scene or during foreplay, so you can check with your sub about how they feel. The d-rings should be strong enough to withstand at least a few sessions.
Clip the cuffs on the straps first, and then winch them tight- it's going to shift the placement if you fully tighten any one side at a time without clipping the rest on.
I can't think of anything else at the moment- have fun!
Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraint System [link]
This is the one we use. You can tighten it pretty well where there won't be too much movement.
We also use leather straps/belts if we want less movement.
One of my first purchases was an under-bed restraint kit, very inexpensive. Cuffs are comfortable with velcro fasteners, and hold up pretty well. I still use mine on occasion, although I've bought leather cuffs since then.
I bought a replacement bed restraint set! The wife bought me some new rings for my birthday. Unfortunately, I haven't been in any shape to make use of anything. TMJ and fibro are a bitch.
My husband and I have found dozens of ways to use our Under the bed restraints. Because rope is awfully sexy, but you can throw these on in 2 minutes, flip positions easily, and they tuck under a mattress if you're having company.
Those pumps in the link are perfect to start off with.
You could also get a set of basic adjustable nipple clips, or tie the pumps down with weights to simulate a milking machine. This is an excellent starter kit for quick simple bondage, and if you add a spreader bar you might be able to simulate a yoke.
There are some pretty spectacular under-matress wrist/ankle restraint systems available (and cheap!) that allow for some restrictions but nothing really intense.
The kind I purchased have wrist/ankle cuffs that clip into place, and they can be clipped together to simulate handcuffs too for a little variety. The really nice thing is these straps can tuck away nicely under the mattress when not in use, so it doesn't take too much time to set up if you're both in the mood!
There's a lot of stuff on /r/BDSMcommunity and anywhere on the Internets, but it boils down to KISS, and everyone's different.
Enjoy, and report back to us later ;-)
If you're willing to spend a bit more money you should take a look at under bed restraint systems like this.
You can detach and use just the cuffs, or you can clip them to the straps to tie someone down. It works great to hold someone in place while you "torture" them. My SO and I have this set and we love it. One of the most fun things we do with it is to just tie one person down and blindfold them. Then play with different sensations touching their body all over. Not being able to move and not knowing what and where you'll feel it next is a crazy experience. And it's easy to easy that into more BDSM play little by little.
Edit: Just saw someone else posted a link to these, but I'll leave it up as a double thumbs up recommendation.
I have a similar question as the OP. I am thinking of buying this but have no imagination of what positions we can try with this. I was hoping to find a series of images that depict everything you could do with a system like this.
Anyone have any experience with this product?
I have those, and they will work with any bed regardless of headboard etc. They just go under the bed and you have 4 cuffs at each corner of the bed. They are AWESOME!
edit: someone else already posted this down below... that's what I get for jumping the gun
Choking can be dangerous. There's a lot that can go wrong very quickly if you are really actually choking someone. I'd suggest starting with just putting your hand on her neck as more of a threat of choking (perhaps with a light squeeze) than actually choking her. If she really wants literal choking, that's some serious shit, you want to read up on how to do it correctly, and make sure you have a physical signal in addition to a safe word so she can signal you if she can't speak.
In terms of cuffs and tying up, leather/fabric cuffs can actually be a lot more comfortable than metal ones. Similarly, if you want to use rope, you need to be careful about how you tie and what with so you don't pinch or cut off circulation (rope is super fun though, there are tons of tutorials online - it just takes a bit of practice). My suggestion for just starting out would be to get a set with cuffs and under-the-bed straps to clip them to - these can be really fun and safe when you're starting out, and won't ever dig into her wrists or ankles in an unfun way. You can usually clip them to each other or the bed. Something like this.
One good way to lightly explore ideas and find out what to try is also to dirty talk it together... For example, when you're making out or having sex, ask her about her desire to be tied up - maybe hold her wrists down, or use your feet to hold her legs apart, and have her dirty talk her fantasy through with you a little... Ask her questions, confirm for her that sharing her fantasies is sexy and hot and turns you on, keep fucking or making out... It kinda helps get a picture of what your partner is thinking and makes you a part of it before you have to show up with cuffs and figure it all out.
Similar thoughts - sext about it, have her show you porn she likes, look through bdsm stuff on tumblr and share things to each other that you find hot... All of those things can help you feel out where her head is and also what turns you on. You're part of this too.
To add on to /u/Notashortguy's great idea...
Maybe tease/play with him even more with Ice (rub on his body, have in your mouth for BJ) while he's tied down.
Could tie to chair like suggested, or use something like this. It is a fantastic (inexpensive) system. Comfortable too.
Wearing crotchless panties under your dress for the "romantic" part of the evening/day (very kinky surprise). I love crotchless panties.
I've also heard some fantastic stories about remote vibrating panties. You wear them (without him knowing) while you are doing the "romantic" part of your evening. Then you can give him the remote and whisper to him what it's for as you transition into the kinky. Ohmibod & Link 2 is a very popular wireless/remote vibrator company that has gained a ton of traction over the last few years. There are other options for this out there too, but from what I've heard Ohmibod is the best.
Mine is something like this. I am not sure the brand I bought but I got mine in a sex shop. [link]
Buy an under-the-mattress restraint system like this:
Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System [link]
Then you're free to move around as you wish. Trust me, they're fantastic.
Wishlist since I made it share only.
This would be my favorite item since I didn't realize how much I needed it until I found it.
I'm more of a reader, so /u/gonewildstories all the way.
Favorite toy ever - rabbit vibe. Hands down. Was my first one and will probably die with some form of rabbit vibe in a drawer somewhere. (Sorry to my future children for when you find it.)
No favorite sexual position, but if I had to choose it'd probably be some form of 69ing.
I like it when ... I have already given far too much information. ;)
The SportsSheets Under the Bed Restraint system is a great starting place.
/r/bdsmcommunity would be a good place to check out. Also, I'd say a lot of bondage video stuff online is super crazy hardcore, you don't have to get that deep into it right off the bat, or ever for that matter. Maybe start with a beginners restraint setup and see if you like it. Or look into Shibari <classy rope bondage>
I recommend this awesome system. It’s only $25 to boot, and my wife loved it.
Likely. For instance.
Actually, Amazon has lots of good bondage-type stuff, for decent prices.
Simple and effective.