ProductGPT
Try the custom AI to help you find products that Reddit loves.
So from my personal experience with recovery, I had to prioritize my emotional sobriety if I was going to stay sober of drugs and alcohol. I'm sad that the Big Book doesn't really talk about emotional sobriety that much because I think it's a massive massive part of staying sober and sticking with your program. I work another 12 step called CoDependents Anonymous and it addresses literally everything you said you're struggling with. Especially not feeling wanted or loved by others or yourself. Keeping this stuff to yourself is a huge burden to carry and I'm glad you reached out here, but you'd be surprised just how many other people in recovery feel the exact same way that you do.
Also I couldn't manage my recovery without a therapist. I have quite a few mental health issues (mainly CPTSD) but I used to drink/use to cope with those symptoms. So throughout my sobriety I've had to deal with some pretty serious things like severe social isolation, depressive episodes, super harsh inner critic, constantly stressed and feeling on the verge of a mental breakdown etc. Working CoDA and AA and with my therapist AND with the help of some amazing medicine, I'm able to manage all of these things.
There's also a FABULOUS book called Stage 2 Recovery: Life Beyond Addiction that talks about everything you're struggling with. Sometimes we don't realize just how much other stuff comes up when we're sober and we don't always have the tools to deal with it. This book helped me SO SO SO much and I literally recommend it to everyone in recovery. Here's a link for the book on amazon.
You are totally and completely not alone, and I'm really glad you shared how you're feeling here. It's best to not let these thoughts fester in your head alone
What you are missing is a support group. You need someone to talk with who understands what you are going through. You need strength from the outside. AA can do that. The "power greater than yourself" can be the group. The weakness can come from feeling like you are doing it alone. Try reading some books on the subject if you are into that. One suggestion: https://www.amazon.com/Stage-II-Recovery-Beyond-Addiction/dp/0866834605