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That was me! I didn't even notice the bed frame! We also had this cosleeper which we loved, and our baby liked slept better in it at the beginning!
SwaddleMe By Your Side Sleeper [link]
We had the little basket for the bed from Swaddle Me / Summer Infant. I liked it because I could easily take it downstairs and plop it on the coffee table and she'd nap there during the day for the first several weeks.
Edit - to add link and it looks like SwaddleMe and Summer Infant are ultimately the same? Either way. Only down side is no easy to way to get an extra sheet but it does dry very fast.
We wanted to avoid buying too much stuff so our registry was pretty sparse. We did end up buying a lot once she arrived and we understood better what kinds of stuff we actually needed.
SwaddleMe Sleeper which we used as a safe sleeping surface on our sofa when she was sleeping a lot in the beginning. We'd also set it down on the dining room table or a desk in the basement sometimes.
Boppy Newborn Lounger which is where we set her for playtime most of the time because she doesn't want to be on her back for very long.
Portable noise machine (you can use your phone but you'll kill your battery)
Bottle drying rack (grass one by Boon)
Some other random things that are so useful: a tablet and bluetooth headphones for the nursery, amazon echo dot which can be used to intercom across the house and to control some smart light bulbs in the nursery or track baby stuff in Hatch Baby, comfy recliner.
We coslept with our kids too. If you don't already have a cosleeper, I highly recommend it. It makes the transition to the crib/bassinet much easier later down the road. Here's a decent one on Amazon.
My biggest piece of advice is to just be patient. It sounds like your baby is very young, so it's normal for your sex drive to take a dive, especially if your nursing. Your hormones can take a long time to normalize, plus it sounds like your exhausted. If you don't want sex, then don't force it. Do what feels right.
If its hard finding a time because the baby is in bed, i suggest making a deliberate effort and find times outside of bedtime. Use nap time or when the baby falls asleep, sneak off to the livingroom. Or, if the baby is safe and happy, take 15 mins and knock it out while s/he is distracted.
Overall, this is a small bump in your sex life. It seems like a lot now, but take it from another mother that it really won't matter much down the road.
No this is what i used. I put a toddler rail on the one side of the bed (because my bed wasnt against the wall and i didn't have anyone to sleep on the other side) and slept with her in my bed with this.
She used this until she outgrew it and by that point i felt safer safely co sleeping with her. If i had to do over again i would have never bought a bassinet bc she hardly used it. I only used it as a safe place to swt her down when i showered, but she slept in it maybe a handful of times. I used a pack and play more so much more. A crib was given to me for her room but again she never used it except for some naps during the day she's never slept in it at night.
Edit: wanted to add there are other by the bed co sleepers that like attach next to the bed that don't have baby actually in the bed with you if you don't want baby in the bed with you. The bedsharing saved my sanity.
I have had mixed success getting my 6 week old daughter to sleep in her bassinet so I feel you! On nights where the bassinet isn't working out, I will sleep with her in a separate bed with her in this thing:
We call it her "moses basket." I think she can tell she's close to me, so she sleeps well. I only sleep alone with her in this though, bc my husband is a heavy sleeper and moves around a lot in his sleep.
Also, on some nights, we have let her sleep in the pack n play napper. It's not technically a safe sleep space, so I can't recommend that anyone else should try that - usually we only use it for supervised naps. But she sleeps well in it, and it seems very safe to me since she can't roll over yet.
On nights where the bassinet works out, I will wait till she's in a deep sleep, then swaddle her, then put her in the bassinet. I can usually get a few three hour stretches of sleep, where she goes down easily in between after nursing. To put her in a deep sleep, I wait until she's tired and then walk around the house with her until she passes out, and then I keep walking for a few more minutes. 🤷🏻♀️
We were gifted this and used it for a bit. I wasn’t comfortable sleeping in the bed with them in general but that helped when we did. You could try something like that till baby gets used to it. I liked it because you could sleep next to them but once they were asleep, you could move the whole bassinet someplace else or leave them in bed without fear of falling.
I honestly have very little information on it. A friend I worked with had a bunch of stuff that she had from when her granddaughter was a baby she gave us. It's the Swaddle me by your side sleeper it folds up and uses a bassinet sheet. It seems very breathable and definitely easy to fold up and put away. I kept it for the same thing though it seemed good for sleeping around the house without using the big play yard. Plus I thought it would be good for grandma's house/ day trips.
my baby slept in this when she was a newborn in bed with just me:
my husband slept separately. it felt very safe to me. i like that it's flat which is good for safe sleep.
now that my babe is bigger she sleeps in bed with me. she's 6 months old. i started just cosleeping without her being in something around 3 months. i tried so hard to make the bassinet work and she did sleep in it sometimes but good god i was so tired. when i finally just started cosleeping i started to actually get sleep every night and started feeling more and more like myself again.
good luck, hang in there.
my little girl slept in this cosleeper, in bed with me (i used 1 light blanket and 1 pillow always away from baby) for the first few months:
my husband slept separately. i liked this cosleeper bc it's flat so other than being in bed with me, i believe it meets safe sleep criteria. i think it worked out pretty well!
my daughter did NOT like sleeping alone and still doesn't. at 4 months i can put her in the crib at night for bed, but once she wakes up in the night i just bring her in bed with me and we sleep great. it works for us! never thought i'd bed share before having her, but i didn't realize until having a baby just how much babies refuse to be alone lol. i love the snuggles at night and waking up next to her.
i used this in bed sleeper when my baby was a newborn:
it worked out great bc she did NOT like sleeping alone lol. i slept alone with her and was careful never to let my blanket touch the basket. i referred to the product i used as a moses basket. i intend to use it again (or something similar) for my next baby! bonus, now that my girl has outgrown it (she's 4 months), i bring it in my bathroom and set her in it while i shower.
good luck and congratulations :)
i had a hard time getting my girl to sleep in her bassinet at first. i bought this thing to safely cosleep with her:
i used that at night, in a separate bed than my husband bc i didn't trust him sleeping in bed with baby (heavy sleeper, drinker, smoker lol still love him tho).
during the day she napped in the napper attachment to the pack n play. i tried to use it only for supervised naps but i'll admit i took a nap or two myself while she slept in that thing, it seemed very safe.
after about 6 weeks she got better at sleeping in her bassinet. she's 3 months now and recently started doing 6 hour stretches in the bassinet at night (hallelujah)! i have the halo swivel bassinet. daytime naps now she does on me or in her swing (the snuggapuppy).
i haven't gotten her to sleep in her crib much yet. she wakes up right after you put her in it i'm hoping she will learn to love the crib by the time she outgrows her bassinet and swing!
My baby would only sleep while held too. She refused to go into her pack and play or her crib. We bought a cosleeper from Amazon that will keep us from rolling on her and keeps her away from the blankets and pillows. She has been sleeping really well in it so far. Maybe try something like that?
We got the SwaddleMe By Your Side Sleeper.
FTM too! I have a pack n play with a changing table attachment but also a portable changing pad because I figure I’ll do a lot of couch and floor changes. Other than that he’ll probably just sleep on my chest all day or in a the swaddle me by your side sleeper this on the couch next to me. A lot of people I know never even really used the nursery until like 6 months (some do but idk if I would personally)
These might be a good option? We're planning on having our twins sleep together in a pack n play bassinet but we'll have at least one of these as a back up in our bed in case they don't do well sleeping next to each other
Cosleeping doesn’t have to be dangerous. THIS saved my life for about 5 months. My baby had a bit of reflux but I had PPA and needed her near me all the time. Seriously. Best invention ever. I rolled up a swaddling blanket and had her sleep slightly on her side (she was also swaddled) by propping her against it. Give it a looksie. It goes in between you and dad on your bed so you can literally pop an eye open and see if baby is in any kind of distress or discomfort. Some would disagree with me about the slight side sleeping but you do what you gotta do.
We got a little nest for bed-sharing for the first three months or so. Bed-sharing is very common in our culture but I liked the extra safety of having a little space for him in the bed. We are pretty small people (I'm 5 ft tall, my husband is around 5'6") and have a king bed so I hope this set up is useful for us.
Then after three or four months when he outgrows the little nest, we'll try letting him sleep in his crib in own room.
I'm a FTM so IDK what I'm doing lol
We have the pack n play but we plan to co-sleep with one of the super cheap in bed bassinets for the first 3 months so that it's easier for me to breastfeed and what-not without having to actually get out of bed
This is the one we have; full disclosure our bed is a king and I am very small so this fits between us comfortably but I've heard other people say that it doesn't leave them much room in their bed
We'll be using the graco pack n play with the raised mattress setting after the first few months until he hits the 15lb wt limit for the raised position, then down it goes to the typical bottom placement
I just bought this thing: [link]
whether he sleeps in it all night, or to just have as a safe thing he can be inside when he's on the bed/couch, i figured its only $30, and has pretty good reviews!
You're definitely not alone. Even extinction did nothing for us. I often slept through him crying out of sheer desperation.
Also, do try co-sleeping if you haven't already. There may be risks, but don't underestimate the opposing risks of never getting enough sleep. And there are easy ways to minimize the risks.
We have a pack and play with the newborn napper about 4 feet away from my side of the bed. When she wakes in the night and can't be settled back down, I put her in a co-sleeping basket next to me in bed so she can feel and smell me right next to her without me feeling like I'm going to smush. It helps, too, because I like to sleep under lots of blankets, so this makes sure she won't get caught under them. [link]
I like to keep it Simple. We live in a Two bedroom apartment, and we used this same set up for Big sister. I was given a beautiful Bassinet with my First child and I actually didn’t even use it because this little travel Crib similar to this worked better. I didn’t have to get up and down all night, I could simply sit up/reach down and get to her, once she was asleep it made it less tempting to co-sleep (just not a safe option for me and my husband)
I’ve used a diaper genie in the past, but I’ve found a paper bag with plastic bag worked just fine, just swap it out every few days.
With my first child we where in a 1 bedroom so a changing table was a luxury that we passed on and just decided to change her where ever, the couch, the floor, the bed, we managed just fine.
The swing we Choose again, in mind for small living is a version of This swing
The clothes organizer works just fine for all her small clothes
Don’t feel bad for going super simple! Once she’s to big or unsafe for the little crib, we do have big sisters crib waiting for her. ��
I didn't end up having to bedshare so I can't comment from first hand experience, but have you considered something like a cosleeper for your bed? I know a few ladies who recommend these. You mentioned there's not much room though, so while this might mitigate the softness issue it won't do you any good if it simply doesn't fit.
You might be able to pair the cosleeper with a folding mattress on the floor in the nursery though. It'll add a degree of separation between you and baby, so that's good, but it'll keep you close and on the same level, which might work.
I was against co-sleeping but we used this and everyone was able to get some sleep. LO was able to transition out of it around 7-8mos old.
Oh this is totally me!!! I’m on a 3m road trip with my baby, living out of our travel trailer! She’s 8m now, but we camped a lot with her when she was over 2m.
Get one with a bunk set up for the long run. We have a Winnebago Micro Minnie 2100bh. We used this bed sleeper on the dinette when she was super small, and now we use this travel crib which is the PERFECT size for the top bunk. We unzip it and slide her in! We have a portable sound machine, and audio only baby monitor as well. We only use the baby monitor though when we go over a campsite like if we are camping with friends/family.
For play, we have a small collection of toys, and the summer Pop n play play yard. There are tons of different brands, but we’ve loved the one we got. We put it on a big roll up foam mat we got from Costco. We also have the Summer Pop n Jump jumper which has been awesome as well since it fits inside our camper. We take this when we eat out at restaurants (on patios that are well spaced, COVID….). We also have a fold down full length toddler rail on our bed. When she was smaller and not able to stand, we used our bed as an inside play area.
We keep driving to a max of 2h, or if a longer day, plan a long lunch break at a city park or view point where we get out our chairs and her playpen so she can get her ya-yas out.
Other gear we swear by: our Bob jogging stroller, Osprey Poco plus hiking backpack (get it fit and use hiking poles!) and my Tula carrier. We also have a kidco pea pod which some use for sleep. We carried a diaper genie and I gave it away after two months and use the munchkin diaper bags when we have a poop diaper and are boondocks going/harvest hosting.
Feeding: I breastfed for the first few months and used the spectra recharging one when I needed to pump. When I stopped pumping/breastfeeding, we just buy water and make formula bottles. I hand wash these in the sink. We have started with real foods too, and use our summer pop up high chair which I don’t love, but works for us.
This is the one we used.
I ordered this one on Amazon. Just ordered it now so I can’t say much about its quality or anything.
Other commenters have covered most of the big essentials, but I thought I'd share two of the items that came in most handy for us: the SwaddleMe By Your Side Sleeper bassinet with a rigid metal frame and breathable mesh sides, and this three-pack of waterproof, washable changing pad liners.
We actually never got a changing pad at all, just the waterproof liners, and they worked out great. We also discovered that the liners fit perfectly inside the SwaddleMe bassinet for extra protection from nighttime spit-ups and diaper leaks, so that was convenient.
The co-sleeper bassinet allowed me to have our baby safely in bed next to me at night for easy feedings while I recovered from my c-section. He slept in it until he was 4.5 months old, and it was so easily portable, we took it everywhere. (I wouldn't say it's necessarily worth the $48 price tag if you have a crib or other sleeping arrangement, but tons of them are available secondhand for $10 - $20, at least in my area.)
We currently still use the changing pad liners at 10 months old, and they've been a godsend for changing diapers anywhere in the house, especially on the bed or couch -- or on the road. They've handled countless poopy blowouts.
EDIT: Oh, and between 0-6 months, Halo swaddles were a lifesaver for us. Every baby is different, so your mileage may vary, but swaddles are worth a shot if your baby has issues falling or staying asleep!
We used this sleeper on our bed till the outgrew it at 2.5 months adjusted.
I'll throw this in here too... if you don't already have one, you might want to get a co-sleeper thing - something like this (not an endorsement - I don't know this one at all... just an example):
Then, I'd probably tuck this cosleeper thing into either the corner on the lower bunk or tie it down on the upper bunk in a bedroom. I don't quite remember "4 month old" stage, but I think that would be a pretty solid plan.
So we bedshared. At first we bought a metal bassinet that sits on the bed, we bought at bye bye baby. https://www.amazon.com/SwaddleMe-By-Your-Side-Sleeper/dp/B00YBADM1O/
If you have something for the baby to eat, I highly recommend you ask your husband to take one over night and you sleep in another room. I would go from 9pm-5am. My husband did that for me anytime we felt like I was loosing it. He would do it on a Friday or Saturday night. I would usually not sleep that who time, I had to pump. But you will be amazed at how 5 hours of straight sleep feels. There are also post partum doulas you can hire.
My husband did overnights for me every 3-4 months.
It’s the SwaddleMe By Your Side Sleeper [link]
Thanks! I had put this thing on my registry but the handles on the basket look super useful.
FTM of a one month old here (born at 37 weeks). Since the hospital, I've been nursing and falling asleep with baby when she sleeps, with her on my chest. I keep the boppy and my arms around her and I sleep sitting up. It's not what's considered recommended but it's working for me so far. She's comforted by being on me and I can better tell why she fusses and take care of her accordingly. I really hope nothing bad happens. I try to be cognizant of her head not being angled down, her limbs not askew, and my hair out of the way.
We have an auto rock and play but she fusses when I put her in there sometimes or if wakes her up then she's like "I'm hungry!" I can sometimes get her to sleep nicely in it though for a decent period of time.
I am planning on getting something like this. If you search amazon for "cosleeper" you find similar products.
Edit to add: have you tried any of the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques? I also heard from a thread on reddit I read earlier today that many people have success at putting their baby to sleep bouncing on a yoga ball. There's also weighted swaddles and sleepsacks. They're what my sister used on her velcro baby.