I used to work for a Christian company and they sent me to this dumb ass training, it was like four days in South Dakota and it was horrible. Also the whole time it was like minus 20 degrees. I took a regular notebook and cut out a square whole in it and I put my eReader under there. It looked like I was staring at my notebook the whole time but really I was reading dirty, dirty novels. The one I remember most was called Swimming Sweet Arrow God damn that book is risque. Chapter one two women are having sex with their boyfriends right next to each other on this farm. I loved it. Something beautiful about the juxtaposition, doing training with a Christian company and reading naughty, naughty books.
This led to one of the biggest riffs in my relationship with my ex. When we started we were both fun and free and easy going. We would go to concerts and bars and casinos and have laughs, lots of laughs. Not very long after we had kids she took a hard right turn- super into Jesus, Fox News, young earth, homeschooling, all of that. I...did not take that turn with her. Instead of being honest with her I just went along with it. Oh, cool, a Sunday School party on Saturday, yeah, sounds good. Anyway I kept enjoying the same things but just on the dl- playing poker and saying I was "Going to the gym" Getting smashed on weekends I was "going canoeing" And Amazon, holy shit my Amazon order history is full of some naughty books. Some of it was 50 shades of Grey type of stuff but some got way crazier. I read this book called Swimming Sweet Arrow and I was like- Yes, this is my jam, I want to read every book like that.
My ex said "My Amazon password isn't working, let me have yours to order this." Turns out you can't delete your Amazon order history, she cried for days when she saw all that.