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Can I recommend to you the book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD? Whenever I have any relief from severe depression, this book is my bible. I can scan in a few important pages for you tomorrow if you want, but honestly if you have any bookstores or libraries nearby with a seating area, definitely seek it out and read as much as you can to see if you can read it comfortably (while medicated).
Yeah! It's called Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. It's one of the most helpful things I've read since being diagnosed a couple years ago. Really explains how executive dysfunction works, as well as a lot of other helpful info. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386/
This book was recommended by my doctor who specializes in ADHD and has an ADHD child. He recommends it for parents (and kids when they grow up.) He (my doctor) just gets it, if you know what I mean. This book is practical and amazingly helpful. My doctor said it was the best book on ADHD.
Good luck and congratulations on your daughter's success! That is sincerely so awesome!!!!! 🎉🎉🎊🎊🎈🎈🥳🥳
>Oh really? I don’t really know where to start! If you have some resources I’d be super grateful but please don’t go out of your way! :)
This book was recommended to me on this subreddit I think and has a lot of great strategies.
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Barkley posits that parts of the ADHD brain are up to 30% “younger” in development that age peers. So if you feel that way (same), there’s a reason! Book has great tips for doing the executive function things that are expected/demanded of adults but “let slide” for younger folks + a real explanation of what is goin on in the brain. Good luck!!
Russell Barkley's Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. He is one of the foremost experts on ADHD, having participated in and published tons of research since the 70s, and his book is full of evidence-based tools for managing ADHD
https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
This book, without exaggeration, is a game changer. Dr Barkley has spent his entire career studying adult ADHD and the book is specifically written to be easy for us to read. Hell, the first page tells you to "skip around" and read whichever part catches your attention because he knows damn well you aren't gonna be able to go cover to cover. Full of little infographics and shit to keep your attention...
It won't take the place of therapy or medication, but it'll definitely help. And I usually vehemently disavow "self-help" crap...
Adding to what /u/Bookbringer said, I've been listening to Dr. Russell Barkley's book, and he made an interesting observation. He noted that, generally speaking, the people who were diagnosed earlier had more severe cases of ADHD. On the flip side, people with milder cases and later diagnoses were frequently being treated for anxiety, depression, or both in addition to the ADHD. He argues that this is probably because ADHD either causes or severely exacerbates major self esteem and failure issues, both of which can easily contribute to or even full on cause A&D. In terms of how to deal with your doctor, I would say something like this:
"Hi (doctor) ___, while I agree that I show a lot of symptoms of depression and would probably benefit from treatment, I still think ADHD is worth looking into. I believe I show a lot of symptoms of it, and given the nature of my depression I think that these symptoms might be a contributing factor. If nothing else, exploring the possibility would make me feel calmer, because at least I'll know a little more about how my mind works.
Thank you,
/u/drakeymod."
It has been my general experience that proposing a combination of two conditions gets a better response than focusing entirely on the one that your provider doesn't think is the culprit. Furthermore, any doctor worth their salt should either help you look into this further, or be able to give you one hell of an explanation for why they don't think that's the case. On the off chance that your doctor is in the latter group, seek a second opinion, because if you're right (and I suspect you might be), then ignoring ADHD when treating depression is like trying to put out a fire beside a leaking oil drum by beating out the flames: it's horrifically inefficient.
> I personally lean towards Dr. Hallowell's perspective because I've found it more helpful in my day-to-day life
Yeah I think I agree - I think Barkley's stuff is phenomenal for explaining the validity of ADHD as a condition/disorder/disability/etc and explaining why and how it's not just an matter of discipline or laziness or know-how. Hallowell's stuff is great because it includes that but, like you said, helps with the daily management and I find it helps me feel validated and stay a little more hopeful.
I do have Barkley's book on managing adult ADHD on my reading list though so I'm very curious to see how it compares to Hallowell's practitioner approach.
It sucks sometimes but it's the lot we have and we can make the best of it. It's just harder but we can set ourselves up for success. I highly recommend this book as a start.
I agree, his videos are absolutely amazing. I was watching the 30 things about ADHD series, and was brought to tears more than once.
On my first visit my psych recommended a book about adult ADHD, which ended up being amazing. I didn't appreciate it at the time, but it is written by Dr. Barkley. Great stuff for adults.
I'll start. I've been reading Russell Barkley's Taking Charge of Adult ADHD.
This is a very science-informed but easy to read book. He is arguably the expert on ADHD and breaks down what he believes to be the root causes of ADHD, the available treatments, and some strategies for coping. His approach is informed by available studies on adult ADHD and focuses on specific neurological deficits in executive function. Pro-medication, pro-coping mechanisms/strategies, anti-behavioral modification.
I can recommend this book - check the appendix on ADHD symptoms starting on page 269. It has both the official diagnostic criteria as well as the consensus and hard numbers on other factors which strongly correlate which ADHD. It's detailed, and above all it is reliable and well-researched - exactly what you should strive towards for your app to be as good as possible.
What I strongly recommend against is collecting ADHD criteria from either laymen (say, reddit users), unreliable or mixed sources (you can find any number of screening tests online) or more importantly from sources which require interpretation best left up to a doctor. That is why I recommend Barkley - his book has the exact list you need from a comparable context, so adapting it should be relatively easy and likely to benefit from the rigour that has gone into his work.
You're doing a good thing. I hope you'll make the ADHD component worthy of your app.
So previously the diagnosis was split into ADD and ADHD, as far as i understand, but it's now an ADHD diagnosis that can fall under innatentive type, hyperactive type, or the multi type like you and I. There's some really great books on ADHD on this list here as well as this one my psychologist recommended
in the short term, i've found the short comics made by ADHD alien (posted on twitter and their website under that name) really helpful for understanding some of my experiences. I've only been officially diagnosed for about a year and a half, and it's been a crazy learning curve. I still have a massive 'OH!' moment about once a month where something new clicks into place about why i'm Like That.
I hope you find something that makes sense for you though, and if you need to talk about anything feel free to inbox me :)
Hmm....chronic lack of motivation, severely underperforming, giving up too easily, ended up far below the projected potential. That's literally me. Have you ever checked yourself for undiagnosed ADHD? It doesn't matter if you got good grades in high school. A lot of people with ADHD develop coping strategies when they are in school, but performing well takes so much more effort compared to 'normal people' that they burn out completely in early adulthood. That might also explain why you had too little mental energy left to tackle the obesity problem.
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TL;DR: Find a way to check yourself for ADHD. A diagnosis and correct medication might change your life.
If you don't have money for a therapist/evaluation, try at least to check out this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
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Just a heads up: adhd_partners is incredibly toxic. It's full of vile, hateful people who believe that people with ADHD are unlovable and unworthy of being in relationships with other people. Not everyone there is like that, but it's an extremely common sentiment. Most of the advice you're likely to get there is "get out while you still can".
As for your main question: your partner needs to get properly diagnosed. It's possible they might have something that's not ADHD. This will help confirm what their problem is and how to best approach it.
If their problem does turn out to be ADHD, then the solutions are a combination of meds and setting up external structure: chore charts, planning out how to do assignments and splitting them into manageable parts, externalizing anything that needs to be remembered into notebooks/post-its/whiteboards/calendars, etc. Russell Barkley, one of the leading ADHD experts, has a book for adults full of evidence-based tools and coping mechanisms that can help. His lecture on the nature of ADHD is also a very important, very informative watch. He's a great speaker and manages to stay engaging the whole way through.
I've also heard good things about these books:
https://www.amazon.com/Adult-ADHD-Tool-Kit-Facilitate/dp/0415815894
https://www.amazon.com/Organizing-Solutions-People-Revised-Updated/dp/1592335128
> Is this a good approach? How can I replicate this behaviour for future essays without the "event"?
Have him set artificial deadlines, and put a reward on the line for each one. A favorite meal or snack, doing some bonus activity he wants to do, some fun time. Like Barkley says, "what's the sex, the drugs, the money?" We're reward-motivated, and rewards need to be consistent and near-term. Abstract future goals might as well be meaningless to us.
Jeeez man, given a positive diagnosis I'd 100% get in contact with a Psychiatrist and trial medications until you find one that's good symptom control with minimal side effects.
It sounds like you were over prescribed given the numbness, too much of a stimulant causes that. Or medication that doesn't agree with you. I trialled 2 other types before settling on my current one with no side effects. Ideally they should be trialling low dose and upping it, stopping when symptom control is good and side effects minimal/none existent, swapping if it lacks desired affects. Some research would be radically useful but just some basic stats: medication brings ADHD sufferers to "normal function" in between 70-85% of cases. With a further 5-6% finding it helps somewhat.
I can only speak anecdotally for myself, but its been radically effective. I started taking medication in April and since then my life has turned around significantly. I can actually study and apply myself to my uni course, I exercise, I work, I get up at 8am rather than 2pm, I can focus allowing me to actually read books, I don't get that "the worlds a grey bleak emotionless place" feeling anymore that'd occur when my dopamine flatlined. I started philosophy and Stoicism seriously a few months after, rather than surface level bits and that's helped yet further, really found a purpose for my life. Don't think that would have happened without being able to apply myself, I don't just drift about daily, almost mindlessly anymore. Its been revolutionary honestly.
So Yeah, I'd probably advise reading: Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell A. Barkley He's been a ADHD researcher/clinician for 30 odd years, books basically a full breakdown of the condition, steps to take clinically for diagnosis/medication, what meds do and can solve, etc. Plus 1/2 the book is strategies for overcoming issues with ADHD whether you take meds or not. Given how they gave me control of my life, I'd always encourage people to try medication but it's a personal choice.
I really hope folks aren't internalizing my post as more evidence that they've "wasted so much time" - or some other bit of self-talk that's ultimately just a narrative they took from others and now use to beat themselves up.
I'm not saying that's what you're doing at all, but it's something I would have done only a few years ago, while reading a story like this.
So I'm going to tell you another story:
It's a common narrative among ADHD-ers who grow up being told that their impulses are wrong, their emotions are wrong, their actions/daydreams/work ethic/abilities/etc....are wrong. We sit there and think "fuck it. Tell you what, World, why don't YOU tell ME what's right and I'll stop guessing..." so we externalize our entire concept of who we are, how we're doing, and what we should do. A lot of the time that looks like becoming a 'people pleaser' because we wait for the other person to tell us who they want, then we try to be that - our sense of self-worth is based on our value to other people and we calculate that value by what the tell us.
That, and/or we give up on what we wanted to do with our lives because we figure what's the goddamned point? I'm so far behind, I'm so different, and the things I'm told I'm supposed to be are so difficult for me to do that, even if I figured out how to start, there isn't time to do become that anyway....
AND NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!
That internal narrative is so fucking hard to shake because we're so used to it we don't even know it's a narrative - we simply think it's the way things ARE. So when someone gives us a compliment about the kind of person we are it makes us nervous be WE know better. We get stuck in a cycle of avoidance because nobody likes feeling like shit all the time, and we're impulsive to boot - so bring on the video games, substances, confidence-affirming-but-otherwise-empty sex, whatever...
Our sense of self can become so fragile that we tell ourselves (and others) stories about how this great, new, next thing is gonna be the thing that sorts out all our shit and makes life meaningful in some way. And we're so afraid of another rejection that we will defend ourselves from even the slightest criticism - especially if someone we care about is upset at us for yet another thing we didn't MEAN to do (or something we totally DID mean to do...but didn't get done). We want to tell them they don't need to feel upset, especially not at us, because we didn't do it on purpose, we're trying as hard as we can, this is all just a big misunderstanding...please don't go.
And the whole time we're saying all this, the other person - this person we care about - all they're hearing is "you're wrong for feeling that way". Their feelings are invalidated, they feel like we're gaslighting them - and they're right...even though it's one more thing we never intended.
So yeah...bummer.
But I wanted to tell this other story because I hope anyone who read the first, also reads this second one. If they do, I hope they know that even if this second one describes them perfectly, but that first story seems impossible for them...it isn't. And I know that both of these stories are mine.
It's really, really hard; it involves a lot of unlearning, letting go of our dearest coping mechanisms, and questioning facets of our identity - even then you still have ADHD, it's just that somewhere along the way you don't hate being you anymore.
None of us have a time machine - so the soonest you can start is now. And before someone turns this into yet another thing they'll torture themselves for not doing...this isn't a process with a set amount of time it takes to complete, and with some set metric for success. You're not DONE. There is no done. I'm not talking about a destination, an accomplishment, or ARRIVING anywhere - I'm talking about leaving where you are now.
There is no way to fail this and there is no deadline to start. There's also no end, so kicking yourself for not starting sooner is a meaningless concept - you are ALWAYS who you are today, you can ALWAYS do something to create a better version of you tomorrow. This is a road, not a racetrack, and you're the only one on it.
Keep going.
Resources:
https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IONKA7W/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance_and_commitment_therapy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-act
Taking charge of adult ADHD might be the best, because you can understand your own ADHD.
150mg is still a pretty big jump to stop but it would very much depend on how you were reacting to it.
>For their defense I'm very bad at explaining how I feel.
It's a great sign you are willing to own your role in your care. But also, in your defense, it's very hard to describe without the vocabulary to do so... and even more difficult when you are in the throws of it. So... be gentle with yourself.
ADHD is pretty well understood these days. Of all the things... it's the least debilitating once treated.
I have ADHDi. I prefer the extended release Ritalin (Concerta) or extended release Dexedrine. I did not like Adderall (unless it came from the manufacturer Corapharma... long story but short version is Adderall and I had a tough go of it). Dexedrine was the one I liked best but insurance gave me a hard time and wanted to put me on Adderall. The thing is... dexedrine is the primary amphetamine salt in Adderall. Adderall is just dexedrine plus two additional amphetamine salts that give it it's "punch". So they were trying to force me onto MORE stimulants than what I had been using effectively for a decade. Our health care system isn't really about health. It's about profit.
My spouse also has ADHD and she prefers immediate release Ritalin. The nice thing about those types of ADHD meds is if you find you don't like them you can just stop. If you've been on super high doses for an extended period of time it might take you a bit to adjust back to not having it but really, for seeing if it helps, it's easy to go on/off if needed without all the crazy titration that is required of SSRI/SNRIs.
This is a great resource on adult ADHD: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1606233386/
And this is a great channel on YouTube with short accessible videos on it: https://www.youtube.com/howtoadhd
I think that’s actually a big step that you’re having an internal conversation with yourself about what you want to do, even if it’s a big struggle.
I learned in the book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD Taking Charge of Adult ADHD (recommended by my therapist) that one of the executive functions is called Nonverbal working memory. As little kids, we all have to talk to ourselves out loud to remind us of the “rules.” Like a kiddo saying to themselves “Color in the lines” when doing a coloring book. As the frontal part of the brain normally develops, in neurotypicals that voice becomes 100% in their head and they often don’t even notice that their brain is reasoning with them, arguing, coming up with reasons why they should feel internally motivated to follow the rules. It happens “automatically”.
For us w ADHD, that part of the brain didn’t normally develop, it’s smaller and sorta behind! So the author argues that we should do what we know works in previous developmental stages. I’m trying to take the advice to talk to myself (even out loud!) when I don’t want to do something and reason with myself as to why it will feel great to accomplish that task. Also trying to come up with positive internal motivators (rather than being mean to myself and putting pressure of others’ anger/disappointment/judgement if I don’t.)
For example: my partner gets so annoyed at me every time I leave his/my dirty clothes turned inside out in the laundry and he’s asked me a million times not to. Him being mad and me being afraid of making him annoyed didn’t work to “fix me.”
What has started to work is - in the moment, when I wanna leave the inside out shirt stuffed on the floor- explaining to myself the pro’s for turning it right side in before putting in the hamper and washing. Internally I groan that I don’t wanna take the time, but I respond and say “this will save me time when I’m folding clothes (a chore I hate) and help me avoid letting clothes pile up on the floor (which makes me feel better in a tidy space)”.
I’m sorry it hurts for you, I relate!!!! Feels literally painful and I’ve not mastered my big avoidances, but this info helped me start. Hope it helps
This is a good place to rant :) I'd be shocked if anyone here hadnt felt the way you feel at least during some chapters of their life.
I want to share a couple resources:
- Faster than Normal - I'll be honest, Peter's ADHD is pretty different than mine BUT what I loved about this book was his perspective on the diagnosis. It's (in his and my opinion) not a mental illness, but a neurodivergence (an often beneficial one). Neurotypicals have a different set of skills, and the world is built more for them than it is for us, but we do have a lot of advantages. Your ADHD skills may be different than mine, but my ability to abstract and synthesize disparate information from all over and make unique inferences has been a totally unfair advantage. It still amazes me sometimes when I figure out that NT brains dont do what mine does, and it makes me undersell my own capabilities. I'd bet that you undersell your special brain features as well.
- Russell Barkley's Taking Charge of Adult ADHD - like a user manual for my brain. Again, I felt like some of the examples were too dramatic, but it also made me realise, ok, this brain is different but different does not equal bad (it certainly can lead to bad outcomes if we dont learn how to manage/harness/love it :))
We don't judge fish based on their ability to climb trees. If you're trying to force yourself to be an accountant or technical QA writer, you might just be trying on the wrong hat? You don't have to be (and cant be!) good at every job - but trust me, there IS something out there for you where your skills will shine.
Get her a coach! I’m working with this person, she’s super helpful: https://www.theadhdlady.org/ . Get her a good ADHD book! https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386 .
Ugh, that can be the hard part. I know this isn't a solution, but keep looking and in the meantime keep in mind that cis women are substantially underdiagnosed for ADHD (tons of info on this in the sidebar). Many, many doctors are used to the "boy version" of ADHD and don't recognize how it can manifest in the "girl version". Don't let their ignorance make you feel broken. There are many good resources on this sub for how to accommodate your disability even without meds, but here are a few that I have used or heard good things about:
- https://askjan.org/disabilities/Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity-Disorder-AD-HD.cfm (this is about workplace accommodations but you can apply them to your life and workspace in school)
- The how to ADHD YouTube channel. i think this video is a good starting place: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo08uS904Rg. Some people find her irritating, but she helped me a lot when I was first diagnosed.
- This podcast was recommended to me: https://adhdfriendlylifestyle.com/
- These books were just recommended in my work's ADHD chat: https://www.amazon.ca/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386, https://www.amazon.com/BRAIN-HACKS-Life-Changing-Strategies-Functioning/dp/1641521600
Hey I’m 23M and am currently going through what you just described to the T... Recently diagnosed with ADHD, experiencing depression/anxiety (the anxiety causing depression), and even the depressive episodes after Adderall...
Personally, Zoloft was helping a lot to combat my depression & anxiety in my personal life, but when it came to school/work it still triggered symptoms because of my undiagnosed ADHD at the time. And by the way, ADHD is comorbid, so it’s completely normal for it to cause other mental illnesses while it’s left untreated.
So back to Adderall. This was supposed to be our solution; the fix-all for ADHD... And by treating the ADHD (our core issue for depression/anxiety), it should fix our other illnesses, right? Well, if only... Lol. I started with 10MG XR and have currently worked my way up to 20MG, and as I was increasing my dosage, expecting a magic number to suddenly fix all of my symptoms, nothing of course happened. I got more done and stayed on top of things more, but I also spend days in bed to compensate...
Turns out, adderall is very taxing on our bodies.. You have to be on top of your shit health-wise for this medication to work properly without it defeating you once it wears off. This means constantly drinking water, getting enough sleep and excessive, and staying on top of your nutrition. The latter probably being the hardest because, ya know, appetite suppression. Regardless, it’s extremely important to good habits so you don’t end up paying the price through a depressive episode later.
Although adderall calms us down and helps our brains stimulate normal dopamine production, it’s still a stimulant we’re taking we’re going to feel burnt out once it wears off if we’re not taking care of our health. Eat 3 meals a day on a tight schedule, and drink enough water to wear you’re using the bathroom every 2 hours.
Also be very mindful of your sleep.... You mentioned staying in bed. I’ve noticed that if I don’t get enough sleep before starting my day with 20MG XR, the drug will make me more tired and it’ll actually cause me to stay in bed all day.
Read this to understand more: The reason why adderall makes you tired some days
Hope this advice helps, OP. Staying on top of my health is something I’m focusing on because I’m right there with you. This drug has caused more depression than I had expected, so I’m hoping that maintaining better habits makes a difference (because lately I’ve taken poor care of my health). Also, as someone who was recently diagnosed, my psychiatrist reminded me that adderall can help ADHD symptoms, but it’s still our responsibility to manage the disorder. She recommended this book: Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. I purchased it and it’s been right here sitting on my desk for the past week, so I should probably read it lol. But I guess that pretty much further proves I’m ADHD :P
Sure! This book has helped me immensely.
Heya.
Right, in typical adhd fashion I procrastinated replying so I'm now going to reply as a form of procrastinating doing work!
R.E courier just make sure you are at home and have ID when they turn up.
I'm glad it's all being sorted for you, I remember one of my biggest issues was organising my doctor to issue a new prescription and then finding pharmacies that had stock...was a right pain even without pandemic.
I still recommend calling up a week before your script is due and making sure everything is on track.
Treatment has been a mixed bag for me so far. It's been life changing to get a diagnosis at 26 and finally get an explanation for why I am the way I am and to stop blaming myself....medication is a very useful tool and I'm able to finally study and get some work done...
The biggest surprise for me was the way medication affected my tertiary mental health, I have comorbid anxiety and depression and have tried a few anti depressants over the years.
My psychiatrist made a point of not putting me on any other new medication and told me to try just the elvanse and see how that worked. He felt ADHD was the route cause and that by treating it the comorbidities should also improve.
Elvanse in the right conditions removes my anxiety almost completely, ..and can be very helpful at treating the apathy from depression as well. I am still depressed again and I can still be anxious but that is due to external stressors and not looking after myself.
Eating enough and sleeping enough is key to getting the most out of medication.
I'm still struggling with life and don't have the coping mechanisms or organisation techniques to hold down a job and really get a handle on my ADHD. Medication is a life changing tool, but that's all it is. A tool, you still need to make changes and help yourself. If you have the chance to do so, I highly recommend getting a therapist that specialising in ADHD coaching.
I highly recommend this book, it was the only resource my psych recommended: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
So did you have to pay for your treatment? I don't know anything about psychiatry UK I'll look it up? Mine was £500 and then I had to pay £100 monthly for my prescription untill being transferred to shared care.
I had my diagnosis done and titration done totally privately by the same Psychiatrist who is the lead for the NHS in SW UK and is the same person doing the public NHS diagnosis work...amazing person and went above and beyond to help me.
He only did a few private sessions a week and was working flat out fully booked with NHS public appointments. Still stung a bit to pay privately for the same service I should have had for free on the NHS.
I originally sought a diagnosis 3 years ago, butbut have up after seeing the huge waiting list and limited medication approved for adult ADHD in the UK put me off. it's a special kind of irony for those with ADHD having to wait and fight for treatment.
Sorry that was a long rambling and borderline incoherent reply, might try edit later.
I've gotten so much help from reading these books so aggressively recommended by the sub. I feel so much better about, well everything, since I ordered them for myself:
<strong>Taking Charge of Adult ADHD</strong>
I'm still working on them, slowly, but having both around makes it easier because I can hop. Plus, Driven to Distraction cites at least a couple things from Taking Charge.
The way it feels to me so far, is that Taking Charge is "what" ADHD is, and DtD is the "how" it affects us. Not to say they aren't both amazing at both! They are!
There are quite a few, and the lectures are long.
https://youtu.be/XYmPWq8QPQg
I also have this book of his:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1606233386/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdb_btf_t1_6snxFb6YEP887
Find a new doctor and then buy this doctor this book: https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
Hey no problem haha ! :)
I will definitely check it out ! Thanks
For school, the only thing that really really helped me (so far) is to do a new list every single week without fail of what needs to be done that week (for each class). I place it in order (most urgent to the least). So I don't want to think what needs to be done in two weeks, or in three weeks because it gets me anxious and I just can't plan ahead (efficiently) that much.
I know it is easier said than done.. I am kind of aweful with lists in general, and to be able to do it in itself is kind of a challenge (before medication, it was almost impossible for me. So don't give up if something doesn't work) What really helps is to break each bullet point into really small & precise tasks. If you need to read a chapter, say, from page 100 to 200, you can break it into three or two tasks, so it feels more 'rewarding' once done.For me at least, it is my lack of basic skills (to be organized, lack of inhibition, time-blindness, constant forgetfulness, etc.) from my lack of executive functions that caused (and still causes to a much much lesser degree) all my anxiety and made me end up in a deeply depressed state for a few years.I have also bought a book off of Amazon from Russell A. Barkley a few years ago (when I got diagnosed), Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. (Canadian site) The book is really really helpfull. It is a very easy and interesting read & really made for easily bored people (heh). It talks about the diagnosis process and how to deal and develop strategies once medicated.
Another thing I did was read as much as possible about the condition once I got diagnosed. I haven't had therapy yet, but I want to try it in the future (in order to develop better organization skills and whatnot). I study psychology right now so in itself, it is very helpfull and insightful. What I found (in the classes I took) that could help me the best, and that I could relate to to the most was Focused Acceptance & Comitment Therapy (FACT). I learned about it in a class about addiction but I found it so fascinating and I really think it can be applied to anyone who has problems with avoidance** , the anxiety that comes with it and procrastination. Also Mindfulness would be very interesting. I didn't look for good books regarding these therapies, yet. It is definitely something I want to look into.
** what I mean by avoidance (Évitement in french, so I don't know if it is the 'right' translation) is to be in a state of fear of confrontment (confrontation?). It can be, per example, anxiety with schoolwork, the workplace, etc.. Or even small things, like meet with a friend, or go to a new place.
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD is a great one. I own that one and it has lots of practical tips on how to manage your ADHD.
Also, this one explains how and why our brains evolved to have executive functions in the first place:
It's more for deep understanding of human nature and why people with ADHD are so impaired.
There are a couple self-help books that come to mind:
this is the mostly suggested book for adult adhd (no idea about your age) http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
I definitely think CBT with a therapist is something you should pursue. Before I had even made the connection that I might have adult ADHD, I started seeing someone who specialised in meditative therapies, his background being in Buddhism. I was a bit hesitant at first because, well, it sounded a bit hokey to me but it was actually very helpful. Something he said that is the perfect description for our condition (at least for me) is that "your mind is like a stallion running wild. We want to tame it--not break it--so you can take control of it". For whatever reason, that outlook helped a lot. Unfortunately, I had to stop seeing him because my insurance ran out but I would go back in a second.
Fast forward about a month and I have been formally diagnosed and am getting on medicine (its a clinical trial, 3rd phase--so we will see what happens) and until I get back on insurance I plan to use a couple books I found via a video that was actually posted by u/roland00 on another thread. (BTW that video was a lecture by Russell Barkley and was immensely helpful, so thank you very, very much u/roland00) Anyway there are a bunch out there but I went with this one and this one. Check the "customers also bought" section for others. Good luck on your journey!
Have you read any books on living with ADHD? There are some steps in Taking Charge of Adult ADHD that can help with this.
> I just can't man. I am the same way on meds, I absolutely hate it. They ruined my social life every time I have started on them since my diagnosis when I was 7, hell I'd say they ruined my fucking childhood. But I just can't function without them. Especially after the last time I started taking them again, I was a dumbass and abused them pretty badly. Realized where I was headed and managed to go 2 weeks without taking them, got over the depression and anxiety from the withdraw, but I just started failing everything without them. So I had to start again. I just can't avoid it. I'm not physically addicted anymore, I can not take them for extended periods of time, but my ability to focus is so shit now without them. Gonna see my doctor next visit about trying a different medication. That shit is fucking evil.
If you are having problems with abuse, and Adderall works for you in general, try Vyvanse. Vyvanse is designed to work like Adderall but to not be abusable.
Also you may need to cut your dosage. Try to find the minimum dosage that works for you. Use that in conjunction with therapy. Therapy + Medicine is far more useful than either on its own. If you do not have access to therapeutic resources (and do check for resources in your area, many of them are sliding scale!) then check out some of the books by Dr Russell Barkley
If you honestly follow through every exercise in the linked to book, your ADHD will improve. It isn't easy, and some of them may seem embarrassingly stupid (turns out it is possible to be embarrassed writing something down on a piece of paper that only you will ever read!), but the steps outlined in there are backed by years of research and they will help.
There is also the possibility that the Adderall family is not right for you. Try things based off of Ritalin instead, and if that doesn't work there are a ton of non-stimulant ADHD medications you can try.
Also remember that co-morbid syndromes may need to be treated as well. ADHD meds don't do much good if depression has set in. (ADHD and depression have a nasty "what came first, chicken or the egg" relationship going on.)
And finally, remember that if your doctor isn't willing to work with you, get a new doctor. The goal is to improve your quality of life. If that isn't happening, your doctor isn't doing his/her job.
It would probably more helpful for her to be asking the questions if she's willing to be helpful. Complaining is not going to be a successful strategy for her. She needs to help set up the household in a way that is helpful.
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
http://www.amazon.com/Stopping-Coaster-Someone-Attention-Disorder/dp/0981548709
No problem! It took me a while (years, actually) to realize and to come to terms with the fact that I have ADHD. I've just started down the same road (diagnosis a month or so ago) and am still figuring things out, so I know how rough it is. Finally getting my diagnosis was a tremendous relief, and hopefully will be for you too. It's really empowering, to be honest, knowing this sort of thing about yourself, because you can finally start to deal with it in a healthy, effective way. If you've got time, you should watch these videos by Dr. Russel Barkley, one of the foremost ADHD researchers (and a very nice guy, I might add). He has also written some books that elaborate further into the disorder, covering treatment options, how to mitigate your ADHD symptoms in various aspects of life, and other coping mechanisms This one in particular should be helpful (I'm reading it now and am enjoying it very much): Taking Charge of Adult ADHD.
If they're rational and read English, this book is extremely persuasive. Particularly for parents, in whom the respect for dead trees is at times deep-seated.
I should have covered that, you're right. Lack of foresight on my part. Russell Barkley describes it as perseveration. We have it backwards: rather than focusing really well, instead we fail to react to new appropriate stimuli. Getting "stuck", as it were, doing the same thing. I think this is why we (I say "we" because I strongly identify with your experience) don't have a big problem with fiction, which is interesting from moment to moment, while textbooks can prove less straightforward. That's also why Barkley describes it as a "time blindness" in his book. I strongly recommend getting the book, by the way - it really helped me conceptualise how ADHD impairs me.
He has a book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD which would have more treatment information. I have not seen much of this info in videos.
He basically said that ADD/ADHD isn't a real condition.
In my opinion, the right thing to do is to talk to a doctor. If a doctor evaluates you, diagnoses you with ADD or ADHD, and then suggests treatment with medication, you should probably follow his advice.
Along with going to a professional, I would recommend this book (not a ref link) to anyone with ADD/ADHD who wants to do something about it instead of ignoring it.
Popular alternatives to Taking Charge of Adult ADHD
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults w/ Attention Deficit Disorder)
Driven to Distraction (Revised): Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder
