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The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts?
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I see that someone else has already brought up the 5 Love Languages, but I strongly recommend you either buy the book or borrow it from the library, and read it. Ask your girlfriend to read it, too. It's definitely not a magic pill, but it brings up some very good points, and if you can each learn to show love in a "language" that the other speaks, you'll both be much happier.
Get the Love Language book. Find out what each of you respond to. If you are speaking the wrong language to each other, the wooing will be hard. I could tell you how my husband woos me, but odds are it wouldn't translate. Taking care of a baby is exhausting and the first three years of having a baby can be hard on a marriage.
I'm sorry you find your friends' gestures to be so empty. I'm about as non-materialistic as they come, so I understand all too well what it's like to receive a gift that misses the mark. There's a chapter in The 5 Love Languages that I think you'd do well to read. Your library probably has five copies of it, so it won't cost you a dime to read.
I suggest this book. Basically this book shows the different ways people express and want to receive love. Find his 'love language' and then communicate to him with it. Hopefully he will reciprocate. If he doesn't right away, but you know you are making a difference, you might tactfully recommend this to him as well.
Sorry I don't know one but have you read the book, "The 5 Love Languages?" I feel like that book should be mandatory reading for anyone in a relationship. It's a quick read too only a 150 pages or so. It took my then fiance almost a year to get me to read it but after I finally did I could see why she wanted me too. It really opens your eyes to the expectations your partner has, why they are different then your own and thats ok, and how to deal with them.
good luck!
I also recommend this short book. It's saved some marriages.
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-That-Lasts/dp/0802473156
Read this, then take action.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156
You both need therapy and counseling. You should each see individual counselors and a third counselor for the couples therapy. This counselor should not be one who is one of your individual counselors.
You need to give your husband a little slack right now. He's probably trying to adjust to being a new parent, the same way you are. Unfortunately, he also has to deal with you becoming a verbally and potentially physically abusive monster, so a lot of the "whatever you say" behavior is probably to avoid confrontation with you. In other words, part of the reason why you're in this hole is you grabbed as big of a shovel as he did.
Until you get your abusive behavior under control, blaming your husband for the problems is a really crappy thing to do. Sure, he may have his own issues to deal with (I'm willing to bet that he does) but you're admitting to your own faults, and they're very significant ones.
Neither of you have appropriate or healthy communication skills right now. Nor do you have healthy conflict resolution skills. Counseling and marital seminars can help you with that. Books like The 5 Love Languages and Love and Respect are good places to start. You may also find Non-Violent Communication a useful guide to help you.
Please do your child a favor and seek counseling and try to save your marriage. You'll need to learn how to do all this regardless of whether or not you can save your marriage. If you want to be a healthy parent for your child.
She needs to read The 5 Languages of Love
One of the languages is physical touch which she isn't speaking to you.
tell her you both fucked up and if she wants to work on it, you are committed to working on it as well. go to couples counseling or get a relationship book - this one is kind of sappy but dang if it isnt helpful
leave and move on to better things
since you two were commited enough to move in together, maybe try #1. otoh, you are both young and its not bad to admit a relationship doesnt have a future.
It most likely isn't going to get better with your wife. I know the pain of being with someone who doesn't care about your sexual needs. She is happy with the way things are so why should anything change?
It sucks because sex is probably one of your love languages so you are missing that part of love you want to share and receive from your wife.
I know you /r/deadbedrooms is depressing, but I will tell you, but it just happens to so many people. Here are a couple more links for you... but I will tell you, they are going to still be depressing:
(this link is sorted by the most popular posts) http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/332?sort=popular
(this link is sorted by the most recent posts) http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/332?sort=recent
So yeah, I am giving more than a couple of links... Here is one story that was on that forum but the user deleted her profile and story but I managed to save it before it completely disappeared from the internet (made it into an image because I didn't know how else to link the PDF file):
http://i.imgur.com/npRNKaV.jpg
And then there is is forum thread:
http://forums.menshealth.com/topic/63643898167189984
You should seek marital counseling with her, but I don't know if she will agree to go if she doesn't truly acknowledge there is a problem.
There is also a book about identifying your partner's love languages that you could both read and hope it helps:
But reading so many other peoples' stories it is pretty obvious it is more rare that things get better...
Pretty rarely.
Gift giving isn't really one of my "love languages."
I don't know,what if you aren't Christian,plus I saw this: >http://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-That-Lasts/dp/0802473156
>primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.
>gifts
I would be very wary of a woman who insisted on me expressing my love in gifts.I believe there's a name for that in pop culture.
I can see I was too brief but the full story would be pages. We know each other extremely well. She is my best female friend and maybe my best friend. I am her best male friend I think. The funny thing is we have one of the strangest relationships of any two people I know, I have talked to her about it careful not to use the word love but she knows I do and she always falls back on confused about how she feels for me. All of it is kind of irrelevant since college is in two months but yeah it's good knowing it probably isnt just hormones at this point. I didn't think it was because six years seems too long to be hormones just wanted to see if anyone with a similar situation has a retrospect story. pertinent The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.
If you have the time, look through this book. It's a little general, and putting it into practice takes some communicating with your partner, but it makes you realize some things that you may already know.
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