What is Reddit's opinion of The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life?

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

I’d recommend checking out this book or something similar: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=854c308a-f183-45da-963a-d5771841e877

It has some good thinking exercises to help you drill down on the reasons why you want a kid and help you make sure it happens for the right reasons. Remember, you’re not just having a baby, you’re becoming a parent.

> But the way I see it, if it’s not 100% certainty, then you shouldn’t do it, right?

Very few people have 100% confidence in whether they want kids or not. You just have to figure out which decision you’re least likely to regret. I found this book to be quite helpful in figuring it out.

If you’ll want kids and she won’t, it’s unlikely to work out in the long term. But you have a lot of time to figure it out, there’s no rush.

I’m convinced there was a pregnancy pact this year that everyone except me was in on, so I feel you. I just worked through a book that I felt was really helpful at figuring out my feelings on if I actually wanted a kid or it was just peer pressure. It was “The Baby Decision” by Merle Bombardieri and it was really unbiased imo. It’s definitely something you can work through on your own and just use it to guide the conversation if your partner doesn’t want to do homework.

That’s exactly where she should apply logic.

You need to pick up a book about deciding on parenthood (link below). Your girlfriend’s thought process is exactly what you should be doing too. It’s not fair to bring children into your home without proper thought and preparation. YTA.

https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6

I've never been pregnant, so I can't answer any questions about that. But it jumped out to me when you said you're not genuinely excited about the baby. Pregnancy is definitely tough but it's also ~9 months compared to ~20 years of actually raising a child. So separate from pregnancy/childbirth, is child-REARING something you want to do?

I highly recommend reading The Baby Decision with your husband if you haven't already. They have a ton of exercises to help you separate all the different aspects of parenthood (pregnancy, birth, early childhood, later childhood, impacts on the rest of your life, etc. etc.) and help you get a clear picture of where you stand.

I totally recognize that the pregnancy and newborn phase scares you, but it may be helpful to put that in context with all the other phases and impacts of parenthood to decide if you think it's worth it for you.

I highly recommend the book "The Baby Decision." It has a lot of questions / activities to help you decide if you want to be a parent at all. It's written by a licensed social worker. It's also open to different types of parenthood, such as foster/adoption. My plan is to adopt when I'm almost 40 because I, too, believe I'm a prime candidate for PPD problems and don't want bio kids. The book was still helpful for me to realize that I do in fact want to be a mom, but definitely not any time soon.

There’s a really good book called “The Baby Decision” by Merle Bombardieri

It is written for all ages, genders, sexual orientations, single people, married people, natural conception, adoption, IVF, etc.

It’s very therapeutic and walks you through things to think about and ask yourself and your partner in order to get you closer to making a decision. Obviously It doesn’t tell you what decision to make. But it shows you the path with questions and examples.

The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FSZ51J6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_R4HXKAACNV1M4RTZY05N?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

I'm not sure how old you are, but I think a lot of millennials in the U.S. feel this way. I'm 32 and just now looking at buying a house — my parents bought their house a good five or six years earlier than I am. The crazy economy/job market and student loan debt have set a lot of people in my generation back. Sometimes it can seem like those lucky few (wealthy people, celebrities) have gotten their adult card earlier than the rest of us. But you are far from alone.

Though there's nothing wrong with seeing how famous people manage their lives, I wouldn't compare yourself to them. Obviously they may have money and resources that you might not have access to that make this decision easier (re: full-time nannies.) Have you read The Baby Decision? It really helped me sort through what I think vs what other people think — and it doesn't push you toward having a child or being CF.

In dem Buch The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life gibt's ein eigenes Kapitel für genauso Menschen wie dich. Ich hab das Kapitel damals nur milde interessiert gelesen weil es für mich nicht relevant war, aber ich bin mir sicher dass es dir (so wie andere Kapitel in dem Buch mir) weiterhelfen kann.

Ich hab das Buch auf Englisch gelesen, aber auf Amazon gibt es das auch auf Deutsch: Die Kinderentscheidung: Wie Sie die wichtigste Entscheidung Ihres Lebens treffen.

Vielleicht magst du auch Mal in ein paar subreddits stöbern, vielleicht kannst du dich mit ein paar Posts dort identifizieren. r/fencesitters und r/singleparents vielleicht?

Just wanted to suggest -- Both you and your husband could try working thru The Baby Decision book (https://www.amazon.in/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6). It might help to gain a better perspective.

Not at all! I did read more than one, but I'm fairly sure this is the right one.

The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life by Merle Bombardieri

https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1652117146&sr=8-1

Not all of the advice in it was great for me, but some parts were really helpful. I think the thing about mourning a different life path is applicable to many things in life, so that really stuck with me.

You may find some helpful advice / thought exercises in the book "The Baby Decision" by Merle Bombardieri to help you make a decision: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6

The fencesitter sub may be helpful as well: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fencesitter/

This is a hard situation. Wishing you all the best.

"The Baby Decision" is a good book on the topic: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6

There's also a subreddit dedicated to people hesitant to have kids: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fencesitter

Here's the link for the book on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8