Sometimes, initially, it was just because surface doubts (including self-doubt) got the best of me, and in those cases we often got back together again. Eventually, if deeper issues persisted, we broke up for good.
To be more in tune with myself in the way I described in my previous response, I think I first did a lot of research about women’s issues. I grew up with all brothers and by the time I reached menarche my stoic mom had already had a hysterectomy due to health issues. I love reading and learning, and when I was a teenager I read a book called The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls, which gave me a new historical perspective.
I did a lot of writing and reflecting, by journaling my thoughts and feelings. I paid attention to myself, just like you’re doing, and sought to understand myself more when I felt my emotions creep out of control. I didn’t necessarily try to stop them when they came up, but honor them for a moment, allow myself space to express whatever I was feeling, and let it pass through me. Then move forward with confidence and trust in myself.
In adulthood, I adopted practices like yoga and meditation. I continue to read and learn new things, being open to greater truth and understanding. I check in with myself often and regularly participate in professional therapy sessions.
Good luck on your incredible, feminine journey. After hating myself and my body in girlhood, I have learned to continually embrace my own femininity. It’s a process that never quite ends, I’m afraid.
Some quick reads: here and here. Or you can look into books like this one. I also like The Beauty Myth. A lot of feminist literature has great discussions about how and why women struggle with body image problems.