Hi, sorry this comment ended up quite long and containing quite a lot of (heartfelt) advice, so please feel free to dismiss it, as you’ve marked the post Venting.
I just came here to say, I really wouldn’t worry about smoking atm. It’s way down the list of priorities imo. Very hard to give up during a stressful period. Hell, I say anything (within reason) that calms you down is fine, while you work out some longer term strategies.
I’m back smoking again since my life fell apart, and am overweight too, and honestly, I’m not worried. I know those things can be taken care of after I get through this rough patch. No point in putting extra pressure on about stuff that’s non - emergency, and even has some emotional- regulation qualities like a bit of comfort eating and a lot smoking!
I used to binge eat really problematically, which I no longer do, and I just wanted to recommend Ali Kerr’s books. I read The Binge Code, and she has one for bulimia, The Bulimia Help Method. I did six months of their coaching. It was expensive but I’m almost totally free of my eating disorder now. Can’t recommend them enough. Their coaches are all people who’ve recovered from ED’s.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bulimia-Help-Method-Revolutionary-Approach/dp/1503151921
The other thing I wanted to say, and again, please ignore if you want, it’s just my take, if you haven’t already tried it, is DBT. I’m only 6 weeks in, but I can see how it will change my life.
Think it’s a case of when you’re ready for it though, I really had to get to rock bottom before I was open minded enough to put down my guard a little, enough to try a new approach. But if you can get access to it, Id definitely say take it, because as far as I can see it’s the best (perhaps only) way out for us.
Sorry this ended up very long. But I just feel passionately that there is help and a way forward for you out of this hellscsape, as I’m beginning to discover.
Good luck with everything.