Yes! Get all the American Girl books. There's a whole series on how a girl's body develops, how to deal with peer pressure, etc. Here's an Amazon link so you get an idea of what they're like. Start with this one, and get as many as you can where they are listed as "Customers who bought this also bought". I'm a female and have daughters, and I feel comfortable talking about this stuff, but it really helps if I forget to talk about something or if my kids forget what we've talked about.
p.s. You're an awesome person! Best wishes to you and your niece!
There's a great book for girls that age called "The Care and Keeping of You" they have it on Amazon and a lot of bookstores like Barnes and Noble. That helps a lot- especially if you read it before giving it to her to prepare for the incoming questions. It's also best to stock up on some pads (day use and overnight) before she starts so they're ready for her when she needs them. It's all new for her so going with you to buy them may feel embarrassing and awkward. Pre-teen girls have too many emotions to begin with, so avoiding that can help. Keep in mind that this stuff can start early- my mom got her first period at age 10- it's best to prepare as early as then. Hope that's a little helpful! (source: female. Also a nanny for a ten year old with loads of puberty questions)
EDIT some words
Get the book The Care and Keeping of You.
It's a great way to discuss body changes in a matter of fact, age-appropriate way. And it will provide a natural opening for you to mention the bad bloody nose.
Btw - have you ever tried taking vitamin K? Some people are vitamin K deficient and therefore their blood doesn't clot as well. For our family,, bloody noses is the most common clue we need to up our vitamin K levels. I haven't noticed a hormonal correlation, but it may at least reduce the severity of your bloody noses.
As most everyone replying has said, buy both! However, do not get OB tampons as they do not come with an applicator. Try to find something with a plastic (vs cardboard) applicator, as they are easier to insert. And avoid scented products, because those can cause general groin irritation.
Quick edit: Further advice. I found that having books about growing up helped me with knowing about my period. This was the book I liked most. It's slightly outdated, and might be embarrassing to buy for your daughter, but I guarantee it (or a similar book) will help both of you when the time comes.
My mom was also useless here, so my dad took me to see my female primary doctor who kindly recommended this book. It includes pictures on how to shave your body, how to insert a tampon, how to measure and choose bras, and other things that she will have to learn about herself and her body. It's a little awkward, but as long as your supportive and go through it with her, I think it will be a good experience for you both!
There is an awesome book that I got my girls. I think it was. An American girl book. It went through all the changes. We would read a section every night. Then discuss. this book
There's a really awesome book from American Girls that talks about female puberty.
The Girl Book is a great place to start. Flip through yourself as a guide for you and your daughter. Answered a lot of questions for myself when mum bought it for me.
I'd recommend picking up this book, The Care and Keeping of You, giving it to her to keep at your place. This can help be a resource for her to check in on stuff if she's the type who may not want to openly talk about everything. When you give it to her tell her you were recommended it by some other women who found it really helpful. Then add that you are there for her if she has any other questions, that you'll try to keep the bathroom stocked with period products and that you want her to let you know if she finds anything she prefers because you want to make sure she has it available.
This is literally the best book ever. I had it since I was around 9 and it was so informative and has great info!
Edit: $8 on Amazon with prime shipping too! link to book
Hey so along with all the great advice in here, there's this really incredible book called The Care and Keeping of You, it's by the American Girl brand which I think most christians support pretty well. It goes over everything and is intended to be read by girls your age, so it shouldn't be that confusing or vague. It's a really popular book and is still accurate today, so I'd highly recommend seeing if you can get your hands on it!
Here's a link to it on amazon: The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (American Girl Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i6xVBbXR7JS5P
I feel bad for your daughter and wish I could personally send her a copy of The care and keeping of you by american girl. Sheesh.
ETA waddaya know its marketed to preteens starting at age EIGHT its gets into all the nitty gritty even gasp how to insert a tampon!! Oh the horror of being educated on your growing body!!
https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
The language they use just assumes that girls will be embarrassed to talk about their puberty, ashamed of their bodies, etc… and it’s like written in a reassuring kind of tone, but it’s just weird to assume that attitude because not all girls will necessarily feel that way. But then you’re presenting it as if it’s just typical/expected and idk it felt weird to me. I didn’t want my daughter, who hasn’t yet expressed any negativity about her body, to read that and plant it into her head.
Edit: read the Amazon reviews https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834/ref=nodl_
Hey OP, just wanted to say you rock for being a stable home for this girl during such a chaotic time! Have you checked out this book? Maybe you can casually mention that the book really helped you at that age, or a friend recommended it? Maybe with everything going on in her home she hasn’t been taught proper hygiene methods. Regardless (like others have mentioned) CPS should definitely hear about what’s going on. Even if they can’t do anything, it’ll start a paper trail in case things get worse so proper action can hopefully be taken quicker. Again, you’re a super incredible person for taking the initiative and caring enough to step in and help out. Best of luck!
i bought all these books for my daughter when she was that age. made talking a little bit easier.
Do yourself, your wife and your daughter a favor and get this book. CLearly, your wife is gonna be the kind to try to hide her daughter's own period from her. Girls are getting it younger and younger. I got mine before 12 years old. How is she gonna handle that? Has she even had the "period" talk with her yet?
I’m so glad I was given that American Girl book you may have heard of. It didn’t teach me everything I needed to know, but it sure was an age-appropriate introduction to my body.
Hi, I would give her the book “The care and Keeping if you “ by American girl. I had it around her age. It explains periods, cleanliness, consent and a bunch of other things. It’s a good reference for her, it’s something small but might be helpful. Here is a link… https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
I am going to second all the posts about getting her a nice bath kit (loofa, body wash, some sort of wet naps, new toothbrush, toothpaste, new hair brush/hair accessories, bath bomb, scented body spray with glitter if she likes glitter, fun lip balm). I would also recommend including this book: The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (American Girl Library) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_V1Q79F9M25DC3XEBHXBS. It can help go over some of the "embarrassing " bits and give her some info. You can tell her you are available for questions if she has any.
I recommend this book from American Girl for anyone with tween girls who want to get them educated about their bodies but are hesitant to sit them down and have a big talk about it: The Care and Keeping of You.
I gave it to my 9 year old and she just ate it up, not only the parts about puberty but also general hygiene (tooth brushing, hair washing, etc.) I see it open on her bed daily. Highly recommend for this age.
Yes. It’s important to take care of your body. Whether that means being female or male. There is nothing wrong with penis and vagina care. We are humans and those are parts of our body and we must take care of our bodies. Do you have a vagina? I recommend this book: The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (American Girl Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834
The book "The Care and Keeping of YOU" is a great resource for younger girls 👍 the first one focuses on puberty etc, and the second one for older girls gets into the birds and the bees.
https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
I loved the book called “The Care and Keeping of You”. It was an American Girl book. It taught me all about my boobs, periods, products, etc. It was a great book. Sorry if someone has mentioned it already but I’ll include a link just in case you haven’t heard of it: The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (American Girl Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VVJT94WBF7ED0MPMM4HD
The earlier you stay taking to them and letting them know they can come to you with anything the better. I had this book before puberty and got it for my boyfriend daughter when she was young too, "the care and keeping of you" https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_EHHE4P60BGXYH2AASBWD. It can be helpful for you and your daughters. I was a shy kid so having a book rather than having to ask questions was good for me.
American Doll makes a line of books to help with things like this. Might even want to read it yourself before you give it to her (if you decide)so you are prepared for things you may not know questions she has.
I get so irritated at other parents who find bodily functions and normal biological occurrences taboo and unspeakable. When my daughter was 8 or 9, I bought her a book geared specifically to her age group about adolescence, puberty, and menstruation. I wasn’t totally comfortable with broaching the subject, but I figured an “expert” would be able to get the ball rolling so I could answer questions and continue the conversation. Now, at 11, body-stuff is just non-issue and while we remind her that conversations aren’t necessarily “public” content, she (and her brothers) can always talk to us about it.
I have a feeling your mom probably grew up in a household where female bodies were a mystery of unspeakable horrors that she had to be ashamed of. That kind of close-mindedness carries down, and it takes someone brave and smart like you to break the cycle of ignorance and misinformation. You (and your brother) will be better for knowing and understanding the truth, and for him, go on to being a more support partner in adulthood (if he has a female partner, of course). NTA
ETA - here’s the link to the book, if anyone is interested. There is a whole series of similar books for young girls. The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (American Girl Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_4YDAPMK187E8FA0WYTYY
HIGHLY RECOMMEND “The Care & Keeping of You” by American Girl, which the same company that makes the dolls. This book was my go to at this age for answers and explainations. It’s an illustrated book that easily explains bras, periods, nutrition, hygiene, and everything in between. It saved me and my mom from many awkward conversations and ensured I was getting accurate information about puberty. Thanks to the book, when I got my first period, I knew exactly what it was and what to do.
Bonus, it’s only $10 on Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_t1_iViYFb3D2FS5V
There is an American Girl book called Taking Care of You. You can find it on Amazon, at Books a Million, or Barnes and Noble.
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (Ame... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_4UgDCbSPQ8EEP
https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834/ref=nodl_
This book was a godsend when I was going through puberty. It taught me everything I needed to know about hormones, periods, bras, hygiene, emotional changes, etc.
It’s about $5-7 on Amazon and it was an amazing resource when I was growing up.
I would also recommend looking into the way her school approaches sex education. Some schools still take a religious or abstinence-based standpoint which can contain factually inaccurate or less than helpful advice.
I would make sure she understands what healthy relationships look like; how to use her voice if she needs to say no to something, and has the comfortably to come to you if she is in a situation she needs to get out of (I.e. picking her up if she calls to leave a party).
Make sure she has the information or training to practice proper self defense, and feels empowered to listen to her inner voice to stand up against peer pressure.
Make sure she has someone to talk to about body image and has a healthy relationship to food. Being in sports or other personal growth building activities can help immensely in building confidence in young women.
Most of all, make sure she knows that you love her, and are there for her. Give her ideas for someone to talk to if she needs a woman to ask questions to about embarrassing topics.
I also highly recommend keeping the following in her bathroom: tampons, lube (for said tampons, the first time using can be painful and scary), pads, wet wipes, condoms, and emergency contraception. The latter might be saved for when she’s a bit older, and if you aren’t comfortable purchasing these things for her, I strongly recommend taking her to planned parenthood when she is ready so that she can make safe and informed decisions about birth control.
Best of luck!!!
Idk if you'll ever get to read this based on the thousand comments already on here, but this book was super helpful to me as a girl entering puberty: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_xKVtFbM2RZQYD. It talks about periods, bras, hair growth, etc. Good luck!
This doesn't quite answer your question but American Girl has the book The Care and Keeping of You. It's a great way to get the puberty discussion going so the girls can read it on their own and come to you with any questions.
Depending on how much she knows, you could look into ordering her this American girl book or the second version of it. If you have Amazon prime you can get one day shipping for not that much more. It will tell her all the basics of what she needs to know.
Dad, this may be just what you're looking for!! Likely only for the older kiddo now (she'll LOVE that she has a mature secret from the littler sib) but there's also a Part 2 for when she's more grown.
Read it first so you can anticipate questions. Best of luck!!
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_EUI8vb6Y6J9DQ
These American Girl books really helped me. My parents explained a couple things, but if I didn't want to ask I could look at these books: https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
edit: Spelling
Also, they are in two parts now, which is pretty cool.
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (American Girl Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_nk0aGbGPCNW4N
Journals, adult coloring books, art supplies.
First of all, I just want to say that you are a great dad for thinking of this ahead of time. It really shows that you care about your girls and their well-being through what can be a very tough time.
As far as advice goes, I know 9 seems young, but you may want to talk with her sometime soon about what to expect. Sometimes girls can get their periods early, even as young as 9 or 10, and it is better that she is aware of the possibility, rather than being frightened and uninformed if it happens before you get around to it.
Are your daughters close with your sister? They may feel more comfortable having a female to look up to and for guidance with these types of things. She can also be a good person for you to bounce questions of if as well.
There are also some awesome books out now about puberty, periods and everything else that goes along with it. I highly recommend “The Care and Keeping of you” it’s a series of 2 books, one for both younger and older girls.
Amazon Link Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_KpSdEbE2VAFMC
Amazon Link Book 2:
The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580427/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YsSdEbH5079KS
librarian here. NTA. if you feel it's too inappropriate, then you're in your right not to let them read it. here's the thing with kids, if they're not interested with a book, they'll put it down. your daughter may have started reading it because it has sex. she's at an age where she's gonna be curious about sex, puberty, and what feels good to her.
here's a book to get started: https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834/ref=asc_df_1609580834/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312089887152&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4665373924568018919&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&h...
don't give it to her, leave it somewhere where she can find it. on the coffee table or amongst the magazines in the bathroom. if you try to force it on her, if you keep asking her if she's read it, she'll be resistant and won't touch it out of spite. let her come to it. be patient
while you're waiting, there are dozens of other books that can appeal to kids, even those who don't like reading. start with graphic novels. Big Nate, Bones, Smile, or even pokemon. get the popular books of today, not classics. Captain Underpants, Dork Diaries, Elephant and Piggy, percy jackson. don't worry if you think she's reading below her level. the point is to get her to read, period. hell, if she likes fanfiction, let her read it
read the books yourself. find out why kids like them, and make sure she sees you reading them. once again, don't force her to read, just give her options and let her figure out what she likes. even adults have the tendency to read one genre/author/subject for their entire lives.
go the local library and ask if they have any programs for her age range. anime club, 3-D printing, movie night, just so she can be familiar with the library, the local kids, and the librarians. treat your library like a second home. don't only go for homework reasons. summer reading is coming up, so ask about the special programs. this year's theme is space and the 50th anniversary of the moon landing.
It’s totally normal to wonder about your body! Please don’t be embarrassed or think it’s gross to ask questions and learn.
There are a couple of books that might be useful to you now that you’re entering puberty. The first one is called The Care and Keeping of You. It’s written for young women like you who are starting to notice changes and have questions, and is a great resource. There are two of them, the first one is for 8-11 years and the second is for preteens.
The second book is a little more in depth, and is written for women in their teens/twenties and beyond, but it’s so chock-full of information and wisdom that I think every woman of every age should read it. Our Bodies, Ourselves is written by women, for women, about women, and has information on practically any topic you could wonder about. It has sections on our anatomy, puberty, sexuality, relationships, careers, parenthood and more. My sister gave me a copy when I was twelve or so, and it was so valuable to have straightforward answers to all the questions I was too embarrassed to ask. I’ll be buying one for my daughter when she’s your age!
I hope you and your dads can find a way to learn and grow together, because though they might be ignorant about what you’re going through right now, they’ll have to learn so they can support and guide you through the next few years.
As a mom of 4 daughters, and my youngest are 10, 12 and 13....I can tell you the book by American Girl called "The Care and Keep of You" is absolutely amazing!!
it covers everything!! Everything a young girl needs to know and it doesn't just cover how to take care of her body or what to expect with body changes, but it covers social issues too.
All 4 of my daughters used that book and I can't recommend it enough. You can get it on Amazon here:
“The Care and Keeping of You” was a godsend for me growing up in a religious family. It’s more on the puberty side, but it was informative and Catholic-parent approved.
This book is frequently recommended, if you want to give her a reference. You can (obviously) get it on Amazon, or Barnes and Noble would have it if you want it now.
https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-Revised/dp/1609580834
These self care books are made for young girls and helped me alot especially because I was so embarrassed asking my mom and no one would know I was reading it
Sorry for my delayed response. Here are some of the things we used:
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/
This one is pretty decent for puberty in general. It helped that my daughter is obsessed with those dolls (mostly the copycat versions from Target, etc.), so your mileage with it may vary.
This is a super useful blog post: http://www.confessionsofthechromosomallyenhanced.com/2021/05/down-syndrome-and-preparing-for-puberty.html?m=1
Another article: https://www.parentingspecialneeds.org/article/tips-for-when-your-special-needs-daughter-gets-her-period/
Here’s another book we have:
It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families https://smile.amazon.com/dp/0763668745/
These are the undies she wears: https://www.knixteen.com
My wife mentioned one thing is that we had to do was to really direct and encourage her teachers, paraprofessionals, therapists, etc. to not use euphemisms or coded language. Instead, talking to her by saying things like, “Oh, it looks like your period bled through to your pants. Get your clean clothes from your backpack and run change.” or “Oh, do you have your period? Run get your period underwear from your locker and change in he bathroom.”
Of course, how that plays out will be up to you and your daughter and your circumstances. We just found that saying stuff like “Is Aunt Flo here?” or other coded language just baffled her and she didn’t know what they were talking about. Shocker, I know.
I have three daughters (ages 20, 20, and 17) and a son (age 15). Every kid is different in how they want to talk about body stuff. Try to think of it as an ongoing dialogue, not a one-time Q&A session. Car rides are always the best for conversations with kids and teens because they don't have to make eye contact with you.
If your wife is a menstruating person, maybe you and your daughter could go to the drug store together and one of the items on the shopping list is tampons or pads. Basically you want to model for your daughter that you're not embarrassed to select and purchase feminine hygiene products. Our daughters have always known that they could ask their dad to pick up pads for them because they grew up seeing him buy them at the grocery store.
There's a book called The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls that I highly recommend! It's age-appropriate, and body positive. Menstruation is covered but it talks about all the physical and emotional changes. I like that it's not just "You And The Scary Red Menace," you know? It talks about body hair and says that some girls/women choose to remove some body hair and some don't.
I always suggest to moms and dads that they read the book as well. It helped me answer questions in a more positive way and reminded me to always focus on "your body, your choice" when I talk to my kids about this stuff.
For any other parents/caregivers/older siblings on here, I also recommend:
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Older Girls
The Feelings Book: The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions
The entire series of The Smart Girl's Guide to ... (Money, Knowing What to Say, Middle School, etc.)
For mid-teens (and assuming your family has a sense of humor) How Not to Be a Dick: An Everyday Etiquette Guide
Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys
The KidsHealth website, which has sections for parents, teens, kids and educators.
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (American Girl Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TH5HX5ZDP5C3XVJN8M51?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Get a book and read it together to learn about puberty in general and why periods happen. Buy some products and experiment. Learn how to use a pad together. Have her take it out, unwrap it, and stick it on her underwear. Buy a box of tampons and watch a YouTube video and take one out of the wrapper and pop it out so she can see what it looks like and how it works.
Here is the book I recently bought and read with my 9yo
The Care and Keeping of You: The... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
There is also a version for older girls
The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580427/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_32DQRVCE2WYXMGE2WZTT?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Replying to your comment to suggest some books for your niece
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls
The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls
Also, YTA. Yes, your brother and BIL should have been more prepared and had the period talk sooner, but you’re beating a dead horse here. They know they messed up and they feel guilty!
You should have used the 2nd discussion to talk about other things their daughter needs to know as she goes through puberty. Perhaps offered to talk to her yourself since you have first hand experience (men can obviously google, but it’s not the same. their daughter would probably be more comfortable talking to/asking a woman questions).
Apologize and buy the books for your niece to educate her and your brother/BIL.
I recommend the american girl books about this topic. Super informative and age appropriate for the daughter to read and the men to read too. Here’s a link.
https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
There's a lot of good advice in here so I'll just drop this book my mom gave me: The Care and Keeping of You. I must have read it about 50 times.
Have you provided her with any books or other age-appropriate material to help her satisfy her curiosity WITHOUT including you guys on the conversation? It's totally normal for her to be curious, but it's also totally normal for her to not want to be like "hey so what's a blowjob?" to her parents.
Some recommendations for books to provide to her:
https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Older-Girls/dp/1609580427
American Girl: The Care and Keeping of You This brings back vivid memories of being shocked but so much better informed at a 3rd grade slumber party.
These are some very popular American books on the topic:
https://www.amazon.in/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
https://www.amazon.in/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
https://www.amazon.in/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729
https://www.amazon.in/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745
A few years back when I was searching I did not find anything by Indian authors, but now it seems there are plenty on the topic from an Indian perspective. This for example seems interesting:
https://www.amazon.in/Menstrupedia-Comic-Friendly-Periods-English/dp/B00TF757PM
Hey, I have some book suggestions for your sister:
​
The Period Book (might be a bit advanced depending on her reading level though)
Ready Set Grow which is especially good because it leaves out sex stuff and focuses on what's happening physically
If she starts struggling with peers or at school, I'd also recommend looking into a therapist. A lot of people treat therapy as something for "really bad situations" or something, and based on the background your parents have that may be the case, but even just a little bit of emotional turmoil or "otherness" at a formative age can be handled better with the guidance of a good child psychologist, so it's something worth looking into.
First, your mother is treating you like her THING, not a person to respect. From experience, that won’t ever change.
The Care and Keeping of You and Our Bodies, Ourselves are both great manuals, if you will, for the female body.
NTA. Also, if she’s a decent reader, get her a book about puberty, something like The American Girl The Care and Keeping of You https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
In addition to showing her videos, I’d recommend getting her books about puberty she can look through on her own. I recommend this book as a classic option. If you can only get one book though, I really recommend this book. Neither delve into sex but they go over everything related to female puberty and explain anatomy.
I would get pads and tampons geared toward teens (color wise and stuff) and let her know where they are.
You also could get a journal and keep it somewhere that your SO wouldn’t regularly come across it and tell her if she ever has a question she’s embarrassed to ask out loud, she can write it in there and you’ll write back.
Just gift them. “Hey, I saw these and thought you might like them. Let me know what you think or if you want to talk about anything.” Also, a subtle way to get kids more invested in hygiene is by getting them things they might enjoy like a personal bathrobe, their favorite soap, etc. They’ll be so eager to use their new things that they won’t really think about them as hygiene items.
The Care and Keeping of You: The... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
The Care and Keeping of You 2:... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580427?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
The Care and Keeping of You 2 Journal (American Girl) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609581083/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_rhRwFbSQRXM4G
The Feelings Book (Revised): The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609581830/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_-2QwFbTZNEEEE
Your Happiest You: The Care & Keeping of Your Mind and Spirit (American Girl) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683370201/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_OgRwFbYK0FY0V
The Ultimate Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens: Overcome Insecurity, Defeat Your Inner Critic, and Live Confidently https://www.amazon.com/dp/1641526106/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_fjRwFb9TWEXXB
Your post is heart-melting!! Sounds like you three are doing great. You’ve received some awesome advice so far. I just wanted to share a couple of books that were extremely helpful to me as a young girl/preteen. They’re from American Girl’s Advice Library, which has a ton of lifestyle/advice books on a wide range of topics for girls your daughters’ ages. A lot of the topics look really cool, but I can only vouch for these two:
1) The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls
2) The Feelings Book: The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions
The body book was especially precious to me and taught me things I would have been way too embarrassed to ask, like the different types of bras (and how to go about trying them on), when/how to start shaving my legs and underarms, and breasts/body types. The sections on pubic area, pms, and getting your period are informative and normalizing. I still have my copy of the body book and was just looking back through it and man, it’s just so straightforward and sweet.
Anyway, best of luck to you and your girls. Sound like you’re doing awesome.
P.S. Could LEGO sets be something y’all do together?
This is the book: the care and keeping of you.
I've heard a lot of positive things about this book.
Edit: There is a 10+ version now, as well.
Get a book aimed at girls her age, like The Care and Keeping of You 1 or Ready, Set, Grow!. Read through it with her, and make sure she knows she can ask you anything. It's never too early to start that discussion - even if she isn't dealing with these changes herself yet, she likely has friends and classmates who are.
American Girl puts out some pretty good books for girls about the things they have to go through. This is just one link but there are a few. http://smile.amazon.com/The-Care-Keeping-You-Younger/dp/1609580834?sa-no-redirect=1