{"product":{"product_id":"1558749608","title":"The Complete ACOA Sourcebook: Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love","price":"17.95","image_url":"https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41FOaqS1g+L._SL500_.jpg","url":"https://www.amazon.com/dp/1558749608"},"comments":[{"body":"If you haven't checked it out yet, you should read [Adult Children of Alcoholics](http://www.amazon.com/Complete-ACOA-Sourcebook-Children-Alcoholics/dp/1558749608/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8\u0026amp;s=books\u0026amp;qid=1273508500\u0026amp;sr=8-3). I found it helped a lot in figuring out why I do some of the things I do.\r\n\r\nI've heard there are groups around for ACOAs. There don't seem to be any where I live, but if there were I'd check them out. It'd be nice to be able to get to know some people that can actually understand what it was like growing up in a house full of alcoholics.","subreddit_name":"pics","author":"CdnGuy"},{"body":"If looking for books, highly recommend:\r\n\r\n[The Complete ACOA Sourcebook](https://www.amazon.com/Complete-ACOA-Sourcebook-Children-Alcoholics/dp/1558749608/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=acoa\u0026amp;qid=1602782886\u0026amp;sr=8-2)\r\n\r\n[Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughter's of Alcoholics](https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Daughters-Adult-Alcoholics/dp/1558749527/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1CK25F7XLA45W\u0026amp;dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=daughters+of+alcoholics\u0026amp;qid=1602783001\u0026amp;sprefix=daughters+of+alco%2Caps%2C199\u0026amp;sr=8-1) (If female)\r\n\r\nBoth were life changing for me. I would think you could find them in a library if money is tight too. Finding ACOA has been so great for me to know that I'm not the only one out there. The hardest part of being a child of an alcoholic is the isolation and shame it creates. So it can take a long time to find out how many people have actually been through similar things, because we're all shamefully hiding our secrets.\r\n\r\nThere are also all of the Alanon materials that some people find helpful, but  that hasn't fit as well for me personally so I can't recommend specifically.\r\n\r\nGood luck! I know you'll get out and things will get better!\r\n\r\n#","subreddit_name":"AdultChildren","author":"-Konstantine-"},{"body":"You are here, you already started. Give yourself credit for showing up. here!\r\n\r\nIf you don't like your therapist, a few things you can do are - tell them about how the approach isn't working for you (trust me it took me a few therapists to realized that they worked for me - you are paying them to support you, so if you aren't happy with the work, you can tell them, and if need be they can refer you to someone who may be a better fit. This is way more common a practice than people may realize - particularly in the US - therapists will not get upset or mad at you if you don't resonate with them, or they may be able to adjust their approach).\r\n\r\nThe Complete ACOA Sourcebook: Adult Children of Alcoholics: at Home, at Work ([https://www.amazon.com/Complete-ACOA-Sourcebook-Children-Alcoholics/dp/1558749608](https://www.amazon.com/Complete-ACOA-Sourcebook-Children-Alcoholics/dp/1558749608)) saved my life -if you do anything, get that book. It helped me realize there wasn't something innately wrong with me, and after more than 10 years in different kinds of therapy, including trauma therapy, I am revisiting it after a series of challenging years with family members. \r\n\r\nYou are capable of making friends, and you will learn how to love yourself more and more each day. It takes time and you already are showing up for yourself by posting here. Much love to you \u0026lt;3","subreddit_name":"AdultChildren","author":"awwsnapcracklepop"},{"body":"Reposted instead of editing multiple times.  \r\n\r\n\r\nI can see that the links for Al-Anon's webpage aren't working. It looks like it has removed the 'alateen' part of the URL. Also the quiz has been moved. I have amended the URLs in my comment below.\r\n\r\n* [Al-Anon Family Groups website](http://www.al-anon.org/home), including their quiz, [How to know if you are affected by someone's drinking](https://al-anon.org/newcomers/self-quiz/)\r\n\r\nJust noticed that the Go Ask Alice article URL is also incorrect. The correct one is:\r\n\r\n* Article: [How can I help my alcoholic family member?](https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/how-can-i-help-my-alcoholic-family-member-0)\r\n\r\n\u0026amp;#x200B;\r\n\r\n## For Concerned Family Members\r\n\r\n[/r/stopdrinking](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking) is primarily a support community for those looking for help with their own drinking. As such, this often isn't the best place to ask for advice regarding a friend or family member with an alcohol problem. You are welcome to post to this community, but please be aware that your question may be better answered in another forum. Here are a few resources for friends \u0026amp; family looking for advice.\r\n\r\n* [/r/AlAnon](https://www.reddit.com/r/AlAnon) \\- Al-Anon community on Reddit\r\n* [Al-Anon Family Groups website](http://www.al-anon.org/home), including their quiz, [How to know if you are affected by someone's drinking](https://al-anon.org/newcomers/self-quiz/)\r\n* [Information for Adult Children of Alcoholics](http://alcoholism.about.com/od/adult/Adult_Children_of_Alcoholics.htm) at About.com\r\n* [National Association for Children of Alcoholics](http://www.nacoa.org/) and their [Information for kids page](http://www.nacoa.org/kidspage.html)\r\n* [SMART Recovery](http://www.smartrecovery.com/resources/family.htm) \\- Support and resources for friends \u0026amp; family of Alcoholics and/or drug addicts.\r\n* Article: [How to talk to a friend with a drinking problem](http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/has90412.page)\r\n* Article: [How can I help my alcoholic family member?](https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/how-can-i-help-my-alcoholic-family-member-0)\r\n* Article: [What Can You Do When An Alcoholic Won't Get Help?](http://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/forcing-alcoholic-into-treatment/)\r\n* Article: [Why can’t alcoholics learn to drink in moderation?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/3130/why-can-t-alcoholics-learn-to-drink-in-moderation)\r\n* Book: [The Complete ACOA Sourcebook: Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love](http://www.amazon.com/The-Complete-ACOA-Sourcebook-Alcoholics/dp/1558749608)","subreddit_name":"stopdrinking","author":"Plastalmonus"},{"body":"Which link wasn't working?  \r\n\r\n\r\n## For Concerned Family Members\r\n\r\n[/r/stopdrinking](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking) is primarily a support community for those looking for help with their own drinking. As such, this often isn't the best place to ask for advice regarding a friend or family member with an alcohol problem. You are welcome to post to this community, but please be aware that your question may be better answered in another forum. Here are a few resources for friends \u0026amp; family looking for advice.\r\n\r\n* [/r/AlAnon](https://www.reddit.com/r/AlAnon) \\- Al-Anon community on Reddit\r\n* [Al-Anon Family Groups website](http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/home), including their quiz, [How to know if you are affected by someone's drinking](http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/affected-by-someones-drinking)\r\n* [Information for Adult Children of Alcoholics](http://alcoholism.about.com/od/adult/Adult_Children_of_Alcoholics.htm) at About.com\r\n* [National Association for Children of Alcoholics](http://www.nacoa.org/) and their [Information for kids page](http://www.nacoa.org/kidspage.html)\r\n* [SMART Recovery](http://www.smartrecovery.com/resources/family.htm) \\- Support and resources for friends \u0026amp; family of Alcoholics and/or drug addicts.\r\n* Article: [How to talk to a friend with a drinking problem](http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/has90412.page)\r\n* Article: [How can I help my alcoholic family member?](http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/how-can-i-help-my-alcoholic-family-member)\r\n* Article: [What Can You Do When An Alcoholic Won't Get Help?](http://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/forcing-alcoholic-into-treatment/)\r\n* Article: [Why can’t alcoholics learn to drink in moderation?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/3130/why-can-t-alcoholics-learn-to-drink-in-moderation)\r\n* Book: [The Complete ACOA Sourcebook: Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love](http://www.amazon.com/The-Complete-ACOA-Sourcebook-Alcoholics/dp/1558749608)","subreddit_name":"stopdrinking","author":"Plastalmonus"}]}