YES! My domestic abuse counsellor literally just loaned me a book as homework haha. (I declined the loan and ordered it as I am a notorious book ruiner thanks to ADHD. I've already folded so many pages and made so many notes in the margins) Sorry, rambling.
It's called the Covert passive aggressive narcissist by Debbie Mirza. Link
I'm really getting on with it. I would also recommend Jackson MacKenzie in general as an author. Psychopath Free and also Whole Again.
Hope that's helpful.
That's such a good book! It's good that you're reading it. I read it along with this book: The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse https://www.amazon.com/dp/099862134X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_Q0BVQXGWDS1DGTDHAM6X
They were both really good. I wonder if you'd like the second book, too. I felt tons better about myself after reading them.
Trust me, been asking that why if motivation for decades now. Have found some answers, but still seeking and researching more.
https://www.amazon.com/Covert-Passive-Aggressive-Narcissist-Recognizing-Psychological/dp/099862134X
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
Reading those two books (specifically the first one) might help in “understanding” them, at least partially.
I’m suffering just like/similar to you, and let’s hope we both can find different pathways to our own healing. Stay safe and may the Force be with you.
Read “The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist” by Debbie Mizra
Might help.
https://www.amazon.com/Covert-Passive-Aggressive-Narcissist-Recognizing-Psychological/dp/099862134X
Oh also if you really want to go a bit further with understanding, read “The Body Keeps the Score” by Dr. Kolk. Bit heavy, but it explains well that “mental health issues” are not just in your head. It’s all connected.
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
Please read up on Narcissists so that you know how to protect yourself. I recommend
>The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse https://www.amazon.com/dp/099862134X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_B9C9C01C1GMZNRHQ9JD5
>How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse https://www.amazon.com/dp/1520117671/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_YJE5YPVHP5NFANQV2G79
>Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425191656/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_1FDPHQG75WQ6F24YEQJC
Get them on audiobook or kindle so you can listen without him knowing you're researching the topic. You are not crazy. It's not you. Stay safe.
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I have read a couple of books
Audible book - Gaslighting: The Narcassit's Favorite tool of Manipulation
and I have also seen videos by a woman named Terri Cole. She has a website with lots of good material on it if you want more than Youtube,
I also think Dr. Todd Grande is really good too, he has some very informative videos on Youtube.
The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist is on my reading list. I haven't read it yet, but the reviews look great.
I have read The Journey and Healing from Hidden Abuse both of which touch on covert narcissism. The latter is a little bit more about romantic relationships but still has really good insights in it.