Hey man, I know how you feel. I’ve struggled with pornography for about 12 years. I’m actually reading a book titled “The Death of Porn: Men of Integrity Building a World of Nobility” by Ray Ortlund.
In this book, Ray writes a series of six letters, as if he were a father writing to a child. It focuses on the battle against porn not being about porn at all, but about hope. Pornography often leads us to devalue ourselves, so another main premise of the book is that we (both men and women, as they both play equal parts in the predatory porn industry) are created by God to be royalty, and Ortlund wants to remind us that God wants us to see ourselves as royalty.
It’s a fantastic read so far, and I’m only halfway through. I hope you can use this (amongst all the resources previously recommended) to see your royal value. We all love you, man, and God loves you.
The Death of Porn by Ray Ortlund is an insanely helpful book. I would recommend it to any Christians struggling with pornography. Its loaded with the hope of the good news and brought me to tears on a regular basis. Its only six chapters, and I definitely think it’ll help!
My dearly beloved brother -- I hear you. I've carried the same guilt and shame of pornography usage for many years. It's in this time of vulnerability that Satan attacks us the hardest. He wants us to feel isolated, alone, and hopeless in our struggle. Pornography is one of the many ways that Satan warps us as image-bearers and perverts God's wonderful gift of sexuality. It not only hurts you and the women you view as sexual entertainment, but it is offensive to our Holy God. Those are His daughters we're violating. And yet, through the mercy of Jesus Christ, we can be washed clean of even this sin. Read this short passage from Zechariah which tells us of how God pardons our sins and clothes us in the garments of Christ's righteousness:
>Zechariah 3:1-5 Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. And the Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, O Satan! The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is not this a brand plucked from the fire?” Now Joshua was standing before the angel, clothed with filthy garments. And the angel said to those who were standing before him, “Remove the filthy garments from him.” And to him he said, “Behold, I have taken your iniquity away from you, and I will clothe you with pure vestments.” And I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments. And the angel of the Lord was standing by.
Isn't that amazing? The filthy garments picture the terrible stain of sin we have before God. The removal of the garments pictures God's gracious forgiveness, and the receiving of new garments points to the imputation of Christ's righteousness that gives us acceptance with God. This very peace is being offered to you, too.
There are a few practical resources I want to commend to you. First is Ray Ortland's book The Death of Porn. This has been the most helpful read in my own journey. Second is accountability software like Covenant Eyes. You'll want to install this on all of your devices. Strive 21 is a free porn detox program run through Covenant Eyes that I think you would highly benefit from. It helps you get to the heart issues behind your porn usage, and find hope with a group of brothers online through short daily instructional/teaching videos. Besides these things, praying and regular Bible reading will help you maintain intimacy with Christ as you trust in Him to make you right before God. I'll be praying for you too, brother.
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:23-25).