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This YouTube livestream from How To ADHD is 2.5 hours long, and I'm still only halfway through, but it's been good so far: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVnO336a8sc&t=3676s
The guest on that show has a book called "The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety, and More."
Choose your battles. Seriously. If the medication is getting her through school then yes there will be meltdowns at home. How much cleaning is necessary? I'm serious - focus only on the most important chore, and be selectively blind. Does she have a plan at school? If not, get one and toss the homework issue back at them.
I also have a book recommendation, https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Guide-Raising-Complex-Anxiety/dp/1592339352&ved=2ahUKEwiAxqOUtpn2AhUPm2oFHf-0DSIQFnoECDEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1sqfm1pUmSazQ6yZhS3lYe
It was a very easy read and gets the parenting part, which most books don't.