{"product":{"product_id":"0399579664","title":"The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love","price":"17.09","image_url":"https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/513xvhXHvGL._SL500_.jpg","url":"https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399579664"},"comments":[{"body":"Okay, so first, what you're looking for isn't monogamous, it's polyamorous or polyfidelitous. The people at /r/polyamory could be a good resource for you as well.\r\n\r\nBefore talking to her, or maybe as you are, I'd recommend reading [The Ethical Slut](https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;psc=1\u0026amp;refRID=9JJD9PA3Y7B4T4VKG30K). There's a lot of very important information about how to communicate and navigate the weird waters of non-monogamy. It's also a quick read.\r\n\r\nGood luck, play safe.","subreddit_name":"bisexual","author":"InspirationNeeded"},{"body":"Alright here's my experience, apologies if it's a lot of nonsense\r\n\r\nWe share a 2 bedroom apartment, which in my home city our rent is pretty good compared to current market value. We are on month-to-month so we could have moved out if we wanted, when we broke up we decided to keep the place, in part because of rent sharing, and second because it's a really good place.\r\n\r\nIt was pretty easy going until the pandemic lock downs started, forcing us both to stay home. But we had established boundaries, and often share cooking meals, help each other with chores, and we still spend time together watching movies or playing games (video or board).\r\n\r\nOne of the challenges will be whenever one of us actually leaves. We bought a lot of things together; a nice TV, the couch, the bed she uses, some of the game consoles and so on. Eventually one will have to buy what they want off the other.\r\n\r\nIf you don't have a second bedroom you're going to have some difficulties. One of you may have to take the living room or other common space as their bedroom and set up some kind of privacy barriers.\r\n\r\nIn a way, you're in a form of non-monogamous relationship now and it might be a good idea for each of you to do some reading on the subject. [This book](https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=the+ethical+slut\u0026amp;qid=1595865033\u0026amp;sr=8-1) is pretty good though it probably covers a lot more then needed in your context.\r\n\r\nHere's what has helped us maintain our friendship:\r\n\r\n* Set boundaries\r\n* **Respect those boundaries**\r\n* Be kind\r\n* Help with chores\r\n* Make meals together\r\n* Hang out and have fun\r\n* Take some alone time when you need it\r\n* Be encouraging when looking for people to date; reviewing each others online dating profile can be a fun exercise and a real confidence booster :)\r\n* Invest in a good pair of headphones.\r\n\r\nHope this helps, feel free to DM if you'd like some more details on anything.","subreddit_name":"casualiama","author":"misterdoctor"},{"body":"Happy Saturday, Veni! I'm so happy to hear you're getting out and enjoying time with friends and are on a good path. You deserve all the good things! :)\r\n\r\nI think it's great that you're coming up with questions regarding the *why* of your desire to open the relationship. Something I'm curious about -- have you ever wanted an open relationship with a partner prior to your husband? I think for some, monogamy is simply too limiting and too narrow. \r\n\r\nI have spoken to a number of men and women about this, but shockingly, more women seem to find the idea of open relationships more appealing than men. Perhaps I'll make a post about this, because you're far from alone in these thoughts and desires and it may help you. \r\n\r\nI really think you should check out the book, [*The Ethical Slut*](https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2YXO26OSGU22\u0026amp;dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=the+ethical+slut+first+edition\u0026amp;qid=1622908238\u0026amp;sprefix=the+ethical+slut%2Caps%2C225\u0026amp;sr=8-1)*.* It may help you understand your *why* more and feel less alone in your thoughts and desires. I would also be happy to suggest other books for you as well, if you're interested :)","subreddit_name":"WellnessOver30","author":"Perfect_Judge"},{"body":"Recommend you get a copy of [The Ethical Slut](https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664/) and give that a thorough going over. They have some really good content about jealousy, where it comes from, and how to deal with it. You're right that you can't want freedom and justify jealousy at the same time. \r\n\r\nAs for me, I choose to spend some time thinking about my jealousy when I feel it. Why am I feeling this way? What are the underlying feelings that are making me vulnerable? What can I do to make this work better? \r\n\r\nGood luck.","subreddit_name":"nonmonogamy","author":"JCurious2021"},{"body":"It's not that unusual of a kink and there are ways to do this without compromising anyone's ethics.  You might check out one of the core books on ethical non-monogamy (ENM) called \"[The Ethical Slut](https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664)\" which forms a sort of guidebook for polyamorous relationships.  \r\n\r\n\u0026amp;#x200B;\r\n\r\nIt's an important book just generally for modern sexual culture.","subreddit_name":"sex","author":"SinnamonAndCoffee"},{"body":"[This is at the thrift store I work at:](https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664/ref=sr_1_1?crid=VLSEPL9JJS9N\u0026amp;keywords=the+ethical+slut+book\u0026amp;qid=1668482508\u0026amp;s=electronics\u0026amp;sprefix=the+etical+slut+boo%2Celectronics%2C303\u0026amp;sr=1-1)","subreddit_name":"AskReddit","author":"CzarofGames"},{"body":"So this is what you do to realign the story and get everything back on track.\r\n\r\nThe big bad evil guy is an ethical slut. So that would probably imply lawful evil.\r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664\r\n\r\nThey are perfectly willing to sleep with the entire party. It won’t affect the evil plans but they won’t take advantage of the opportunity either. \r\n\r\nThey will also inform all of their many other partners. Possibly the party will receive gifts later from these partners. I’ve heard that is sometimes traditional.\r\n\r\nYou know it kind of goes something like this. \r\n\r\nHello Lady Marlane, Noted necromancer and traitor to the crown.. Is this business or pleasure? \r\n\r\nPleasure. \r\n\r\nCommence the fucking. Cuddling and after care is employed.Then everybody leaves safely, Possibly with gift baskets of fruits and cheeses. \r\n\r\nIf it was business  commence the initiative.\r\n\r\nThere is an alternative. You can take everybody aside and having a IRL conversation about how this is bothering you.\r\n\r\nIf it is not bothering you or anyone else at the table carry-on.\r\n\r\nThanks so much for this post!","subreddit_name":"dndmemes","author":"Nepalman230"},{"body":"*WTF?!?!?!*\r\n\r\nHonestly, I feel this post is EXTREMELY offensive. You’re triggering me with your ignorance and closed mindedness!! Swinging isn’t what caused my relationship’s issues.\r\n\r\nInfidelity is related to betrayal and betrayal can take many different shapes. It’s very closed minded and selfish to think that your betrayal and/or trauma is of any importance greater than my own. This forum should be available to support those experiencing the human condition and relational trauma. Your emotions and your relationship are equivalent to my own, not unique, and your insinuation that swinging (relevant to me) somehow detracts from my marriage’s validity in terms of relational interconnection and vesting is the most ignorant thing I have read in here— ever.\r\n\r\nRead this book (but buy from a local retailer), and stop hiding behind your belief that you’re in the only type of relationship that is important and that my heart doesn’t matter:\r\n\r\nThe Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399579664/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_C7C9D4BJ24P7TK16H5TS\r\n\r\nOp’s post is super narcissistic. I’ve never been more angry while reading Reddit than I am right now. Seriously, wtf?!?!?","subreddit_name":"AsOneAfterInfidelity","author":"togetherbutnotwhole"},{"body":"Most likely she just wanted to feed off of the sexual energy of the club to bring into the bedroom. \r\n\r\nBut if you guys do decide to open your relationship to others you both should read 'The Ethical Slut' for the health of your marriage.\r\n\r\nThe Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399579664/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_44M6NZPRWHPFEH4T6TMD","subreddit_name":"sex","author":"Krash_Gryphter"},{"body":"There are a few things going on, that I see.\r\n\r\nYou say that you are accepting, then turn around and say you are uncomfortable with them \"bottoming to anal play\".  Have you thought about why? Is it just your partner, or all non-binary people, or bi men, or leasbians, the act of anal, or or or...\r\n\r\nYour partner has changed since you have been together. They were all of what you need in a partner- Dominant.  Now, they are not, and that is shifting and you cannot fulfill that need for them, as much as you want to. You worry if they will someday lose the part that you need... (I may be off base here, but it's a concern)\r\n\r\nOther partners. Sharing can be hard when all you want to do is say \"MINE\".  But, it sounds like they loves you and is trying to work on your relationship.  Know that you can't be someone's everything. Just like there is no perfect food in nature. We need to eat a variety to get all the vitamins and minerals we need. Not a perfect analogy,  but it works. Think of them getting his Niacin, Folic Acid, and Vitamin D while he's out. They will feel better after their vitamin infusion. \r\n\r\n(Wow, the things I think of at 1 am during a fit of insomnia, I'm sure its not original, bit, ther you go)\r\n\r\nNote on terminology: What you describe is Ethical Non-Monogomy. Polyamory would imply that he has romantic ties his othe(s). ENM just means, sleeping with other people, and everyone knows (poly is typically included in the ENM umbrella)\r\n\r\nI haven't read it, but I've hear this book is good: [The Ethical Slut](https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664/) - Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton\r\n\r\nSome things to think about. Hope it helps. Let me know if you have questions.","subreddit_name":"BDSMcommunity","author":"Bluebeards_Kitten"},{"body":"I’m so sorry. That’s so overwhelmingly awful. My heart cries for your pain. :’(\r\n\r\nSo, just to be clear, what I suggested and apparently got downvoted on as if the advice weren’t a valid option is actually good advice SOME of the time. It won’t work in every situation, and it certainly my won’t work if it’s not being ethically practiced. Ethical non-monogamy is 10,000% real, and when it’s approached in a joint, united front as a team, it can be quite enjoyable. I understand that not everyone subscribes to that kind of lifestyle, and I’m not trying to force it upon anyone. I merely suggested it as a starting point for others to branch out from and learn more about.\r\n\r\nThere’s a really good book on this practice called The Ethical Slut. It’s a good read, and it goes over types of open relationships that I would never be comfortable with. Still, it’s educational to the ignorant. I learned a whole lot from that book. It’s on Kindle as well. \r\n\r\nThe Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399579664/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_4RK727JFPY5NEHYZF5JC","subreddit_name":"AsOneAfterInfidelity","author":"HumpiestGibbon"},{"body":"The only book I've read that could potentially fit that description is [The Ethical Slut](https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+ethical+slut\u0026amp;qid=1636666983\u0026amp;qsid=142-4572033-3692148\u0026amp;sr=8-1\u0026amp;sres=0399579664%2C1587613379%2C1890159018%2CB00IDQCRS6%2CB004TG697O%2CB0098ABLFQ%2CB00X6CIHAY%2CB08L6XNM9L%2CB07ZJW6DWR%2CB000IB0EYI%2C1982165316%2CB08C9CPPML%2CB08SGWNLV9%2CB092RKSBC8%2CB06XY8TWTS%2CB08HVPZN92\u0026amp;srpt=ABIS_BOOK). It's been a long time since I read it, but I recall thinking it was pretty good.","subreddit_name":"AskReddit","author":"Vodis"},{"body":"In your recent research, did you come across topics called consented non-monogamy or polyamory? Basically a less hippie version of a commune made up out of 3+ people, typically living the kinky lifestyle but not required.\r\n\r\nA good start to start reading is [The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love](https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399579664/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_4W7FQQY92JJPY7DN7RXM)\r\n\r\nNot a way of living/type of relationship I would prefer ... But hey everybody is different and that's a good thing.\r\n\r\nThe book was a good read anyways, even though I did not read the third edition ... Also it's pretty common in communal libraries I have heard from us friends.","subreddit_name":"AskRedditAfterDark","author":"Andross-Guile"},{"body":"Don’t be my fellow goddesses.   Please go out and get this book.    It’s a game changer.       It’s not just for hotwives or poly people.   Monogamous women can benefit from it too.     The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399579664/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_9MGSBASPHP1HSNAJ2DNS","subreddit_name":"DeadBedrooms","author":"Thefithotwife"},{"body":"So many wonderful possibilities! \r\nYou could spend some time over on r/swingers. Ask some questions there. \r\nAnd if you or your wife are readers, you might grab \"The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to. Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Love and Sex\" by  Janet Hardy.\r\nhttps://smile.amazon.com/dp/0399579664/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_H71F7M23ZAK8RRCGND43","subreddit_name":"adultery","author":"SultanOfSwave"}]}