What is Reddit's opinion of The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be (The New Father, 12)?

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We received The Expectant Father as a gift when we were expecting our first. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember what was in the book, but I do remember the reassuring feeling I had when I read it.

So... it’s probably down the alley of what you’re looking for

I bought my husband the book "the expectant father the ultimate guide for dads-to-be" it is available on Amazon and is really informative. https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1542296764&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=expectant+father+books&dpPl=1&dpID=61Qlu9et-vL&ref=plSrch

It is a little different in that it focuses on how the partner can help and not accidently cause a fight, as well as giving a perspective as to how she is feeling and what is happening with the baby. I got myself the book "day by day pregnancy" it is like a massive text book and let's me have a little to read each day with tips and ideas to make the experience more pleasant.

Good luck, most of all you need to let her know that you are in this together.

Don't treat her like she's handicapped, please. She's still capable of doing everything she did before, but it's wonderful of you to want to help her! So sweet, really! Mainly, be ready with snacks, and foot rubs when she starts to swell after work. I was fine don't nearly everything, but casting laundry up the stairs left me winded for like ten minutes! It didn't harm me in any way, but man was it though to be out of breath! Casey the heavy things!

Get a book about pregnancy so you're just as on top of it as she is. My husband likes this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_CRYFNCYHD75H5FMDW19Y

Download a pregnancy app, so you can help her track her strange symptoms. I remember thinking--"Oh CRAP, I'm pregnant, AND NOW I'M CATCHING A COLD!?" I just happened to look at my app that evening and-- oh, nope, totally normal think! Just congestion, created by shifting organs, making room for baby. But there were several instances that things would happen and there was a perfectly explainable reason, that turned out to be pretty cool! I use Ovia Pregnancy app.

Also get right on top of downloading the Wonder Weeks app. THIS WILL SAVE YOU SO MUCH ANGUISH when baby comes. This app will help you calm down when you can't calm baby, it'll explain why what's happening is happening, it's all developmentally appropriate! Just reading why, and when certain mental leaps will happen, made us so much calmer and ankle to really take baby in and experience first time parenthood. It'll really bring you joy to see the leaps happening and taking hold. Good luck!

My partner 100% gets more cravings than I do when I’m pregnant!

I feel like the expectant father actually talked about the things dad is dealing with internally! One of which actually was sympathy cravings/eating!

Have him read The Expectant Father, if he’s not big into books they also have the audiobook version which my husband listened to during his commute.

It really helped my husband gain a lot more empathy for me after understanding what’s physiologically happening inside my body and what kind of effect that would have on me. And it’s written I think w the knowledge it’s for a male audience in mind which I think was helpful in absorbing the information.

And have him come to all of your OB appointments and explain that you’re having strong food aversions to certain foods and finding it difficult to do the same types of chores as before. Have the Doctor explain to your husband that it’s ok, so the onus isn’t on you.

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide to Dads-to-Be https://www.amazon.com/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_BT140SWM0PCPZA430QAK

It’s totally normal for even the most involved dads to not feel attached to the baby during pregnancy and often even into the first year of life

My husband read The Expectant Father when I was pregnant and he learned a lot about what’s happening to a woman’s body and baby’s development from a male perspective that really helped him develop some empathy (he listened to the audiobook on his daily commute)

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide to Dads-to-Be https://www.amazon.com/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_AK5G2TVA31Q2D93JYV5E

This book has been really informative for my husband! It details what to expect month by month, what mom is experiencing, and what you might be feeling as a dad.

Throughout the first trimester, be prepared to just do more. She will probably feel like crap and want to be in bed as much as possible and I promise will so appreciate if you take on more household responsibilities than usual. Ask frequently what you can get her from the store as nausea is really tricky and sometimes what you can tolerate changes from day to day.

If anyone is looking for a great book for men during a pregnancy "Expectant Father" is a great resource, so far has covered just about every question I could imagine, and how to comfort and care for the mother throughout.

Also doesnt give you whatever weird 'alpha' vibes

https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137

Man the Expectant Father is a great book. There is a bit that goes into some stuff I didn't get any value in, but also a lot that I did. He goes through what the woman is going through during each set of months.

Also, read as much as you can about being a parent. There is no "right" way to parent.

My wife and I don't do any screen time (our son is 2 years) and we cloth diaper. I know some of my friends that have bough their kids tablets and they're close to my son's age.

Their kids are great, my kid is great.

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The main thing is to be consistent, establish a routine as early as you can, and jump at any chance to take over with the baby in the early months.

Side note, no one talks about the father after the baby is born. There's a lot going on. You're going to be asked to cut the cord, it's tougher than you think it is. While your newborn is being cleaned up, they'll be taking care of your wife because there will probably be tearing. In the days after, your wife will be having a hard time getting around and maybe even showering. You'll be helping with all of that as well. It's your duty and you'll grow closer to your wife from it.

This book was helpful for me: https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137

Talk about division of labor in your household with your spouse for when the baby arrives

Take paternity leave if available

Don’t go golfing all the time once your baby arrives (this is very common)

Read any books/watch parenting resources with your spouse so you’re on the same page with different things (sleep, feeding, etc). Taking Cara Babies has great sleep courses.

Find a good tracking app (I love Baby Connect) for diapers, feedings, etc.

Happy to answer other specifics!

The day after we found out I was pregnant, I came home from the store and saw that my husband had bought himself an expectant fathers book to read. I knew he’d be happy that we were expecting, but seeing how much he cared to be a good dad made me tear up. He’s been reading it as we move along in the pregnancy, which also melts my heart. Here’s the book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137 He seems to enjoy it, I’ve picked it up a few times, and I honestly like it a little more than the What To Expect When You’re Expecting book for new mommy’s (which he also bought for me!)

First time dad here. Does your partner like to read? I found that reading about what I might feel really helped (and continues to help).

I have this author's book for post-baby, but imagine his pre-baby book is just as good: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_OEW1FbKC7JHB5?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

It's not too bro-y or trying too hard to "talk like a dude" to me which I appreciate. Us guys go through some serious emotional changes and seeing it in print helped me out!

Deutschsprachige Bücher habe ich keine guten gefunden. Bei allem, was ich gelesen habe (und das ist natürlich nicht alles, da könnte es schon noch gute geben) gab es viel ~~Esoterik~~ "Erfahrungswissen" und "natürliches Gespür" des Autors/der Autorin und wenig Quellenbelege zu vernünftigen wissenschaftlichen Studien.

Als Vater kann ich Dir aber die Bücher von Armin A. Brott ans Herz legen, z.B. über die Schwangerschaft. Ich habe jetzt schon das dritte Buch von ihm in der Hand, und sie sind ziemlich gut. Man muss natürlich von Amerika-spezifischen Informationen absehen (nein, ich bin kein G.I. und es juckt mich auch nicht, wie G.I.s Väter werden wollen.) Aber ansonsten ist er sehr hilfreich, und nicht dogmatisch, was ich am allerwichtigsten finde.

Die Infos sind auch generell und fokussieren sich auf dich und deine Erfahrungen mit dem Kind aber auch deiner Beziehung zur Partnerin, was ich eigentlich am Wichtigsten finde.

Kein Ratgeber wird deine Situation 100% beschreiben, aber es kann helfen, über bestimmte Probleme zu lesen, die andere auch haben, und welche Lösungen sie benutzen.

For Pregnancy we were giving 'The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-be' by Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash. They have a nice tone, less judge-y/preachy while stating different studies and information. They have a wonderful index. I actually took the book from my husband several times to reference. It is meant for fathers technically, but I found it's approach and organization to be very nice. It helps with knowing what to expect, healthwise, various issues, questions to ask, various situations, nice links and references as well. So if you are looking for information on a specific subject instead of aimless guesswork you get page numbers.

They have one that address the First year and Toddler, but I haven't read those yet to see how they are if they are like the pregnancy one, I would love to own them all.

Normally I’d suggest taking classes like newborn care, labor, CPR, but you’d have to check with your hospital to see if they’re still going on.

A book really helped my husband when I was pregnant was “The Expectant Father” by Armin Brott. It addresses a lot of the father’s fears. I don’t think my husband had time to read the whole thing but he did gain a lot of insight from it.

https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=the+expectant+father&qid=1599417243&sprefix=the+expect&sr=8-3

I found this book super helpful. It goes month by month and explains what's happening with the development of the baby but also, and perhaps more importantly, what you're fiancee is going through each month. This helps you understand and support her emotions and needs.

I believe it's The Expectant Father. One of his friends lent it to him saying it helped him a lot, but I don't think my husband has read much of it yet. Most of his reading so far has been the Mayo book.

The Expectant Father Got this on audio. Was definitely helpful

My husband really likes this book. There are so many things in there that he's read that haven't been in the books I have, either, so it's great for him to read aloud.

http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137/ref=zg_bs_11378_1

I read this one, liked it: https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be by Armin A. Brott, Jennifer Ash

The Expectant Fatherby Armin A. Brott is a great book, has an index for specific things. Information for yourself and your partner as well as important milestones of pregnancy. It goes over costs, tests, choosing names, different birth options, different care options, what is generally expected for appointments, etc.

Daddy Up app is cute and fun. It goes over the usually week by week things but in a fun way in my opinion. You can click for more details. It is from a humorous point of view of you being a lumberjack providing for your wife. I often request to see the app on my husbands phone. Perhaps I'm just weird.

I felt The Expectant Father was pretty good.

My husband read the expectant father and really enjoyed it. I did not read it myself, but he found it extremely helpful.

It's not necessarily geared towards dads, but Emily Oster is very highly regarded as someone who lays out factual information in an easily digestible way rather than including a bunch of fluff and wives tales. She wrote Expecting Better and I've had tons of moms recommend it. I did not read books about pregnancy while I was pregnant because I honestly felt way too anxious to know anything other than what my Dr. was telling me and I was also high risk & pregnant with twins; most of the pregnancy books do not tailor their message to that, and there are so many unknowns with twin pregnancy that most of the twin pregnancy books just say the same things.

Good luck! Praying for an uneventful rest of pregnancy for you both!

I got a book

https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137

For a similar situation, my wife got pregnant (though we were trying and semi-prepared), her second my first, though I’ve been with my stepdaughter since she was 1, but the actual newborn phase and pregnancy part was new to me. This book helped a ton, doesn’t go crazy into detail that will overwhelm you, but lays it out and covers everything from what’s happening with her, the baby, and yourself, doubts, concerns, excitements, everything. Best part was if I got behind in the book (she on month 6, I hadn’t read that chapter yet) I’d open it and it would literally have exactly what she was feeling (bloating, mood swings, anxiety, etc l) almost down to a T, she would even get a good laugh when I’d read It out to her and she’d be able to recognize what’s happening to her is normal.

My other advice is, when she’s acting crazy/sad/angry/worries/ or just overwhelmed or overthinking things (my wife did all this ALOT) don’t snap and say “you’re just pregnant, that’s why you think I’m having an emotional affair with the dog!” But calmly sit down with her, explain things and gently say “do you think maybe you’re feeling this strongly about (enter current event here) because your hormones are so in flux due to the pregnancy?” Essentially guide her into her own conclusions and realizations that just maybe she isn’t in full control of her emotional state.

Also take some time for yourself. I did so much baby shopping, working to pay for it all, redecorating the house, massaging her, everything I could for her, but she insisted I continue going to the gym with my stepdaughter (she to daycare there, I to work out) because it’s a great mental unwind, same with hunting during the season. Not disappearing for long times or unexpectedly, but still getting some alone time.

And lastly, encourage your other child to be excited and helpful with the baby, and once your new one is here, still do this and let them “help” with the baby, and give her some extra 1 on 1 time with you, and with their mom, so she doesn’t feel like she’s being replaced. This was a huge fear of mine, that my stepdaughter would be feeling like she was being pushed aside. Go the extra mile for them, because while you and your wife are stressed, you at least know what’s going on. To a child it can be more distant, but also more confusing and scary.

Good luck and I hope everything goes smoothly and healthily!

I’ve seen The Expectant Father recommended a lot. It covers what you and the baby are going through from conception and how they can help and prepare for the baby’s arrival: https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137

We listened to the audio version of The Expectant Father on a car journey and would recommend it The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide to Dads-to-Be https://smile.amazon.com/dp/0789212137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_J0R2AR7ZW611JN2Y9A6D

 

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My husband read The Expectant Father and found it useful and interesting. https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137

This totally sounds annoying

And from my pov it sounds like your husband is the issue.

The woman and your husband have a friendship, she’s telling him about her experience from her perspective. I don’t see anything inherently wrong with that (except for the part where she’s suggesting you’re not in shape)

Your husband doesn’t need to take this info and try to use it in order to control what you do. If he’s trying to keep up with the Joneses now, in utero, I can only imagine what the rest of your lives are going to look like with him taking every bit of information at face value.

Is your husband educating himself on the pregnancy outside of what he’s hearing from you or this lady?

My husband read the expectant father and Expecting Better and I felt like he had a much better handle on all these pregnancy after.

Also it might help if you both (or he, but with you playing along) worked on your communication styles. Dr Gottman’s books on how babies affect your relationship and just general good marriage advice along with the love languages quiz really helped my husband and I get through the stressful early period.

Dude needs to educate himself and back the fuck up.

My husband liked The Expectant Father and the two that came after it (one for the first year, one for toddlerhood).

I would talk to him about how involved you want him to be! I am in a similar position, my husband was so excited to find out we were expecting (I'm now 14.5 weeks) and then we found out he couldn't go to the appointments with me. We were both super bummed. So, I bought him this book The Expectant Father, and he's loving it! It's breaks down your pregnancy month by month with things that he can do which is mostly making sure I was eating veggies and drinking enough water. It also clues him in to what's going on with baby as it grows, hubby is happy and it feels like we are tackling this milestone together.

Here's a link to the book - https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137 you can also find it used in lots of places!

I just had a baby a little over a year ago and I felt really similar to you. That’s part of the reason why I put it off for so long and am a little bit older for a mom.

Make sure your husband reads The Expectant Father, Expecting Better, Crib Sheets, and any and all books by Dr Gottman especially Baby Makes Three.

It’s really easy as the mother and as a woman to just bear the brunt of parenting, especially in the early stages. Everyone just expects it, the dads get praised for doing hardly anything at all. But I’m telling you, that’s not a good way to start. You need to have your husband involved with everything from the very beginning and make it explicitly clear that it’s going to be a 50/50 split from the very beginning. That will make it 100x better. Even the most supportive husband will readily take a backseat bc society already just expects that and they don’t want to “get in the way”.

When I was pregnant I assigned my husband to be in charge of researching/buying certain necessities.

After giving birth, I didn’t plan it this way, but it just so worked out that I was so exhausted that he did all the swaddling and diaper changes in the hospital and first couple of days home. He had to teach me how to do it and that made him more confident as a father from the beginning.

We split all the night feedings 50/50. 1 of us would sleep w ear plugs in and we’d trade off at about 2am. He only had 6 weeks of paternity leave and even though I had 3 months, I didn’t let him off the hook and he still had to do his “night shifts”. I let him have an extra hour.

Make sure you value your time and independence just as much as your husband does. Don’t let society, family, other moms, or anyone try to be like “oh yeah, that’s just how it is. Men always have it easier. Blah blah blah” Some people will be like this. Hell no.

The first 3-4 months are the hardest and then after that it gets easier and easier and more fun.

If you’re not already in them, find the subreddits and Facebook groups for your due date month they’re usually called like “Oct2019BabyBumps” or variations of that. And there’s all kinds of other helpful subs like r/mommit, r/baby, r/sleeptrain, r/babyledweaning, r/parents, r/babybumps, r/beyondthebump, etc etc etc

Good luck!

If you have any Qs about anything feel free to dm me ❤️

This sounds vaguely familiar! I suggest checking out/having him read (or even you reading) the expectant father

This book and its companion, “The New Father” are really helpful! Amazon - The Expectant Father

I'm a new addition to the sub, however, a friend of mine who recently became a father who has specifically put me onto reading "The Expectant Father 4ed by Brott and Ash" (bookdepository, amazon). It might be available other places but two additional ones I just checked seem to be out of stock.

The Expectant Father seems to straddle a matter-of-fact line between explaining what's going on, what the ramifications might be for me as a father, and has yet to descend into either cuteness or bear hunting metaphors. Instead it tries to prepare you as a pre-dad and dad.

Chapters are organised around a month of pregnancy or Labor / Caesareans and contain sections on What's Happening with your Partner, ... with your Baby, ... with you where they discuss each in reasonable detail.

Im not all the way through the book - I'm trying not to OD on the topic - but I'm enjoying reading it to find out what might be in store relative to where I am currently.

If you're in the market for that kind of content for you or your guy, maybe it might be worth a look.

Hey OP. First time dad here. My little girl is 8 days old. I saw my dad every other weekend growing up. So 52 days a year with your old man is not a lot of time. Especially when he’d end up working on your weekends anyway.

When I found out the wife was pregnant I was in your shoes. Scared. How do I be a good dad when I never really had one? I am one of the first of my friends to be a dad.

The answer for me is partially trust your instincts and trust your partner. Parenting is a team effort. So far it has been more me supporting my wife than actually caring for the child. Why? Because she’s 8 days old. All she does is sleep, poop, and eat. Sleeping is obviously pretty hands off, unless she’s rolled onto her belly. Poops I can help with, diaper duty gets me involved with my little girl, helps reinforce that I am responsible for her in every way.

It’s eating where my views changed. I’m a man, I do not posses milk making breasts for the child. Research has shown that breastfeeding babies is the best option for them, and that means straight from the breast. If you try to bottle feed (even if it’s breast milk in the bottle) it could interfere with how your baby patches on to mom. All that is a long way to say I sit and watch for 66% of my babies life so far. So I take this time to try to be the best husband I can.

I’m on paternity leave right now so I have time. I offer to get my wife anything and everything I can to make her comfortable, so she can feed the baby and not worry. So she can also nap when the baby is asleep.

I don’t have much insight on dance classes, or her making friends, or dating. What I do have is a week’s experience and I can tell you with the upmost confidence that you need to be there for your spouse as much as your baby.

Also I recommend a book “The Expectant Father” it has gone good insight into what your spouse is going through and what you can do.

TLDR: Trust your gut, do what you can, accept what you can’t, and be there for your wife.

In order to not take over everything, I'll reply to my own comment.

I have 2 ideas for telling husband: 1) I'm the planner and scheduler. I have a dry erase calendar on our fridge, and sometimes I'll write future dates on there. Like the half-marathon I've signed up for is on the board. I'm considering adding another date there and say "Baby" or something, and ask him to check the calendar and see if we have anything coming up soon. (I am concerned he'll miss it, he's not always super observant.)

2) I order this book or this book (or both) and give them to him. If it happens now, use the "early Christmas present" excuse. January it could be "anniversary present" (our dating anniversary is in January). February is Valentine's Day, March is his birthday, April is my birthday, May & June I'll have to make something up. XD

Congrats! Grabbing a good prenatal should be high on your list. Labdoor has some good info on ones to choose. Basically, Folic Acid and DHA are the must-haves. The rest are a dime a dozen.

No one has mentioned a book for your hubby yet, so I'll share... my fiance is reading The Expectant Father and feels it really helps him know what's happening during the pregnancy and such.

The rest you can tackle later. There's SO MUCH INFO that you'll stumble upon in good time - and you've got quite a bit of it before the baby is born. Don't fret!

My personal advice? Take all the naps you need/want without feeling ashamed. Don't be afraid to tell your husband if something smells bad, you take a bite of something and can't finish it, if you want/don't want him to touch you, or if you just need XYZ. My fiance has been wonderful about whatever I need from him and it's made things much easier!