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The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)?
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It is called "The Four Agreements"
One of the agreeements is - Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you.What others say and do is a projection of their own dream.
We take things personally when we agree with what others have said.
When we do not agree, the things that others say cannot affect us emotionally.
When we do not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior cannot affect us.
I have a lot of experience with men because of my age - some men just say the stupidest things, but it has nothing to do with you!!! It took me forever to learn this!!
You are being cast in a movie - You are being cast the way you are right? Did they tell you to get a trainer? Or has he? Exactly.
He is used to yoga teacher bodies. But he is with you.....Who is this about....?
Normally i go for latina girls with big boobs and no tattoos.....and again....who the fuck cares??? LOL
It is so freeing to not let these people rent space in my head.
Be free.
Great work! This reminds me of the book 'The Four Agreements.' Sounds like you're on your way to mastering number 2!
- Be impeccable with your word
- Speak with integrity; say only what you mean
- Don't take anything personally
- nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
- Don't make assumptions
- Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want; communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama
- Always do your best
- your best is going to change from moment to moment; under any circumstance, simply do you best and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret
The Four Agreements are as follows:
Be impeccable with your word.
Don't take anything personally.
Don't make assumptions.
Always do your best.
They are from a very short book by Don Miguel Ruiz, and it's definitely worth a read.
👍🏼understand where you’re coming from. Marriage may be our greatest test. Regardless of this marriage, The Four Agreements, is a very helpful book to read about life. It’s advice has always stuck with me and helped quite a bit over the years. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1878424319/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_32SQ6P04G0E47W7CHAAG?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Rule 2 - Don’t take anything personal. Outside of the people who really know you well, everything negative people say about you is generally them projecting their shitty mindsets onto you. If it’s not someone who cares about you who’s trying to be helpful and constructive, just let it roll off your back.
And I’d suggest reading this book, it changed my outlook on stuff like this. Game changer
Understandable.
Increase your peace and mindfulness by practicing the following Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz: * 1: Make choices and take actions in line with your core values — compassion, wisdom, and persistence. * 2: Don't take anything personally. Recognize your limitations. We can't know exactly what others are struggling with and reacting to. * 3: Be open and honest. Express yourself. Ask questions. Never assume anything. * 4: Just do your best in each moment given your unique circumstances and resources available in that moment.
Increase your energy, compassion, and creativity by including 6 quick and easy exercises to your daily routine: * 1: Practice Gratitude -- identify 3 experiences today that you're grateful for. * 2: Deepen Gratitude -- pick one of today's grateful experiences and write everything you remember about it for 2 minutes. * 3: Fun Cardio 15 -- do a fun activity that gets your heart going for at least 15 minutes. * 4: Meditation -- simply stop whatever you're doing and just concentrate on breathing for at least 2 minutes. * 5: Share Gratitude -- take 3 to 5 minutes to send a brief text, email, or postcard expressing your gratitude to someone for an experience yesterday. * 6: Strengthen Community -- take at least 30 minutes to share a meal or activity with family and friends.
A book that I absolutely love is called The 4 Agreements. 1. Be impeccable with your words. 2. Always do your best. 3. Don’t take anything personally. 4. Don’t make assumptions. It’s hard at first but it’ll give you a “Darius” style outlook on life.
Read The Four Agreements
“Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about "me."”
Basically, those people are miserable and choose to make everyone else miserable. Don’t take it personally, it has nothing to do with you.
Consider reading The Four Agreements or something similar. If you're doing your best, then you have nothing to feel bad about or ashamed of. We're all learning and growing and need to have the space to do that successfully.
I think the most important thing to acknowledge is: your feelings are normal and valid.
The second important thing to acknowledge is: there's always value (new experiences, growth, development, etc) in the things you do even if some aspects of it make you unhappy.
I went through a similar phase and it took some time to convince myself to focus on the positives, rather than the negatives. Are you still learning new things about being a PM? Your industry? Do you still enjoy working with your colleagues? Are you learning how to manage stakeholders or complex tasks in the changing environment?
Every role (probably with some exceptions) always has value even if we're overall not happy with the situation. You can control what you focus on, but you cannot control what others do particularly in situations like layoffs where the decisions are made (hopefully) well in advance and by many layers above you.
There's a quote floating around that I like about imposter syndrome (feeling incompetent) that I really like: "If you're not uncomfortable, you're not being challenged."
My advice to you would be:
- Write out the positives (things you're learning, how you're developing, challenges you're facing and overcoming)
- Write out what's most important to you (e.g. supportive leadership, not being in a company with layoffs, certain attributes like trust or integrity)
- Read back over your notes and appreciate the positives
- Read back over your notes and consider if the things that are important to you exist at the organization and plan your next move from there
The book "The Four Agreements" helped with a lot of my anxiety issues, but I'm due for another read.
You are not alone, my friend. Betterhelp.com has been good for me. They charge me about $55 per week, which is a reduced rate for a poor fella like me. I recommend signing up for that if you can afford it. They will help you come up with strategies to move forward in life. The first thing my counselor told me to do was read this book, which I found extremely helpful.
https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
These other people are trying to make you live inside their dream. You got to go be you and build your dream. Stay alive and build it. Get a Betterhelp counselor. If you need financial assistance, tell them, they will get you in for very little funds. PLEASE Read "The 4 Agreements," that's the first thing my counselor made me do when I was talking like this. Find your Love & Wisdom! The world needs you!
https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
There is a book called The Four Agreements
It basically says, don't take anything personally and everything someone says is really about them, not about you.
an insult or even a compliment you are not to take personally - its all a reflection of them.
once you realize this and stop taking things personal - things seem to get easier.
Read The Four Agreements. It's a cheap book ($6) but allows for a different perspective. One of the agreements is to not take anything personally. This doesn't mean ignore it, it just means that there is something going on the your girlfriend's life that is causing her to lash out and it isn't about you. You are the master of your own universe. It's a short easy read.
You're welcome, I'm very sorry you have felt this way for so long. I remember thinking to myself that I was lower than dirt, that I didn't deserve to breath the same air as others. It was a very dark place in my life, and I can certainly understand your desire to escape.
I'm almost 50, and it wasn't until these last 2-3 years I was able to stop taking meds and chasing my happiness. I am truly at a good place in my life. I read a lot about alcoholism, depression, and abuse which lead me to make a lot of changes in my life; the most significant:
Quit drinking Start exercising Make new friends Eat healthy
We tell ourselves outlandish stories, and we tend to believe them. The problem is that many times these stories or assumptions aren't true, and have no basis in fact. We just get stuck telling ourselves these stories about ourselves and other people.
I think you may take something from this book.
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1878424319/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_0750YTF9WY6ST9D06Z6W?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
This makes me think of something I read in the Four Agreements. Basically, why would you feel bad about the things people have done to you, when it wasn't you who did them? It may seem trite, but it's helped me let go of certain things. It's a good book, in any case.
> Dude’s absolutely blasting motivational speeches
It's not a motivational speech. It's the audio book for The Four Agreements. I've had that book stolen from me 5 fucking times now. It's a good book.
There seems to be a whole mess of thoughts in there that has tangled together. I can say I was in very similar phase not too long ago. Maybe it would have been better to get help, but I didn't have the resource at the time so it dragged out much longer than it did. At this point in time, the most prominent book that has helped me is The Four Agreements. I saw it as a recommended book to read while searching for my own answers. For me, the book's key topics in the has made an impact more than the others I've read. If you can, get it as it could be the nudge that you've been searching for to start healing yourself. I got the audiobook version because I can reflect on the lessons more, and felt like i'm interacting with another person to sort through the topics. I also don't have the time to sit down and read. The most helpful section that I can absorbed right now is the "forgiveness" agreement. With what you've written here, I think that section will also help clear some of your unanswered thoughts. Hang in there, as long as you're still breathing, the hope is not yet lost. It's a cliche but one step at a time. You will get you out of that overwhelming hopelessness that's bogging down your mind at every waking moment.
> I'm looking out for myself before my toxic ass family
I understand far far too well.
I know it's hard, but if you're willing to trust a stranger, get the book, give it a read. It's like $6 on Amazon. What could it hurt?
Good luck fellow human :)
Stop focusing on the emotional states of other people. Just focus on your current situation.
Increase your peace and mindfulness by practicing the following Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz: * 1: Make choices and take actions in line with your core values — compassion, wisdom, and persistence. * 2: Don't take anything personally. Recognize your limitations. We can't know exactly what others are struggling with and reacting to. * 3: Be open and honest. Express yourself. Ask questions. Never assume anything. * 4: Just do your best in each moment given your unique circumstances and resources available in that moment.
Increase your energy, compassion, and creativity by including 6 quick and easy exercises to your daily routine: * 1: Practice Gratitude -- identify 3 experiences today that you're grateful for. * 2: Deepen Gratitude -- pick one of today's grateful experiences and write everything you remember about it for 2 minutes. * 3: Fun Cardio 15 -- do a fun activity that gets your heart going for at least 15 minutes. * 4: Meditation -- simply stop whatever you're doing and just concentrate on breathing for at least 2 minutes. * 5: Share Gratitude -- take 3 to 5 minutes to send a brief text, email, or postcard expressing your gratitude to someone for an experience yesterday. * 6: Strengthen Community -- take at least 30 minutes to share a meal or activity with family and friends.
Once I read in a book something among the lines of "live your life without justifying your existence."
I've been trying to apply this to my life since then (maybe two years ago), and it's one of the quotes that has had the biggest impact on my life. The book is called "The Four Agreements".
I'll jump on the book recommendations. Read The 4 Agreements. I broke down when I read it, actually, before even the 1st agreement! It reaches down into the core of why you act the way you do, into the crippling fear. Knowing about it might help you overcome it.
Oh! I forgot one book: The Four Agreements
A very short read but definitely applicable to life and developing healthy relationships.
I also think I forgot to mention that most of these books I listened to rather than read - might be helpful for you since you're at work not doing much right now!
Why go to pills? There's plenty of methods to deal with stuff like this that don't require you ingesting anything but knowledge.
Cheap book. Easy read. Changed my life. You just have to be willing to try. I promise you, anyone can change their mentality for the better. Those pills should be a last resort, not a first cop-out.
Please give this a go. It's a short book, but you will benefit from it immensely I think. Please stop thinking about yourself as permanently damaged. Maybe wounded in the past, but all there is, is the present moment.
Take this how you will, but there was a book that had a dramatic, liberating impact on me when I read it years ago. I have the suspicion that it could be good for you at this time in your life. Just a hunch.
Anyway, it's called The Four Agreements.
It's brief and it's profound.
It's from a book called The Four Agreement . I didnt fall in line with some of it as I am not a christian or into shamanism but the over all theory is sound.
http://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1444923430&sr=8-1&keywords=the+4+agreements
Lol, I didn't have to go though your comment history, man. You commented on both of my posts. How you forgot that is astounding.
I work 50+ hours a week in a field that requires me to be social. I got that covered, thanks for your concern. It may not matter now, but this conversation will stick with you, I'll forget about this in a couple of months so I apologize in advance. You're just not that important to me. What is important is what you get out of this: just be cool with others and what we're going though right now won't ever happen. You brought this on yourself. I just happen to be someone that will call others out on their shit.
Here's a book that you should read, If you can't purchase it now, I'm sure you can find a torrent of it in either an e-book or audiobook format.
I truly hope you reconsider making the change sooner rather than later.
There are lots of reasons people are unhappy. You should give the book The Four Agreements a read. I found it very useful as part of my meditation experience.
"During our early life we began making agreements. Our parents rewarded us when we did what they wanted and they punished us when we didn’t. We also learned behaviors and habits in school, church, and from other adults and children on the playground. The tools of reward and punishment were often emotional and sometimes physical. The impact of other people’s opinions and reactions to us became a very strong force in the habits we created. In this process we created agreements in our mind of who we should be, what we shouldn’t be, who we were, and who we were not. Over time we learned to live our life based on the agreements in our own mind. We learned to live according to the agreements that came from the opinion of others. In this process of domestication it turns out that the choices we make and the life we live is more driven by the opinions we learned from others than one we would choose on our own."
Absolutely, do all those things. Eat healthier, force yourself to be more social. Honestly, the key is not to fall into judgment of oneself or others and to adopt a philosophy of quiet acceptance and forgiveness. That's why talk therapy helps. You have a chance to air out your thoughts to make sure you aren't starting a pattern of self destructive and judgmental thoughts. Reading this really helped me. The first parts a little weird, but the rest is really amazing.
Good luck!
I only judge on the merits of your arguments.
If I were to guess. You sound like a boomer living in the bay area who has been smoking weed since before I was born. If I, or any of the lovely Ents around here were to go bowling with you, the wonder of the night of storytelling could only be surpassed by the OldHippy himself.
Agreement #2: Don't take anything personally
I think prop 19 will help millions of Americans (if not the world in general) while causing little, if any detriment. You believe prop 19 causes too much harm for its own good. I disagree with your arguments, beyond that I have no qualms at all.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
(Eckhart Tolle might just change your life altogether!)
Your frustration is totally understandable. Our culture suggests that if we just work hard, get rich, build power, and punish evildoers, that we'll discover a better, happier life plus build a better society. Unfortunately, that is just a myth.
The truth is, our lives are challenging. Suffering exists. Suffering comes from our attachment to our desires; the way we want things to be instead of the way things are. We can ease our suffering by reducing our attachment to our desires. We have the power to experience greater freedom from suffering by choosing to invest some of our our limited time and energy in a few key routines.
Increase your peace and mindfulness by practicing the following Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz: * 1: Make choices and take actions in line with your core values — compassion, wisdom, and persistence. * 2: Don't take anything personally. Recognize your limitations. We can't know exactly what others are struggling with and reacting to. * 3: Be open and honest. Express yourself. Ask questions. Never assume anything. * 4: Just do your best in each moment given your unique circumstances and resources available in that moment.
Increase your energy, compassion, and creativity by including 6 quick and easy exercises to your daily routine: * 1: Practice Gratitude -- identify 3 experiences today that you're grateful for. * 2: Deepen Gratitude -- pick one of today's grateful experiences and write everything you remember about it for 2 minutes. * 3: Fun Cardio 15 -- do a fun activity that gets your heart going for at least 15 minutes. * 4: Meditation -- simply stop whatever you're doing and just concentrate on breathing for at least 2 minutes. * 5: Share Gratitude -- take 3 to 5 minutes to send a brief text, email, or postcard expressing your gratitude to someone for an experience yesterday. * 6: Strengthen Community -- take at least 30 minutes to share a meal or activity with family and friends.
Increase compassion, wisdom, and persistence – for yourself, your family, your friends, and others in your community — by practicing mindfulness. Contribute to improving our society by participating in a local mindfulness community; experience the natural rewards. Build in-person friendships, our more effective support networks. Practice interpersonal relationship skills.
Perhaps check out this online talk about the Fundamentals of Mindfulness.
Oh my goodness you are not at all a burden! In fact, as soon as I woke up this morning I checked to see if you replied because I was very concerned about you. Please ask me anything. I have been through the process so therefore I could really give you some great tips! If you want to get better, you will have to lose the idea that you are a burden or else you could miss out on valuable advice and support. As far as your parents, bf, and friends go....I suggest being as straightforward as possible and openly communicating to them about what is going on with you. Sit them down and tell them that you would like their support and that this is who you are. It is a good thing to accept and acknowledge that you have a mental illness. Tell them that you are the same person and that you could be an even better version of yourself if you got the proper help that you needed. Tell them it is easy to sweep things under the rug, but that won't help you. Having a mental illness does not make you weak, it makes you human. You could have been born without a leg, born with downs syndrome, born with autism. You were born with your own set of struggles. It really takes courage to accept this and it is the first step to getting the proper help. Explain to them that the process of finding a therapist can be tricky.. And I recommend reaching out to people or resources that could help guide you through this process. Of course, these are all only suggestions. You tell your friends and family whatever you feel is necessary, but I have found that these points of view have helped me tremendously. My stepfather has severe depression and anxiety so he was able to be a wonderful guide to me as I hit many walls throughout my healing process. Also side note--- Be careful what you read online or who you talk to. A lot of people who write about BPD are VERY judgmental and not at all compassionate. People who have not had this disorder are quick to judge and put down those who do. When you are suffering as badly as we are, you make some unhealthy choices..and people are always quick to gossip and judge. Only you truly know why you do the things that you do and that is all that matters. Just keep working hard to get better, and you do not need to explain yourself to the critics. They will only prevent you from getting better and hold you down. I once had a friend say to me "I don't believe depression is real, it is just people being lazy. You're not trying hard enough. You're probably never going to get better." Well, let's just say we aren't friends anymore... but they were also wrong of course... People who haven't gone through what we have will never understand what it truly feels like. But that is also what makes this disorder special. Because of having BPD, I have become so empathetic and compassionate towards others. I don't gossip anymore about other people because I understand that every person has their own unique struggle. I can certainly disagree with a person's decisions, but I don't have to judge them. I don't know why people do the things that they do and unless I am going to directly as them why, then I have got not business dwelling on it. We know how it feels to truly suffer, and oddly, that is a gift.
Lastly- This book really helped me and changed my life... I would recommend it to anyone: https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474640976&sr=8-1&keywords=the+four+agreements
I would recommend reading/finding the audiobooks of:
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
The Six Pillars Of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
https://www.amazon.com/Six-Pillars-of-Self-Esteem-audiobook/dp/B0000544VI
Good luck
Over the decades I've come to notice the more comfortable I get with myself, the more comfortable others are with me. One of the more difficult lessons I daily embrace is a concept offered in don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements. Specifically agreement two: 'Don't take anything personally.' Sounds easy. In practice - can be difficult. Ultimately - helps me learn to live and love - unconditionally.
When someone appears to judge me - I chuckle! Since I'm still learning about myself, who am I to judge myself - let alone others. Right?
Socrates words of wisdom: Know theyself - a lifelong adventure AND a roadmap to feeling at peace with self - ehh?
The Four Agreements: A Practical... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1878424319?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Fantastic read.
This is a great question. What you're experiencing is really common. And, there are probably a millions of strategies for trying to change our mood and experiences to seem more pleasant. Yet, the common theme seems to be that our lives are challenging. Suffering exists. Suffering comes from our attachment to our desires; the way we want things to be instead of the way things are. We can ease our suffering by reducing our attachment to our desires much more easily than changing the world to satisfy our wishes. We have the power to experience greater freedom from suffering by choosing to invest some of our limited time and energy in a few key routines.
Increase your energy, compassion, and creativity by including 6 quick and easy exercises to your daily routine — DO THESE THINGS EACH AND EVERY DAY: * 1: Practice Gratitude -- identify 3 experiences today that you're grateful for. * 2: Deepen Gratitude -- pick one of today's grateful experiences and write everything you remember about it for 2 minutes. * 3: Fun Cardio 15 -- do a fun activity that gets your heart going for at least 15 minutes. * 4: Meditation -- simply stop whatever you're doing and just concentrate on breathing for at least 2 minutes. * 5: Share Gratitude -- take 3 to 5 minutes to send a brief text, email, or postcard expressing your gratitude to someone for an experience yesterday. * 6: Strengthen Community -- take at least 30 minutes to share a meal or activity with family, friends, or community members.
Increase your peace and mindfulness by practicing the following Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz: * 1: Make choices and take actions in line with your core values — compassion, wisdom, and persistence. * 2: Don't take anything personally. Recognize your limitations. We can't know exactly what others are struggling with and reacting to. * 3: Be open and honest. Express yourself. Ask questions. Never assume anything. * 4: Just do your best in each moment given your unique circumstances and resources available in that moment.
Increase compassion, wisdom, and persistence – for yourself, your family, your friends, and others in your community — by practicing mindfulness. Contribute to improving our society by participating in a local mindfulness community; experience the natural rewards. Build in-person friendships, our more effective support networks. Practice interpersonal relationship skills.
Perhaps check out this online talk about the Fundamentals of Mindfulness.
It's all an experiment. Just do your best in each moment given your unique circumstances and resources available in that moment. :)
Oooo, great question!
Time for reflection about our choices and actions is important to learning about what works well for us and what doesn't work well for us, then figuring out ways to adjust and adapt going forward to work toward more desirable experiences.
Still, our minds are tricky things! Our perceptions are prone to errors. Even if our perceptions are 100% accurate, the way we process what we perceived is even riskier — filled with cognitive biases and logical fallacies. So, talking with someone who may have different experiences and perspectives of the events that occurred, hearing their thoughts, and so on helps to discover a middle ground that is probably more accurate, reliable, and objective than either of your perceptions and processing individually. In fact, we may need to talk with 4 to 7 people to get a reasonably accurate and more objective picture of the way things occurred. Then, we can choose how we want to react; how we want to direct our time, energy, thoughts, feelings, talents, tools, and connections with others. Will we choose compassion, wisdom, and persistence? Or, will we choose something else?
The truth is, our lives are challenging. Suffering exists. Suffering comes from our attachment to our desires; the way we want things to be instead of the way things are. We can ease our suffering by reducing our attachment to our desires. We have the power to experience greater freedom from suffering by choosing to invest some of our our limited time and energy in a few key routines.
Increase your peace and mindfulness by practicing the following Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz: * 1: Make choices and take actions in line with your core values — compassion, wisdom, and persistence. * 2: Don't take anything personally. Recognize your limitations. We can't know exactly what others are struggling with and reacting to. * 3: Be open and honest. Express yourself. Ask questions. Never assume anything. * 4: Just do your best in each moment given your unique circumstances and resources available in that moment.
Increase your energy, compassion, and creativity by including 6 quick and easy exercises to your daily routine: * 1: Practice Gratitude -- identify 3 experiences today that you're grateful for. * 2: Deepen Gratitude -- pick one of today's grateful experiences and write everything you remember about it for 2 minutes. * 3: Fun Cardio 15 -- do a fun activity that gets your heart going for at least 15 minutes. * 4: Meditation -- simply stop whatever you're doing and just concentrate on breathing for at least 2 minutes. * 5: Share Gratitude -- take 3 to 5 minutes to send a brief text, email, or postcard expressing your gratitude to someone for an experience yesterday. * 6: Strengthen Community -- take at least 30 minutes to share a meal or activity with family and friends.
Increase compassion, wisdom, and persistence – for yourself, your family, your friends, and others in your community — by practicing mindfulness. Contribute to improving our society by participating in a local mindfulness community; experience the natural rewards. Build in-person friendships, our more effective support networks. Practice interpersonal relationship skills.
Perhaps check out this online talk about the Fundamentals of Mindfulness.
Yup, totally natural. The truth is, our lives are challenging. Suffering exists. Suffering comes from our attachment to our desires; the way we want things to be instead of the way things are. We can ease our suffering by reducing our attachment to our desires. We have the power to experience greater freedom from suffering by choosing to invest some of our our limited time and energy in a few key routines.
Increase your peace and mindfulness by practicing the following Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz: * 1: Make choices and take actions in line with your core values — compassion, wisdom, and persistence. * 2: Don't take anything personally. Recognize your limitations. We can't know exactly what others are struggling with and reacting to. * 3: Be open and honest. Express yourself. Ask questions. Never assume anything. * 4: Just do your best in each moment given your unique circumstances and resources available in that moment.
Increase your energy, compassion, and creativity by including 6 quick and easy exercises to your daily routine: * 1: Practice Gratitude -- identify 3 experiences today that you're grateful for. * 2: Deepen Gratitude -- pick one of today's grateful experiences and write everything you remember about it for 2 minutes. * 3: Fun Cardio 15 -- do a fun activity that gets your heart going for at least 15 minutes. * 4: Meditation -- simply stop whatever you're doing and just concentrate on breathing for at least 2 minutes. * 5: Share Gratitude -- take 3 to 5 minutes to send a brief text, email, or postcard expressing your gratitude to someone for an experience yesterday. * 6: Strengthen Community -- take at least 30 minutes to share a meal or activity with family and friends.
Increase compassion, wisdom, and persistence – for yourself, your family, your friends, and others in your community — by practicing mindfulness. Contribute to improving our society by participating in a local mindfulness community; experience the natural rewards. Build in-person friendships, our more effective support networks. Practice interpersonal relationship skills.
[Edited]
Fight to survive. You're important. You're needed.
The truth is, our lives are challenging. Suffering exists. Suffering comes from our attachment to our desires; the way we want things to be instead of the way things are. We can ease our suffering by reducing our attachment to our desires. We have the power to experience greater freedom from suffering by choosing to invest some of our our limited time and energy in a few key routines.
Increase your peace and mindfulness by practicing the following Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz: * 1: Make choices and take actions in line with your core values — compassion, wisdom, and persistence. * 2: Don't take anything personally. Recognize your limitations. We can't know exactly what others are struggling with and reacting to. * 3: Be open and honest. Express yourself. Ask questions. Never assume anything. * 4: Just do your best in each moment given your unique circumstances and resources available in that moment.
Increase your energy, compassion, and creativity by including 6 quick and easy exercises to your daily routine: * 1: Practice Gratitude -- identify 3 experiences today that you're grateful for. * 2: Deepen Gratitude -- pick one of today's grateful experiences and write everything you remember about it for 2 minutes. * 3: Fun Cardio 15 -- do a fun activity that gets your heart going for at least 15 minutes. * 4: Meditation -- simply stop whatever you're doing and just concentrate on breathing for at least 2 minutes. * 5: Share Gratitude -- take 3 to 5 minutes to send a brief text, email, or postcard expressing your gratitude to someone for an experience yesterday. * 6: Strengthen Community -- take at least 30 minutes to share a meal or activity with family and friends.
Increase compassion, wisdom, and persistence – for yourself, your family, your friends, and others in your community — by practicing mindfulness. Contribute to improving our society by participating in a local mindfulness community; experience the natural rewards. Build in-person friendships, our more effective support networks. Practice interpersonal relationship skills.
Perhaps check out this online talk about the Fundamentals of Mindfulness.
Also, the book "The Four Agreements" It's a quick read but really reinforces the points he made. https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
You know, I think you are projecting your own attitude and applying it to text that has no tone and thereby creating this "I'm the victim", "you guys suck" mentality. Maybe reread your texts and see if your position is not what you are projecting. It certainly reads that way from here.
Your complaints are centered around how you should be treated. Many people have no problem blending in, or arguing their point. Should any community wrap itself around the expectations of the few?
As a professional coming to a very unprofessional site, I would recommend you toughen up that skin a bit. If you need kid gloves, I think you'll find stackexchange.com or stackoverflow.com more compatible with your sensitivities. Maybe setup a support contract with Conanical or RedHat, guaranteed proper professional treatment, the answers may suck and it might be a tad bit expensive, but your ego won't suffer any bruises.
If you think this is bad. Avoid IRC. I got my face bit off by a user I will not name... insulting me the whole way, but I got an elegant answer to my problem.
IT will never unionize because of egos. If you learn to let yours not get in the way, you'll get a lot more out of the FREE resources available for the FREE OPEN SOURCE tools that IMO crush the other options that seem to come prehacked from the factory with expensive licensing...just saying. You might as well ask for some free blow jobs too, but you should be able to afford it with the savings on licensing fees. Think about it, no longer are you the one getting fucked, but now you can be the one fucking with all the savings.
I only expect professional, tolerant, blah blah blah when I'm paying for it. Otherwise if someone wants to be a fucking douche bag but tell me what I need to know...I didn't have to pay for it. yay! those words mean nothing. You should maybe reflect after reading a book called the Four Agreements. Part of the subtext explains that each word is a contract, and you do not have to agree with the meaning of that word, hence my tree is not a tree comment. The vision of a tree that you have may differ from mine, but we use it for convenience to communicate an untruth. Some of the core tenets of the book are something you may find of value such as: don't take anything personally. The others useful but this one I think you need read/hear.
The world isn't out to get you...and neither is the linux community.
Have a wonderful day and try to read this in the tone of: welcome to the community, chill the fuck out and we'll help you out. or you can choose to view it as ...
Don't let the fog obscure your perception.
Jos haluat selkeyttä siihen, miksi sinun mieli näin toimii, niin voit lukea nämä kirjat:
Nämä kirjat antavat sinulle työkalut ymmärtää, mistä kaikki tämä johtuu, mitä voit asialle tehdä ja miten estää samojen kuvioiden toistumisen tulevaisuudessa. Toisin sanoen miten pääset sieltä pimeydestä pois.
> the four agreements
I'm your age but was like that before, not as bad but stuff bugged me inside a lot, this book helped out a ton.http://www.amazon.com/The-Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal/dp/1878424319
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
http://www.amazon.com/The-Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal/dp/1878424319
Great book, you'd benefit from it a lot.
You really do not need to be that insecure about yourself but - I understand, it happens to all of us - silly women folk...I used to be extremely shy, turning red instantly in uncomfortable situations, not knowing what to say, heck - I wouldn't even ask a clerk at a clothing store wether they had this or that in another size. A lot of it came from my dad being a real asshat towards me when I was little, I get that now that I'm older, but when I noticed I had a changed, I realized that I had someone acquired the sacred attitude of..."so f****** what." Not in the sense of "nothing matters" but in the sense of "focus on the big things". Meeting someone new now, talking to them and realizing that they might not think of me as a valuable person (which honestly rarely happens becuase, if you think about it yourself, exactly those people don't even waste their time thinking about you - they seem distant because they don't care, which for them is healthy as they do not worry what you might or might not think about them) anyways, everytime that happens, I immediately say to myself "so f****** what"? Is it going to hurt me, that she might not want to be best friends with me? I could care less let me tell you. I'll treat her with respect and social standards, but after we're done, I go home, she goes home and I do not think about it any longer. Because I know I'm awesome and if somebody doesn't - so f****** what.
Also, don't say
>I get mediocre grades, I'm not very funny, mediocre looking, and mediocre at my sport and mediocre as a good girlfriend and also so mediocre that nobody wants to build meaningful friendships with me.
Try instead: I get better grades than others, they might not be the best but they sure aren't the worst, I know a couple of good jokes and while I myself am not very expressive in the comedic department I do enjoy the funnies of others and cherish the fact that I have the sense of humor and understanding to do so, I might not be the loveliest flower in the field but I am blooming and while I myself might not yet see it, others do enjoy looking at me, I wouldn't want to be the prettiest flower which get's picked first and then gets to rot in a vase, I might not be the best at sports but who wants to ruin their body for sport just so he/she can win awards and most likely have long term damages when they're older, I'm fit and healthy - two things that, sadly, a riddiculous amount of people cannot say about themselves...
I think you get what I'm talking about. It really is focusing on the bigger things in life. 10 years from now nobody will care about what you have been like in uni - no one. People tend to be narcissistic - which is exactly where our fear of not beeing good enough comes from. You might want to start with getting acceptance of yourself first, before you start with trying to get acceptance from others because you know what? Once you accept yourself, you will realize that you do not need anbodys acceptance, support or opinion when it comes to being who you are.
I want to add a cheesy quotes from Dr. Suess (I think) because I am weird but...so f****** what:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
And trust me - it's true.
Also, what has helped me, in a non-spiritual way even though it might seem like it, was this book, I don't like much about spirituality but the basic principles are very much what I repeated as my mantra for some time and it helped gain confidence. (sorry for the long link....)
This book literally changed my life overnight.
This book helped me see everything differently, success came to me shortly after I changed my mindset and started honouring The Four Agreements https://www.amazon.ca/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
>mitäs vittua tässä nyt?
Lue kirja.
"Could be possibly interpreted as an opportunity for you to take a further victim stance." is different from, "Interpreted as an opportunity for you to take a further victim stance."
It was, you did interpret it that way, that's your choice, you get to own it. You obviously are the victim. It's 100% possible to be a victim, when you use the drama triangle to conceptualize your experience, there always has to be a victim.
I was offering possibilities, because it's Reddit, and like we both acknowledged, I wasn't there.
If people want to know more about what it's like to receive an intake at an ER, they should know what is possible to experience there. That's what this place is for, to provide information for experience.
You can label Betty a menace, be her judge, create her victim-hood and show everyone how she destroyed you. Like you said, it wouldn't free her from her process of investigation, and I'm glad to hear you filed one for concern of other patients.
Perhaps in the future, you can accept that when you place personal experience online, and folks provide interpretations, they aren't your own and you don't have to accept further wounding from strangers, particularly if they aren't offering any.
I'm glad you've chosen to never go through this path again, and my focus was to paint a more full picture for people who might be reading your experience and wondering how they might feel if they were considering their own intake.
I didn't defend anyone who treated you.
I kept general and suggested what could be possible.
I owned that I wasn't there.
I thanked you for sharing your experience.
I wished you to be well.
I would give this a read, and take the second agreement to heart.
I'm grateful to hear you made it back and found the treatment you needed. Thank you for your gift of experience.
Be well.
Please, please read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Changed my life, and the lives of so many friends who also struggle not to take other people's shit personally.
Someone else being an asshole says a whole lot about them, and exceedingly little about you.
> Meanwhile, I'm scared of posting on reddit because... I don't know...
Because there's a large population of judgmental pricks here whose lives revolve around stupid, imaginary things like "karma," thus they spend their time aiming to say something clever they think will earn them the applause (i.e. upvotes) of the thousands of other judgmental pricks here.
If you are "young" (which I'll define here as under 30), I wouldn't worry too much about this-you should develop more confidence in yourself as you grow more mature and gain more experience. I'm a serious introvert as well and do care a lot what strangers think of me, but this has decreased as I've aged.
There's a good book I read called The Four Agreements that has a chapter on not taking things personally. It addresses what you're talking about, and says that the things that people say actually say more about them than you--so don't take it personally. That's the butchered Cliff's Notes version of that chapter. You should probably read it yourself, it's a great book, was very helpful for me.
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