{"product":{"product_id":"B0036Z9U2A","title":"The Gift of Fear","price":"6.39","image_url":"https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/414Zq7nPGKL._SL500_.jpg","url":"https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0036Z9U2A"},"comments":[{"body":"I guess I'll be the oddball here and say that leaving a situation which makes you feel unsafe is the best, ideal reaction. Your body is telling you that you should be scared and that you should leave, always listen. \r\n\r\n\u0026gt;The nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior unlocks the puzzle of human violence and shows that, like every creature on earth, we have within us the ability to predict the harm others might do us and get out of its way. ... [the author] teaches us how to read the signs, using our most basic but often most discounted survival skill - our intuition. \r\n\r\n[Fear is a *gift*. Always listen to it.](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;btkr=1)\r\n\r\nThere is a place and time to be assertive, but: if you are alone, if you are outnumbered, if the person could overpower you, if the person seems unwell or out of control, if your gut is telling you that you are in danger - then that is not the time to be assertive or to try and teach someone a lesson. \r\n\r\nNo person that is harassing you is worth your safety or your life.","subreddit_name":"TheGirlSurvivalGuide","author":"ninasayers21"},{"body":"My psychiatrist reccomended I read the book [The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1545297193\u0026amp;sr=8-1\u0026amp;keywords=the+gift+of+fear) by Gavin de Becker. It was certainly a helpful read.","subreddit_name":"WitchesVsPatriarchy","author":"AnyChipmunk"},{"body":"i'm the worst for tl;dr's and it's been awhile since i read it anyway so i'd be wary to try to summarize haha, but the book is The Gift of Fear, i think it's like ~~$10~~ [$6.39, apparently!](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=\u0026amp;sr=) as an ebook on amazon, though i'm sure it can be found easily on libgen for free as well. Gavin de Becker is a security consultant, came up with the protocol to evaluate threats to Supreme Court Justices and whatnot, so figuring out who's actually dangerous and how to de-escalate a situation is really his Thing. book was very interesting IMO and worth reading :) the stuff about firing a potentially dangerous person is towards the end of the book as far as i remember.","subreddit_name":"bestoflegaladvice","author":"secret-x-stars"},{"body":"For anyone who is hesitant on this talk of trusting your 'feeling' about events going on, give the book ['The Gift of Fear'](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;btkr=1) a look.\r\n\r\nOpinions and feelings aren't all you go on in events like this, but they are a starting point to get to the actual facts and are often reliable.","subreddit_name":"politics","author":"Skadwick"},{"body":"\u0026gt; So my question is, how do you safely leave an abuser? We thought she did everything right. And she still lost her life. \r\n\r\nNot OP, but there is a book that answers this question that I found life changing.  If you're interested in this subject, the book is called [The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A/) (non-affiliate Amazon link) and is written by Gavin deBecker, a survivor of childhood DV who now specializes in protective services.  \r\n\r\nHis take on it is that the very best protective tool we all have is our own gut, how ignoring it has been trained out of adults (especially women), and how to get it back and use it to protect yourself.  \r\n\r\nHe addresses your specific question at length and in great depth as well -- WHY leaving an abuser is the most dangerous part of DV -- and what can be done from all angles (personal, practical, financial, etc) to minimize that danger.  The problem is that people who are trying to leave DV, especially without outside help, often don't recognize the point of leaving as being as dangerous as it truly is.\r\n\r\nWhether you're a guy or a girl, this book may well change your life -- it did mine -- and cause you to look at these situations in a whole new way.  I can't recommend it enough.","subreddit_name":"IAmA","author":"whiffypants"},{"body":"Above all else, trust your instincts!! \r\n\r\nEven when you can't quite put your finger on what it is that is freaking you out, oftentimes it is your subconscious survival instinct trying to tell you that something is not right. For the sake of your safety, listen to that voice!\r\n\r\nThat is basically the central thesis of this great book called [The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A) by Gavin de Becker. Definitely check it out if/when you have a minute. \r\n\r\nI'm sorry you are going through this, and I hate that the people around you are making you feel like you're crazy. Please know that you are **not** overreacting. You can't be too careful when it comes to protecting yourself. Good luck to you, I hope you stay safe!","subreddit_name":"RBI","author":"FlGHT_ME"},{"body":"1- Keep detailed records of all interactions.  Everything.  Calls, texts, emails, letters, suspicious activities, complaints to police... all of it.\r\n\r\n2- Get [The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A) and read it.  Twice.\r\n\r\n3- Take appropriate measures to hide all your info.\r\n\r\n4- Buy a gun.  Take professional training classes.  \r\n\r\n\u0026amp;#x200B;\r\n\r\nI wish you well","subreddit_name":"privacy","author":"N0mDeD00m"},{"body":"**Trust your instincts** and go read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker... \r\n\r\nThis book should be required reading for everyone but especially young women.\r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=sr\\_1\\_1?crid=126L7WATZF52J\u0026amp;keywords=the+gift+of+fear\u0026amp;qid=1668807286\u0026amp;sprefix=the+gift+of+fear%2Caps%2C194\u0026amp;sr=8-1","subreddit_name":"recruitinghell","author":"ipsok"},{"body":"Honestly? Ignore them. I don't mean the specific emails, I mean the individual in all the forms they try to harass you. Your best case is that they keep using one specific account because you can use mail rules to file the messages directly to the trash (or a folder of your choice, marked as read, in case you ever need evidence).\r\n\r\nIf you want to try and make them move along to another mailbox or another service immediately, you can contact abuse@protonmail.com with the full message (raw body and headers -- Mention what mail client or service you're using and I or someone will help you get the needed info).\r\n\r\nI say \"make them move along...\" because the reality is that it takes less time and energy for them to set up a new account than it takes you to try and get it shut down, and they know they still have your attention the whole time as their accounts keep getting shut down, so they're motivated to keep going and you're stuck in a cycle of unintentionally feeding them reasons to harass you further.\r\n\r\nI would highly recommend reading [The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B0036Z9U2A/) as it goes into various real-world cases of stalking, discusses motivations, and how to get them to go away.","subreddit_name":"ProtonMail","author":"thedaveCA"},{"body":"If you are feeling uneasy about it it means that you picked up something wrong subconsciously. \r\n\r\nLet him come to you.  Meeting a stranger in a city you are not familiar with (and who is one of those 50 shades inspired dominant)  is not a good idea.\r\n\r\nI recommend reading [The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=\u0026amp;sr=) by Gavin De becker.","subreddit_name":"sugarlifestyleforum","author":"LightOLove"},{"body":"There are some major red flags here.\r\n\r\na) he is only 26\r\n\r\nb) wanting a sex slave.. a lot of those so called \"dominant\" guys are just abusers who use BDSM as a cover to be sexually rough and ignoring your boundaries\r\n\r\nc) cuckholding plus you being sub could mean that he might want you to do a gang bang  or have sex (for free) with his friends. This could put you in a super dangerous situation and even at risk of being trafficked or pimped out.\r\n\r\nd) your instincts tell you not to meet him. **ALWAYS** trust your instincts. You subconsciously picked up something and this is why you are hesitant about it\r\n\r\nI recommend that you block him and do not meet him. Also read this book \r\n\r\n[The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=\u0026amp;sr=)","subreddit_name":"SugarBABYonlyforum","author":"LightOLove"},{"body":"Yeah its a shit explanation of the book. Here’s the blurb from Amazon -\r\n\r\n*In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.\r\n\r\nHe says he loves you. So...why does he do that?\r\n \r\nYou’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:\r\n \r\n• The early warning signs of abuse\r\n\r\n• The nature of abusive thinking\r\n\r\n• Myths about abusers\r\n\r\n• Ten abusive personality types\r\n\r\n• The role of drugs and alcohol\r\n\r\n• What you can fix, and what you can’t\r\n\r\n• And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely*\r\n\r\nI’ve read it and found it very useful. I think this book and [The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1SXJ3DJXEE9BU\u0026amp;keywords=the+gift+of+fear+by+gavin+debecker\u0026amp;qid=1656321998\u0026amp;sprefix=The+gift+of+f%2Caps%2C395\u0026amp;sr=8-1) by Gavin DeBecker are both required reading for people in abusive relationships, or for people who have abusive parents. Although “Why does He Do That” is specifically aimed at women dealing with abusive partners, I can see it would be useful for any person dealing with an abusive man in their lives, whether that’s a boss, a parent, or a co-worker.","subreddit_name":"AmItheAsshole","author":"Enlightened_Gardener"},{"body":"The gift of fear is a great book about intuition. Maybe it will help you find or trust yours. It seemed to be written really just to get you to trust your intuition but maybe it will help.\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Gift of Fear https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_HS5XJA0K8VFZX9AHDFBP","subreddit_name":"AskWomen","author":"Muayrunner"},{"body":"Dude, just for the record, NO, this situation is NOT \"totally your fault and all that.\"\r\n\r\nOnly assholes and psychos respond to breakups the way this guy is responding. It is NOT your fault that he is responding that way.\r\n\r\nGoogle the name of your state plus \"restraining order\" to see how to potentially get a restraining order. And please read at least the chapter on stalkers in this excellent book, *The Gift of Fear* by Gavin de Becker (he's a security expert and this book is AMAZING): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0036Z9U2A","subreddit_name":"TwoXChromosomes","author":"Daleth2"},{"body":"Came here to say this! I read that book years ago and it had me hooked from page 1. **Always trust your gut.**\r\n\r\n[The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker](https://smile.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker-ebook/dp/B0036Z9U2A/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1AW8Z2CCCXOIB\u0026amp;keywords=the+gift+of+fear+by+gavin+debecker\u0026amp;qid=1646871924\u0026amp;sprefix=The+gift+of+fear%2Caps%2C2522\u0026amp;sr=8-1)","subreddit_name":"TwoXPreppers","author":"chicagotodetroit"}]}