I am really deep inside that philosophy for few years. I recommend you to try this book: https://www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Stoicism-Resilience-Confidence-ebook/dp/B07MY2VFQD Great straightforward introduction. You could also dig into rabbit hole thorough the subreddit, they have FAQ for example.
I was exposed to Stoicism through undergrad philosophy courses. I think I only every read secondary sources, and I think that works just fine for Stoicism. It's pretty simple at it's core.
This looks good with a bunch of ratings: The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MY2VFQD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apan_glt_7TEFQZGY3TGTR6Q59MQP
>The Little Book of Stoicism
Try this link (AU Amazon): The Little Book of Stoicism
If it doesn't work, let me know and I will see if it is available somewhere else.
Having read a few over the past few years, id agree with everyone who says Enchiridion and Meditations
I’d look at The Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzgeber
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If you like reading, I'd suggest you this book: https://www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Stoicism-Resilience-Confidence-ebook/dp/B07MY2VFQD
You must see a therapist who specializes in trauma. Look into EDMR and other trauma treatments.
You can't heal alone, nor should you have to.
Meditation is also very good. https://youtu.be/mYk-MldGDWA
Edit: I have a lot of trauma and stoicism has helped. Here is a good book. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MY2VFQD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_DYY6JQVDYWSDSDNT4ANH
Hugs.
Can you look into Stoicism? It addresses the concerns you raise.
I can link two books for you to get started: Firstly, The Little Book of Stoicism and after that, this detailed book, The Practicing Stoic
Even if you don't get the books I suggested above, do take some time out and learn about the tenets of this philosophy. You'll not regret it.