Model Thinker does a good job of relating mathematical models to real life scenarios. The later chapters may help you fall asleep quicker https://www.amazon.com/Model-Thinker-What-Need-Know/dp/0465094627? Scorecasting is a light read too https://www.amazon.com/Scorecasting-Hidden-Influences-Behind-Sports/dp/0307591808?
According to the psychological concept Mental Contrasting, it is indeed very important to begin with exploring to find a strong why (a wish of a positive outcome that using math could give to you concretely in your life) to get your motivational juices going. Then you have to face the obstacles to learn it so you can make that wanted outcome come true. Starting with the wish and specific outcome and then after thinking about the obstacles is going to be more motivational.
The research specifically points out how doing these steps in reverse (thinking about the obstacles first, then trying to repair a leaking ship with unsatisfying whys) is not as motivational.
So I’m here to say that part of your intuitive emotional reaction is right. School often doesn’t focus on explaining why first, and it is not good design. The sad thing is that there are many really compelling whys out there, that many students miss. Instead the why becomes to ”pass”, which isn’t the right motivation to really learn math and use it in real life later.
To find the whys I’d suggest exploring to find it. There are definately good explanations out there that I havn’t discovered yet but here are a few that helped me:
The Model Thinker https://www.amazon.com/Model-Thinker-What-Need-Know/dp/0465094627 The author explains how models can be used for REDCAPE, Reason, Explain, Design, Communicate, Act, Predict, Explore. These are more specifically defined in the book. My point is that mathematical models can help you do these things more accurately and hence more effectively. Indirectly the REDCAPE behaviors use math to do very generally useful things. For example, you can design a lot of things that improve the world somehow. Basing those design decisions on well calibrated judgement which you get from using math e.g. statistics/probabilistic thinking, will make better systems that can then give us values we care about more effectively. Math is a powerful tool to help us increase other values we care about.
Programming is basically mathematical modeling, so if you care about building good software it helps to know math since it will make simpler but more effective programs. Having a clear mathematical model of the program you create often saves a lot of time and improves the quality.
Take a class in Mathematical Modeling. There the math is used to solve problems, so the gap of learning how to use the basic math can start to fill. Crucially this should be done by doing actual real problems. To emotionally feel like math is useful you need to experience it, the intuitive part of the brain doesn’t just believe your reasoning side, however good the arguments are, if you don’t experience it being useful too. This way, you can gradually grow a deep interest. And crucially it is then built on the real whys or why math is useful. Just doing puzzles that you don’t care about is often more related to wanting to show off how smart one is, which is another misguided use of mathematics. The real utility to use it to solve real problems. Then of course one can decide to have an intrinsic value of exploring math for fun, but if one struggles to find math fun I think it is better to apply it than to try to force oneself to like puzzles.
Browse Wikipedia lists & outlines on math (specifically applied math) to build a map of what math is used for what applications. You can’t learn all math, so focus on what is used in the application area you care about to begin with.
Princeton book on Applied Mathematics has a good overview of applied maths and use cases. Finding examples you care about is key!
One key to getting more motivated to study and apply math is also to adapt our own values and e.g. start caring more about the accuracy math procides because it can help other people and society. You can surely use math to improve your own life, and you should start with and continue to do so. The strongest motivation to put in the effort to learn and analyse with math might however come from seeing how useful it can be for improving systems in the world. Powerful tools are only as important as the projects you apply them to. So if you use it for something that will help other people, you’re likely to be more motivated.
Hope that helps some! 🙂