My advice? Don't go the complete opposite direction and just start sexing everything in sight. People who have been living super structured lives sometimes find themselves disillusioned and even more dissatisfied with their lives after they "cut loose" due to guilt/inability to handle emotions they haven't had to deal with before. I say you should educate yourself on sex and relationships. There are plenty of good sex books on Amazon. But one of my favorites isn't even really a sex book, per se. It is called "The New Male Sexuality". As to relationships, dating is the best way to learn how to interact. You don't have to have sex or a relationship with every person you take out on a date. If there is no spark for you after 3 dates, move on (even fewer dates if you are absolutely repulsed, haha) I would wait until I find someone who cares about me to lose my virginity. Going from choirboy to the guy who picks up women at bars and has casual sex is probably not going to be the best thing for your psyche. Good Luck, man. You are going to make a few mistakes. Just try not to let them define you.
They work great if you want to imagine what it is like to have sex if your penis were made of wood rather than skin and nerves. I imagines this is what sex would feel like if you wore 8 condoms. It was fun as an experiment and as a novelty, but I can't imagine having to do this every time I had sex. I also learned really quick that you have to be really careful with this stuff. If it rubs off on the woman's clitoral hood she loses all sensation too making it hard for her to feel anything either. Sex just becomes an exercise of two sets of genitals rubbing so hard and fast that they might start a fire in bed. And not the good kind. I advise any man thinking he might need a delay spray to stop premature ejaculation to instead get a book that costs a few dollars used on Amazon: The New Male Sexuality. You learn those techniques and you have a lifelong skill. But some of the techniques/exercises require a patient partner.
When you are on an SSRI, you are ON an SSRI. These aren't pills to play around with. I know firsthand they can kill your libido. And if you don't come off them the right way, you will find yourself wanting to put a noose around your neck and stand on a really shaky chair. The right one can do what you want. The wrong one can do possibly permanent changes in your body that you may not appreciate. There are guys walking around who haven't had an orgasm from PIV in years because of taking an SSRI that wasn't compatible to them. I might would risk all that to avoid or treat depression. I'm not so sure that I would so I could last for an hour in bed. But then, I'm not you and haven't had to deal with what you are going through right now. Have you tried the "Stop/Go" method? Go to Amazon and take a look inside of this book called The New Male Sexuality. Page 275 starts a chapter on ejaculatory control. Page 375 lists different prescription drugs and the sexual effects they can have on men. It's like $2 used. Really helped me be a better lover. I would try these techniques with your wife as a willing partner/tutor/student before I used SSRI's. But that's just me.
The key to ejaculation control is knowing your point of ejaculatory inevitability and how to back off. That, combined with learning kegels and how to close that sphincter can make you into guy who only cums when HE wants to (within reason). The book that helped me with ejaculatory control most was "The New Male Sexuality". The "Look Inside" on this book used to have just about the entire book posted on Amazon. But if that is no longer true, it still costs about two dollars used. Desensitizing your penis is not the best way to handle this. How much fun can it be to have sex with a penis that has only slightly more sensation than a mop handle? Don't let this stop you from buying the toy. It can still be a good tool to practice your new skills on.
I went to my therapist: no porn, no fap, stay focused on my lady friend.
Sex therapist: lots to unpack, bring your lady friend next week, read this book: The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553380427/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_53SA7HER5AWPHRM4SP4N
MD appt 11/29, I’m tricking a clinic to run blood Monday so there is no delay.
Lady friend: initially felt unattractive because of ED. Now sees the pressure I am experiencing on some level because I like her so much. Needs me to wrap up some issues with my ending marriage to date me.
I’m still losing weight (254 to 201). exercising now. Mostly plant based diet. Just an update.
You have to learn how to edge. Know what it feels like when you are going to shoot and then back off just before that moment of ejaculatory inevitability. I can't vote for you intentionally deadening one of the most sensitive parts of your penis for nothing. That's right, sometimes penile sensations have close to nothing to do with PE. I would try a gel like KY's Duration before I made permanent changes to the nerve reactions of my penis. Chances are if Duration doesn't work, deadening your glans by wearing your foreskin back won't work either. Do the "Look Inside" of this book. Go to page 275 and learn some real skills. If they don't give access to the whole chapter, you can buy this book used for like $2 on Amazon.
This book costs a couple of dollars used and could change your sexual life. The problem is that some of the exercises need to be done with a patient and willing partner. So you are doing this kind of backward. You may not feel "ready" for a steady girlfriend, but that is who is going to help you through this best. Most random one night stands and FWB's don't want to sit around helping you practice "Stop-Go" (Chapter 20, page 275 if you do the Look Inside on the Amazon preview).
I just took a look at the "Look Inside" for this book on Amazon and almost the whole book is there. They probably removed some of the techniques, though.
I was barely 12. I was reading along with a description of the male sexual response from an earlier version of this book that I'd stolen from the library so my mom didn't have to know I had it.
http://www.amazon.com/New-Male-Sexuality-Revised/dp/0553380427/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1423189493&sr=1-1&keywords=the+new+male+sexuality Click the picture of the book cover to get a look inside at all the subjects in the Table of contents. I need to buy a new copy and reread, because I think I have the old 1992 version.
There's a great section in this book about how to help yer guy "train" himself to not do that. It's been out for a while, so the tone may sounds a little dated, but the content is great.
http://www.amazon.com/New-Male-Sexuality-Revised/dp/0553380427
The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld
https://www.amazon.com/New-Male-Sexuality-Revised/dp/0553380427
He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man is the companion book to She Comes First, both by Ian Kerner
It's called delayed (or retarded) ejaculation. A lot of guys have it. Check out a book called The New Male Sexuality
You're welcome. It makes me feel good to think I may have been a help. How long do you spend in masturbatory sessions? Have you ever been able to touch yourself for 30 minutes or longer without having an orgasm? Well that is your new goal. You need to learn how to "edge". What edging is, is basically recognizing what it feels like when you are about to cum and riding the "edge" of that. There is this thing called "ejaculatory inevitability". Basically it is the point of no return. Once you hit it, you are going to shoot no matter what. The secret to edging is knowing what that feels like to you and knowing how to back off stimulation until you come only when you wish to. You can't consider yourself a pro edger until you almost cum about a half dozen times in a masturbatory session and you successfully stop yourself before cumming each of those times. Two major components to this helped the most for me. The first was learning kegels. This I can't help you with because I haven't bothered to learn the new proper way to do them. It has been said that the way I do them causes problems for some men (even though I have never had a difficulty) so I just try not to share it much anymore. Anyway, there are loads of ways to find this info if you just Google "male kegel methods". The kegels help you find and strengthen the muscles that shut off your ejaculation so you can mechanically do that internally if you wish. The second method of staving off orgasm is the "start-stop squeeze" method. With this method, basically you stimulate until you feel ejaculatory inevitability start coming on. Then you stop all stimulation and do a special squeeze wherein you place the pads of the tips of your index and middle fingers on the underside of your penis head and your thumb over the ridge where your penis head and shaft meet. Then squeeze. Very firmly, and not enough to hurt - but good and tight, until that feeling that you are going to come goes away. I have been able to edge for over two hours without cumming. Some people do it for days. I tried it once, but it isn't fun to me, because that congested blue balls feeling for hours on end negates any good feelings I get. Also, take note. The start - stop method is a great method for use with a partner once you master it on your own. You just teach her the squeeze and allow her to do it during intercourse with your instruction on when to apply it. I know you said that you don't like reading dry articles but the book that I think helped me to be a sex god is "The New Male Sexuality". Starting at page 275 is a wonderful chapter on controlling your ejaculation. You will notice that I have stuck to mainly the physical. I don't do well with controlling thoughts. For the most part, I just let them happen and "move on". Calm down doesn't seem to be much help to anybody. I've got a feeling that once you have a few good sessions of intercourse a lot of the PE will go away and your new "problem" will be how to make the most of the 3-5 minutes most guys last while thrusting. If your girlfriend can cum from intercourse alone she is lucky. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm.
http://www.amazon.com/New-Male-Sexuality-Revised/dp/0553380427 I had to read this book for class, it made me realize how much pressure men go through. I would recommend it. It deals with everything, psychology drugs that might help etc.
Check it out.