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I have a few posts here on ADHD 101:
"Different ways of thinking" is also a fun read: (not necessarily ADHD-related tho)
imo it helps a TON to understand how ADHD brains work, both for people living with it & for people who live with them, as you have to deal with irrational thinking, which can be super exhausting!
I'm very fortunate to have a very understanding & patient wife who has accepted my weird ADHD-driven quirks over the years, like why I feel the need to stay up until 2am the night before a flight cleaning & organizing the entire house rather than just doing the simple job of packing, hahaha.
But with the Mooch Circuit explanation, which leads to executive dysfunction & emotional dysregulation, we can start to see the mental battering ram effect that happens, where we get smashed emotionally & compelled to do OTHER things than what we're supposed to, because we simply have no energy available for choice enforcement on the things we "have" to do.
Somehow, our brain knows what the core requirement of a task is & likes to put up a "titanium blindspot" around it. If we have "have" to do homework, then we may end up rearranging our bedroom into the wee hours of the night, because the task suddenly & immersively feels like climbing Mount Everest.
It's also really difficult to see this behavior in action, to know what the story is, yet to also be subject to "riding the bull" instead of watching from the sidelines. The description in the comic below about the "hanging weights" & the inability to move ourselves is a SUPER apt description of the weirdness that happens to us as a result of the low mental energy that comes as a result of the Mooch Circuit:
- https://iraprince.tumblr.com/post/631158826868031488/hey-im-kicking-off-the-adhdinvasion-hashtag-for
For most of us, it takes a combination of giving 110% & engaging in masking just to get by on the basics of life, which is weird because a lot of us are superstars at work, but will sit there & stare at the dishes or trash for 5 minutes, unable to self-motivate ourselves into effective action...not because we don't want to, but because it feels like diving off a 1,000-foot cliff onto sharp rocks below, just super duper awful!
I didn't get diagnosed until my mid-20's & BOY what a revelation THAT was! Finding my tribe online through newsgroups, forums, and social media was soooo validating! But once the initial shock (of delight) was over, I had to start figuring things out. Like, it took me an entire YEAR after getting diagnosed just to learn how to study, because I had NO IDEA how to actually study!
For most of us with ADHD, we operate best off the "invisible checklist". By default, we're driven solely by the physical-visible stuff or the emotionally-tangible stuff, so we get overwhelmed easily by everything we see & feel. But once we understand clearly how something works, all of a sudden we're ninjas at it!
I spent my entire grade-school career looking around class at other people, trying to see the invisible checklists that they all seemed to see. Until I obtain that checklist for something (such as "how to study" or "how to write an essay"), all I do is brute-force my way through stuff by play-acting like I know what I'm doing, which of course leads to intense imposter syndrome lol. It's like "Catch Me If You Can" but for everything in life, big & little!
Anyway, when you have sufficient mental energy, you can rely on your brain's consistent access to The Thought Process™ & thus you have the ability to easily be persistent & figure stuff out, without your brain developing a literal tension headache or making you incredibly tired & fatigued. I call that the PiB for "Physical iniative Battery", because when your brain is drained, those resources for learning stuff, doing stuff, and figuring stuff out become non-functional!
This is like the whole "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" thing from the Wizard of Oz...once you see the secret clarity of the core operation of ADHD, all of the downstream stuff makes sense:
- ADHD = low dopamine
- Low dopamine = the momma & poppa issues, i.e. Executive Dysfunction & Emotional Dysregulation
- Those then have hundreds of children...hyperfocus, object permanence (object constancy), limerances, RSD, etc. etc. etc. plus comorbidities like anxiety, panic, and depression, which are really all rooted in low available mental energy & not having enough energy to think through confrontations that require energy, or to have enough energy to full enjoy things in life, etc.
On the flip side, if you live & work with people who have ADHD, learning all of this stuff enables you to better serve them, both through sympathy of understand what they're fighting against, as well as on-ramps (and off-ramps) for different behaviors. If you like to read, here are a few good books to check out:
Managing or "manipulating" people with ADHD into the correct behavior involves a combination of knowing how their brains operate & how people operate in general. We deal with a combination of strong internal emotional & mental pressure, which pushes us to hyperfocus on "the wrong thing" all the time.
That's where the links a few posts up come into play...designing out our day (work/passion/play), programming our "discrete assignments" (so that we don't have to cave to a low PiB battery & not have access to the ability to figure things out in the moment), and having primed "battlestations" to work within.
That's what interfacing with the "invisible checklist" for each task is really all about...learning how to see beyond the physical & emotional state of things & function against what we want & what we plan to do! Which is really hard because with ADHD, we often have a million things swirling around in our heads, but then get that pressure against doing things, and then that hydraulic arm pushes so hard it pops the task off the plate & we simply forget about things, hence Hydraulic Hornet syndrome haha!
If you enjoyed this content, please consider purchasing Blair Warren's (very) affordable eBook on this subject. It's short and just a few dollars.
I bring it up because this summary is great, but the eBook is so short that it basically covers the entire book!
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