Pretty much the exact opposite of your post is a good start!
Okay, in seriousness though, I’m going to say “study up on nonmonogamy and poly and swinging etc”, really see which parts of each resonate most, and try to see if one sounds “the most right”… Then look for INDIVIDUAL partners looking for the same thing. Who knows what form your nonmono relationships will take? So many possibilities!
As far as book recommendations, I’m going to come from left field and say the best way to look into STARTING in Polyamory is The Polyamory Breakup Book. It has a ton of stories of real life poly people from the start to end of their relationships… it can give you a better window into what day to day poly life is than really any of the true “introductory” Poly books will. That said, follow it up with Designer Relationships, or maybe Polysecure, and you’ll at least know what the other polyfolk are talking about when you hit the next meetup in your area.
That’s called breaking up and becoming friends.
This is a polyam-focused break up book.
De-escalation is where you change your relationship, by mutual desire and negotiation, while still maintaining a loving/committed/romantic (if that’s your thing)/sexual (if that’s your thing) relationship (whatever that looks like to you).
You spoke clearly of breaking up. And you are now friends. You might have some mixed feels about this. That, to me, is always a sign that I need a little more distance before exploring a friendship, but some folks feel differently.
https://psychcentral.com/health/polyamorous-relationship#takeaway https://hellorelish.com/articles/polyamorous-dos-donts-things-to-know.html https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/polyamory https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1128665.Opening_Up https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4469773-the-ethical-slut https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40747183-building-open-relationships https://www.amazon.com/Polyamory-Breakup-Book-Prevention-Survival/dp/1944934812 https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52569124-polysecure
Do your research! Watch podcasts, read books, do anything but jumping straight into the thing without knowing what you can clearly handle and give.
There's a whole book on it, enjoy! https://www.amazon.com/Polyamory-Breakup-Book-Prevention-Survival/dp/1944934812